Relationships & Family

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Relationships & Family Guide

Cary Cook BSN RN

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Honoring the Passing of a Quiet Life

By Jody Smith HERWriter
passing of a quiet life honored Photo Courtesy of Rob Harris

My mother passed away last week. It happened quickly, leaving the family stunned and in shock. It doesn't seem quite real yet.

We're glad for her that she didn't have to endure a long illness or live as an invalid, which are prospects she would have dreaded.

Islay Brown-Hodgkins lived a fairly quiet life that revolved around family, her kids, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, nieces, nephews, grand-nieces and grand-nephews. All of them that could make it descended on my little town this week.

Some drove as much as eight hours to attend the funeral. Two of my daughters flew halfway across the country to be here. Family members ranged from newborn to mid-eighties representing the Brown, Harris and Hodgkins clans.

Old friends from different eras of her life, from several generations, paid their respects. If I have inadvertently left anybody out, it's just that there are so many people and I have lost track.

We knew there would be many mourners, but we were taken by surprise by the numbers of people who flocked to the memorial service. The place was full to overflowing.

Not bad for a quiet life centered on family.

Mothers sometimes feel like their influence and importance is in the background of their children's lives. They hope to have made a deep impact on their families, but we all know there are so many other aspects to our children's lives, we hope not to be ultimately be lost in the shuffle.

We know we are just mom. And we hope that being mom will have lasting value to our children, and our children's children. We also know, this doesn't always happen, and only time will tell.

Family relationships can go through many changes over a lifetime. A relationship with one child may be rocky at one time, and become solid at a later point.

A child's understanding of their mom goes through many metamorphoses over a lifetime. Maybe at one point mom is a mainstay, taken for granted. Perhaps at another stage of things, she is a burr under the ol' saddle, thwarting some desires and impulses.

As our kids have their own kids, a new understanding of the trickiness of parenthood can arise for them.

We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

Add a Comment2 Comments

EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

WOW cuz!!! So well written Jody...so succinct, but hit all the pertinent areas as well....she would have been so embarrassed, but I think secretly inside quite thrilled, about all the fuss that was "all about her!!!". .... and she deserved every single bit of it! She was an incredible, kind, loving, wise, compassionate and empathetic woman to whom the word FAMILY was the mainstay of her life. However, being FAMILY and was not just biological definition, but rather a "heart" definition!
Hope you are doing ok today...love to you and yours! Congrats on the latest family changes in your life!!!!!

May 30, 2013 - 11:43am
Jody Smith HERWriter (reply to Anonymous)

Thank you.:)

 

Jody

May 30, 2013 - 12:21pm
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