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You have a thriving career--one that gives you financial independence, a sense of identity, acknowledges your contribution and rewards it with promotions and bonuses. You are a go-getter and consistently motivate and push your team to achieve goals. Yet the going gets tough when it comes to managing your 16-year-old daughter. Does this sound like you?
Urban mothers, whether working or stay at home mums, are getting increasingly ambitious for their daughters. In a way, the mother’s want the best for their growing daughters in times that are vastly different from their own and brutally competitive. However, often the driving in of positive ambition to your teen can be perceived as "pushy" by your daughter. This in turn can have negative outcomes to both the child and the mother-daughter relationship. Here are some pointers that may help you support your daughter in a positive way:
1. Try not to see your teen daughter as an extension of your own success.
You may be the driving force of your corporate team at work but children need a very different sort of handling. This is especially so because of two reasons – she is your child who will be a part of your life for all times, unlike a colleague or employee, and because you both are bound by blood and have already invested so much into a special biological relationship that already exists.
This may mean that your teen may be nothing like you. She may be easy going and yet able to score good grades or compete in school/college athletics. As per Dr. Maggie Atkinson, “The youngsters cite ambitious parents, as well as schools, as the source of the overwhelming pressure to achieve good marks and exam grades.” (Source: Mail Online U.K, Article Name: ‘Half of school pupils suffer from stress because of ambitious parents (... and schools)’; report by: Kate Loveys; Date: 7th January 2011; URL: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1344868/Half-school-pupils-suffer-exam-stress-ambitious-parents-schools-overwhelming-pressure.html). Remember, she is another human growing to be an adult and does not necessarily hold the same perspective on life as you do.