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There Is No "I" In Mom!

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My first pregnancy was filled with anticipation of motherhood. Yes, I was nervous and unsure of the responsibilities that were ahead of me. Still, I couldn’t wait for my baby to be in my arms, instead of my belly.

The sacrifices began with my pregnancy and multiplied once the baby was born. From the foods and drinks that I consumed or avoided, to how I spent my time, my life was changing. I had more than just myself to consider.
Things I used to take for granted became “treats.” Frequent trips to the spa to have my hair and nails done were things I used to refer to as “maintenance.” These were now “indulgences” that I booked just a few times a year and could no longer do at the same time because it was impossible to leave my nursing baby for longer than two hours. In fact, I never even thought about getting my hair cut anymore. I was happy if I got the chance to wash it daily. And take time away from my baby to get my toenails polished? It was just great to be able to see my feet again. It was the beginning, only the beginning.

As my son started school, I became, “Ryan’s Mom.” I can still remember how proud I felt the first time I said it, “Hi! I’m Susan Schade, Ryan’s Mom.” It was like the first time I ever called my baby boy, “my son.” When I spoke those words, it warmed my heart. Yes, I had gained an identity but was it at the expense of losing one? After a while, I stopped even using my name with introductions. I felt like busy Moms have limited time to chat. “Ryan’s Mom” seemed to be enough information.
When you are a Mom, your time is not your own. You are dedicated to taking care of others and being sure that they have the things they need. You become a pro at multi-tasking. When I was making breakfast, I was also making lunches, unloading the dishwasher, and thinking about the other five things that I could get done before I left the house for school. There is little time to rest when you are constantly on the go with kids. I miss my free time but am sure that one day, it will be back.

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HERWriter Guide

Agree with all of the above! Me time is not a luxury, it's a necessity.

I put myself on the back burner continuously for a few years when I had my kids all in a row and it did no-one any favors because life was tough at times and quite isolating. I wasn't ignoring myself on purpose but caring for three babies pretty much ensured I got very little down time.

Now I have time to myself and I am a better person, wife, mother, human being. I'm happier and more content all round. And I'm not talking about taking off on vacation alone, just having a few hours every week to myself. I waited three years for it so it's all mine and I'm not giving it up! :)

November 25, 2009 - 1:27pm

Chase will be 10 months old this week and I haven't had my eyebrows done, nails done, or any kind of indulgence since he was 2 months old or prior than that. ::Sigh:: I am determined to get something done for myself soon-- luckily I do my own hair at home, so if nothing else, I'll style my hair and feel like a woman instead of a mom for a few days. LOL

I agree about taking time for ourselves. Some people see it as a luxury but darn it, we deserve it!

November 25, 2009 - 8:02am
EmpowHER Guest

Nice Susan. With this especially busy time coming up we all need to remember that taking a few moments for ourselves will enable us to be a better mother for our children, a better wife to our husband, and a sane shopper at the mall. Happy Thanksgiving.

November 25, 2009 - 7:30am
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.


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