I am married with 2 kids ,Ive known my husband for the past 8years coz we we were living together but we have been maried for 3 years.My husband is an outgoing person he smokes ,drinks alcohol,likes his freands more than anything and also like women,coz he has cheated on me several times.I have noticed that we do not share the same values and principles, the only thing that is keeping us together is the kids .I never grew up with both parents and it was my dream to provide my kids with a stable home as I know how it fels to be not raised by your both parents.and I have been praying for the past years for God to show me if he is the
one for me coz I have been emotinaly abused by him .but coukd not gety out of the mariage because of the kids as they love their dad so I was puting them first.on the 14 of February I met someone and I felt so close to him which made me realised that I love him ,He shares the same value and princilples as me he does not smoke,drink,does not have plenty of friends he is exactly like me but the only problem he is divorced with three kids.He is a saved christian like me and we know what we are doing is not right but we have been both hurt and for him its better cos he is out already of the abuse ,for me I think about my kids, is he worth hurting my kids for the rest of their lives.Coz if I divorce my husband my kids will be the ones who wilk be afected the most.I am realy confused I do not know how to deal with this I have asked the sisters from church to pray for me for God to reavil which man is rigth for me.I dont want to hurt either of them but would like to do what is righht,also Im scared of losing the new guy as I think he wil be fed up waitng for me
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Kamo,
Thank you for your post. As much as you want to provide your children with a mother and father-- something you never had-- if your husband is a drunk, abusive person then unfortunately you are doing your children and yourself more harm than good. There is no reason for children to have to grow up in that environment and ultimately this is why lots of kids run away from home, are unhappy, and make other poor choices in life. Your kids will love their father no matter if you are living with him or not but children know when things are bad at home and the biggest mistake parent's make is thinking that by staying in a bad relationship they are doing what is best for their children.
Get out of that poisonous marriage, take some time for yourself and your kids, and then consider this new person in your life. What you don't want to do is get out of one relationship and introduce your children to your next in a matter of days or even weeks-- if you must continue to see this other man, make sure you do not introduce your children to him until you are sure that he could be the one you spend your life with. I am sorry that you are facing a tough decision but honestly feel like if your children are being raised in a home with no parental love, alcohol, and abuse then they are better off in a home with one parent, serenity, peace, and love.
Please keep us updated and good luck.
March 16, 2010 - 6:12amThis Comment