Hi Kandy,
I hope you check out those resources Rosa messaged you. There is hope for you. If you feel you are in a dangerous situation, you can get help--let us know if you need information to get you started in a healthy direction. You too have choices. You can choose to stay where you are or you can do something to help yourself.
Be well, and keep hope alive for yourself. I know things may be tough for you, but you too can look forward to a brighter tomorrow.
Take care!

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Dear beingused,
Without prying too much & at the risk of you telling me I'm crazy....& mind my own business, do you mind me asking WHY you are the“bread-winner” & also is he possibly military as these two things would explain some things further.....if, he's NOT military,& he DOES goto work too....THEN.....I KNOW YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE THIS EVER, BUT, if he's good-looking, NOT CHEATING(that you know of),........ARE YOU SITTING DOWN?.....he could be GAY/OR BI. THE only reason I know this is from experience! I had dated a very sexy, very successful, guy that LOVED SEX WITH ME/ANYONE/LOVED PORN...then after we got comfortable like with you& your man, it tapered off (the sex) yet, he still found desire& time go online look@porn/dating sites, etc.,(I thought for girls) reason I couldn't find the answers I was looking for was cuz I wasn't asking the right questions...turns out after I had to just call it quits-PERIOD-I learned he was fighting homosexual urges...so, he DID"LOVE"ME, he DID"WANT" ME, but he couldn't admit to me or himself he might be closet gay..as he was a MAN-LY MAN! GREAT BODY, HOT AS HELL, EVEN HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT/WHY.HE WATCHES THE PORN TO SEE THE GUYS, An HE WOULDN'T ACT ON IT IN REAL LIFE.SO, being with me kept him in a false sense of reality, so HE HIMSELF DIDN'T EVEN HAVE, TO ADMIT TO HIMSELF/ANYONE HE COULD BE GAY/BI....unless,(back to beginning question), if he is home from military, etc., then its something else.This may seem to far-fetched for you to believe RIGHT NOW, BUT, I PROMISE YOU, ANYTHINGS POSSIBLE....I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW ITS DEFINITELY NOT YOU, ITS HIM, BUT YOU NEED TO MOVE ON! EITHER WAY, YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN'T HELP HE WON'T LET YOU,& IF IT IS what I've said, there's NO WAY IN HELL YOU CAN HELP HIM HE WILL NOT even help himself due to being in denial for a long time! My guy still is & its been 6yrs, but it's "rumored" he's been experimenting! CAUTION!!! Do NOT APPROACH/ACCUSE/ASK HIM AS IT IS/CAN BE DANGEROUS......A COMPLETELY PASSIVE MAN,(WHEN ACCUSED OF HOMOSEXUALITY) CAN BECOME ABUSIVE....JUST GET OUT WHILE THERE'S SOME SMALL PART OF YOUR SELF-ESTEEM LEFT for a "HEALTHY" RELATIONSHIP! OBVIOUSLY, EVEN IF YOU'RE "OFF THE MARK"SOME/ALL IT'S OVER, RIGHT? WHEN YOU FEEL YOU CAN'T GO ON, GET OUT.IF YOU'VE TRIED ALL YOU CAN.....IF YOU'RE not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
SS :( I hope this helped, but pls respond & let me know....SOMEONE DOES CARE-YOU ARE NOT ALONE! K.A.P., Ms

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I have looked on the relate web site today and am going to book in with them. Due to work commitments, christmas etc.... I hadn't had the opportunity but its now so bad that I am going to get myself there for help. I can't bare it anymore. Sex isn't the most important thing but we are nearly at 5 months again. It's the whole lack of passion and closeness that also is getting to me. I've never experienced it in the past so don't know how I should act with him. I have become incredibly withdrawn and as you say depressed. I think of nothing else but the fact I am NOT in a proper relationship. For those looking in on the outside it looks as though we are the perfect couple and all is amazing. But behind closed doors and deep down we sit on the sofa with him watching tv and me staring through it until it's time to go to bed. Of which I just turn my back and almost cry myself to sleep. I even work up crying in the middle of the night a few days ago. I am frightened to mention 'our relationship' to him as I have mentioned it so many times now. I don't want to feel as though I am nagging. So I just try to get through each day pretending to be the most perfect girlfriend. he knows that I am very very low - I have said as much. And I am sure he knows exactly why as we have been here before.... but he just doesn't do anything about it. I will see what relate can do for me. Thanks for your reply's - its comforting to get them as I do feel so alone.

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I love me - I am so sorry to read your story. You are right - It's a very similar situation. Well its now just a few days short of 18 weeks that we have had no sex at all. In fact - other than the odd kiss and not a passionate one at all he has come no where near me. I am so lonely and rejected with the lowest self asteem I have no idea what to do. I have now got to the stage where I try to block him out as it's easier to do that then deal with the hurt and rejection. It's taking over my life - I spend hours upon hours looking at internet sites to see why this is happening to me. I finally broke down and told my sister who just said to me that he's a good man and one that I have so much in common with that I should just put up with no sex. It's eating away at me 24 / 7. I even now have serious nightmares and wake up screaming. I know it's caused by the stress of what to do. We have so much in common other than this one MAJOR issue! There is no passion at all. He leaves for work in the morning giving me a kiss as if he's kissing his mother. And the same when her returns in the evening. He still tells me daily he loves me. I mutter I love you back if I can even get it out of my mouth. I am so low. We are away on holiday in a couple of weeks time but I doubt and in fact I know nothing will change. It will then be five months that he hasn't come anywhere near me. And dispite having talked about our complete void of sex life 5 months ago - it clearly was a completely wasted effort as nothing at all has changed. Actually - I feel worse. So he must be with me as we have horses and dogs together. We share a rented house so overall I am just the greatest housemate. And everyone asks why I wouldn't marry him!!!! Need I say anymore. So - do I stay with him because he is deep down a good man and we have what looks like from the outside an amazing life together OR do I cut my loses and leave him to his life of internet dating sites and porn. My heart hurts, my head hurts and right now I am feeling really kinda lost.

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Hi beingused it goes back to what I said to you last time that I thought he had a problem and he should seek some kind of help. I don't know your situtation on why you feel stuck in the relationship and I no you love him and everything but love yourself first!!!!! And if your felling withdrawn n u want to distance yourself just think bout this. Is this a healthy relationship?

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