It doesn’t matter whether you are in a serious relationship, planning on getting married, or have been married for years, trust is one of the pillars of a healthy relationship. If trust does not exist between the two parties, there is very little chance the relationship will go very far. A relationship without trust can usually only mean one thing; separation. For anyone who believes that they might be in a relationship threatened by lack of trust, it is probably time to think about consulting a couple’s online therapist, or a couple’s online counselor. If the relationship is one that should be salvaged, then going through a few sessions might actually help the couple out. Sometimes the relationship is falling apart and the couple is not aware that it is a lack of trust between them that is causing the rift in their relationship. A couple’s therapist can help highlight the problem and then work with the couple to learn how to trust each other.
Now the question arises as to how it is that a therapist, or counselor can help increase the amount of trust in a couple’s relationship. Well, there is the option of online therapy where a therapist can give out some advice over the internet. There is also the option of telephone therapy where the couple can contact a therapist or a counselor by phone and get some advice this way; however, going in to see someone in person might be better so the professional has the chance to get to know the couple in person. This can make it easier for the therapist to see where the trust issues are coming from and what the best way of correcting the trust issues for the couple would be. Most of the time, trust issues can arise for different reasons, such as not spending enough time together, not being open with one another, not communicating properly, or even as a result of past problems that included a cheating problem. There are occasions when the couple is not aware of the true reasons for their lack of trust. A therapist can help a couple find out what the reason, or reasons, are and then help the couple get past these hindrances.
When a couple can’t depend on one another, because they can’t fully trust one another, it can only lead to an end for that relationship. Sometimes the couple is unaware of it, but if the relationship is rocky, lack of trust could very well be a reason. People involved in rocky relationships need to ask themselves whether or not they feel they can depend on the other person, trust the other person, or whether they can open up and confide in the other person in confidence. If not, then it is probably a good idea to think about consulting a therapist or counselor for some advice, either online counseling, by telephone counseling or in person. In the end it doesn’t matter what a person or couple believe the problem is, if their relationship is one they want to salvage, seeking help from a couple’s therapist is probably the best thing to do.
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Thanks. Many women know they are in relationships that may not be healthy, but need to be reminded to set parameters for themselves. Communication is a great way to deal with issues of trust, especially with your partner. If you're looking for tips on good communication, here's some ideas from the always chipper American Association of Matrimonial Lawyers:
1. Realize that no one "wins" an argument. If you don't leave a discussion with a possible solution to the problem, then neither party has been successful.
2. Compromise is an essential tool to solving problems through communication. Before bringing up a problem, make sure you have thought of ways that you can help solve it by mutual compromise.
3. Try to be positive when bringing up sensitive marital problems. Instead of jumping right into a discussion, open by acknowledging that every partnership could be improved and you'd like to take some time and discuss the things that are working in your relationship and the areas that could use improvement. It helps to start by talking about positive things and then moving into the deeper discussion on problem areas.
4. Be a "reflective" listener and make sure you understand what your partner has said. "What I hear you saying is..." is a great way to make sure the proper message has been received.
5. Feel free to use the "time out" card if the discussion gets too intense. If an argument gets heated and irrational, it is better to postpone the discussion to a time and place where effective communication can happen.
6. Make sure your body language, facial expressions and vocal tone are in line with your message. One study showed that 55% of the emotional meaning of what you say is expressed by your facial expression. While only 7% of the emotional meaning is verbal.
7. Be honest, direct and focus on the real issue. If you enter a conversation insecure about making your point -- you probably won't make it.
8. If you can't come up with a definitive solution, at least try to end the conversation on a positive note like "I think it's good we've both shared our feelings and we'll continue to talk about it and try to come up with a better solution."
9. Don't ever be rude or talk down to your partner in a discussion about your relationship. Don't dismiss an idea or thought as absurd, but instead listen to your partner's point and then react with the reasons you disagree in a respectful manner.
10. Stay on track. If you sit down to talk about a financial problem and suddenly other emotional issues are coming up, realize that you may need to focus on one area at a time in order to create solutions instead of mere bickering.
11. Recognize when you need outside help to communicate effectively. A counselor or marriage retreat may help solve what seems to be an impossible communication problem.
You may also want to check out this post on fair fighting.
August 22, 2008 - 9:09amThis Comment