Dr. Metz shares if women's sexual expectations are too demanding.
In my clinical experience I think women do not expect enough, that the culture teaches women that what sex is about is for them to be attractive, to be essential, to do the right things to turn a guy on. And that we talk about men having performance pressure and that that sometimes causes, for example, erection problems or a loss of desire.
But women have performance pressure, too, that’s to be sexy, to look like a model, to not have breasts that are becoming older and more droopy and that misses the point and I think for many women to realize that one’s own arousability is only a part or one’s own ability to arouse is only part of it but also her arousability.
So hopefully as couples grow older and have more kind of day-to-day regularity together, they are kind of blending those things and so it becomes more contended, more relaxed, less pressurized. And so for many women it’s to look and they even ask in general ways for the things that might be more sensuous like cuddling, like lying together, like telling stories, like having fun and being playful, having humor in the bedroom but often the problem is that the man may not be on the same page yet. But that’s one way that some women can lead their men to be finding more playful ways to enjoy their sexuality.
About Dr. Michael Metz, Ph.D.:
Dr. Michael Metz is a licensed psychologist, marital therapist, sex therapist, author, and frequent speaker. Dr. Metz specializes in working with couples and individuals at his private clinical practice in St. Paul, Minnesota and has helped thousands throughout his career.