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How To Make Sex Great Again

By Anonymous
 
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Cracking the problem of what holds the universe together seems relatively easy compared to the challenge of keeping sex good. Personally, I’ve had so many sex problems over the years that I thought that’s just the nature of sex. If only I’d had this book years ago: When Sex Isn’t Good, Stories and Solutions of Women with Sexual Dysfunction, by Lillian Arleque, Ed.D.; Sue W. Goldstein, A.B.; and Irwin Goldstein, M.D., Director of Sexual Medicine, Alvarado Hospital, San Diego, CA, Medical Consultant.

Whoever said relief comes from knowing you’re not alone was one smart cookie. Whoever said there’s a solution to every problem was even smarter. When Sex Isn’t Good delivers both, relief and solutions.

Authors Arleque and Goldstein present personal stories of women speaking in their own voice. They describe how their sex life got derailed and, in many cases, their relationship and self-esteem along with it.

There is the example of the near-suicidal Olivia who was diagnosed with Persistent Sexual Arousal syndrome at fifty.

“The throbbing in my genitals never stops,” Olivia writes. “I even have trouble reaching orgasm, despite the perpetual need.” Another woman, Leanne, describes wanting to cry all the time when menopause brought a lack of desire coupled with “excruciating pain” during intercourse. There are stories, too, of younger women who after childbirth experience only pain where there was once pleasure.

Often women find they solve one problem (depression) only to discover a new one (sexual dysfunction). This can happen in 15-70% of women taking anti-depressants.

Sadly, most doctors are either uncomfortable with the subject or unaware of management options. Women may find themselves traveling a long road of suffering and accusations of it’s “all in your head” before they get to a sexual medicine specialist, such as Dr Goldstein. In the meantime, sex problems can be the straw that breaks the Camel’s back in a significant relationship, bringing loss and emotional pain.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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