Relationship expert Mike Lindstrom describes the top reasons a woman will cheat on her partner.
Why women cheat? Interesting subject. When we get into it, it’s not as physical as one may think. It’s actually more emotional. Guys are what we call, guys are physical cheaters; women are more emotional cheaters. Now again, that’s not a carte blanche rule of thumb but generally speaking, if you do the research women, when they are broken down and you could strip away the needs, what’s lacking, what’s not there, you start to get to the things that are more emotional in nature.
Now with men we talked about significance. That was a word that kept coming up; with women the word connection, love and connection - love and connection. Guys weren’t using those terms. Guys get connection through the feeling significance; women, it was different. When they felt the connection at the highest is when they felt like they wanted the intimacy with their partner. When they feel like there was lack of connection, almost as if maybe her man was withdrawn; he is working his butt off, you know he’s not at home very much – they don’t connect, and when they don’t feel like the connection they will find another vehicle to find that connection. It could be through their friendships with being around their girlfriends; it could be finding someone else in a relationship, whether it be an emotional, we call it an emotional partner – somebody who listens to that person, talk about their needs, you know a lot of times it could be a man that just listens and feels like they’re being a supportive friend while this person is going through this disconnect in their relationship. So it’s definitely different – physical and emotional is completely different to men and women.
Fantasy cheating with women wasn’t something that came up very much at all. It was always something that had to do with lack of something in their current relationship. Now what’s interesting is, even when we talked to the cheaters, both male and female, on both sides of the fence, you would hear the same things; “I love my partner. He [or she] is the best, great [mother or] father to our kids, a great friend. You know, we’ve been together for so long.” Everything was always so positive. They’d always go back to the partner or the friend or being a good parent, the honor and the respect of that element, but what was missing were things that, what was originally in the marriage – the dating.
You know, go on a date-night. Couples don’t do date nights. You do that when you are the courting phase. What happens after you get married? The sexual variety - things are always great in the beginning phases of the relationship or in the dating, but then as it started to go forward guess what happens? It starts to change.
So that’s one thing that was really intriguing to us was this whole concept of you would think that that would be something more; you would think that that desire, that fantasy, that thing that’s in your mind would be such a driver between a man or woman to cause them to breach the contract. I mean you are breaching trust when you go out there and you are cheating with someone, but it’s the lack of something within the relationship, even though the honor, the love, and the respect is still there.
About Mike Lindstrom:
Dan Lier & Mike Lindstrom have been coaching and speaking about success for a combined 30 years. Dan & Mike are well-respected success coaches and have studied the behavior between men and woman as it pertains to sex, love, communication, intimacy, loyalty and finding the partner of your dreams. As proud parents and loving partners, they are passionate about the relationship secrets set forth in "Dan & Mike’s Guide to Men". They have been featured on several media outlets including Fox News, ABC News, HLN, CNN and the Howard Stern Show.
Visit Mike Lindstrom at Ask Dan & Mike