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A Mother's Advice: Do Daughters Need It?

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"With all due respect, I often compare the mother-daughter relationship to being on a roller coaster, the big, scary kind that you’re able to see from the next town over and whose passengers can be heard shrieking from miles away."

This is a quote from “Side by Side: The Revolutionary Mother-Daughter Program for Conflict-Free Communication” by Dr. Charles Sophy and Brown Kogen.

If you are lucky enough to have your mother in your life, you understand what the authors in the above quote are saying. Why is the mother-daughter relationship so daunting? Could it have anything to do with a mother's advice?

When you were a young adult and going out with the girls, the last thing you wanted to hear was: "Don't stay out late, don't drink too much, and stay away from shady-looking guys." In addition, you wanted to scream when she said, "When are you going to settle down and get married?"

After awhile, the partying got old and you finally found Mr. Right. Of course you wanted your mother's help with the wedding, right? Mama's lofty experience awarded her as being the "go-to" person when it came to the invitations, the center pieces, the reception, etc. Can weddings cause relationship issues between mother and daughter? You betcha.

While mother may believe she's an oracle of knowledge, she may forget what the wedding day is all about. Is it her daughter's happiness or the event all of mother's friends will talk about for the next decade? "You don't really want buffet style, do you? Do you really think the strapless gown is appropriate? Yes, we simply must invite your father's aunt from Poughkeepsie."

The wedding is over. Your new hubby has been offered a job in another state. After tearful good-byes, you move to your new home and begin to create a new life. Mother insists on chatting with you everyday. You wouldn't have it any other way.

In a few years, baby number one comes along. Mother takes a month family leave from her job and comes to help with the little one. You are elated and so appreciative.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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