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Help - My boyfriend doesn't want sex but constantly find him on internet dating sites ...

By November 11, 2010 - 6:22am

I really don't know what to do or how to even think anymore and desperate for advice. I am (was) a self confident girl. Have my own business, very sporty, tall, blonde, good looking. I've even been called the 'Trophey' Girlfriend! I have been with my boyfriend now for 2 years. We moved in together at the beginning of this year. Last year I caught him on internet dating sites and active with them. After a week of split up we got back together as he told me someone had stolen his internet identity and it wasn't him. (yeh right!) So we got back together of which since then I have found him on worldwidewives.com, adultfriendfinder.com, maritalfling.com - the list goes on. I confronted him about these again and told him to not question my intelligence and that if I ever catch him on these sites again I am off. This is only just one of the issues though as our sex life is pretty non existent. He doesn't have a sex drive with me at all however I have now found the largest porn collection and have now found out from the BT bill that whilst I was out working he was lying at home watching adult porn tv!!! The bt bill doesn't lie!!!! He tells me 50 times a day he loves me and that I am his angel however he comes no where near me - I mean no where!!! I feel as though I have turned into his house mate and the person that funds a lovely life style. I have talked to him on many occasion about our huge lack of sex life of which he will put out and then that is it. I am now monitoring it and IF I can get him to have sex he becomes a dot on my sasco wall planner at work!!! But other than this we have the perfect little life together. Just a life of NO sex and one that he wants to constantly look at it - Just not take part. I now have the lowest self esteem, no confidence and feel inept. Why? Help? Getting to the end now of what is a very short tether.

By November 15, 2010 - 3:41am

Hi - Thanks for your messages. Well another weekend passes and I have now just totted up that we have not had sex for now 4 weeks. In fact having just counted the dots on the sasco planner we have had sex 8 times the whole year!!! I love him but now feel stuck in a rut not knowing what to do. He's just not interested in sex at all. I have subsequently found out though that his previous 3 girlfriends left him for the same reason! So this tells me that it really is the way he is. He would rather look at it then take part. I have no idea now how many internet dating sites he may or may not be on. He still tells me constantly how much he loves me and he loves to cuddle all the time. He just doesn't want sex! So the dilmea now is what do I do?
I'm getting very withdrawn and distant from him and it's not easy just to get up and leave. I am kinda stuck!

November 15, 2010 - 3:41am
By November 11, 2010 - 1:49pm

Hi Beingused,
I'm sorry you have had to deal with this. What a way to find out what's important to you, right? I personally know people who have gotten divorced over similar situations. Please let us know if you need further support. I know it is never easy to know when to say "when."
Good luck,
Christine

November 11, 2010 - 1:49pm
By November 11, 2010 - 11:03am

Well it seem to me he has a problem a addicted problem there is such a dieses for that if you love him and he loves u the way he says he does ask he would he go see counseling for it if he doesn't and its as bad as u say it is just remember you have 1 life and that life should b filled with more happiness than anything!!!!!!!!

November 11, 2010 - 11:03am
By November 11, 2010 - 6:44am

Oh - And I'd just like to add that I do love him. And that we have already chatted about no sex. He always comes up with a really great excuse - Not enough time, tired, not feeling well etc.....
Just to also add - He has just come back from 2 weeks overseas in the States and having been away he's come back and not come anywhere near me - other than a kiss. But never ever a passionate kiss. But hey - for someone with no time to have a physical relationship with me he found the time to watch 4 porn programes on BT vision whilst I was at work. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

November 11, 2010 - 6:44am

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