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Immunity for Relationship Ups and Downs: Be an Emotional Genius

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Many women pride themselves on being emotionally intelligent and, I must admit, I am no exception. Experts agree that women, in general, are more emotionally astute than their male counterparts.

If you feel that you have a high emotional acuity...would you go as far as to say you are an emotional genius in your relationships?

One woman was fortunate enough to be raised by an emotional genius, and has shared her words of wisdom in the book, My Mother's Rules: A Practical Guide on Becoming an Emotional Genius. The author is an extremely well-known woman, and may be the guru of relationship advice, Judge Lynn Toler, host of the Divorce Court.

Judge Toler shares her childhood experiences as the daughter of a father unable to control his emotions due to mental illness, as well as her experiences working with women in unhealthy and abusive relationships. She believes emotional education is necessary for all healthy relationships, and shares tips she has learned for all of us to become “emotionally well-practiced.”

As women, we tend to manage everyone's emotions, and we're pretty good at it! As emotionally astute as we are, we still need to check-in with ourselves, and look for areas of improvement. How can we become emotional geniuses in our lives and relationships?

Learn to Lose
It is OK to lose. The object is not in “winning” at the relationship tug-of-war, but in finding out who you are, what types of people bring out the best in you, and knowing what you need in your life and relationships. The fight you have is with being your best: the best friend you can be, the best person you can be. You need to learn to lose, so that you can become emotionally stronger and not threatened that a particular person or situation is “causing” your low self-esteem.

Make an Effort
Books abound about how to be happy, how to pursue happiness. The fact is: sometimes you aren't going to be happy. You can learn lessons during frustration or sadness. You can try harder. You can run faster. Or, you can slow down and gain perspective.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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