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Should You Schedule Time for Sex?

By HERWriter
 
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should you make a schedule for your sex life? iStockphoto/Thinkstock

Unfortunately, busy lives can take a toll on a couple’s sex life.

But many couples are able to keep the passion alive even after several years together and with kids in the picture.

How? They schedule sex.

Anthony Smith, deputy director of the Australian Research Center in Sex, said in the New York Times, “just as couples set aside time for meals, work and family activities, they should schedule time for sex.”

In fact, ABC News wrote, of the sexually active respondents in a Consumer Reports poll, 45 percent reported planning a time to have sex with their partners.

Dr. Laura Berman told Oprah.com, “it feels unromantic at first [to schedule sex] because we have the misconception that sex is supposed to happen spontaneously, which it does in the beginning of the relationship when your dopamine centers of the brain are firing and everything's new and you can't get enough of each other. But that doesn't work in a long-term relationship. If you wait for it to happen spontaneously, you're going to be waiting forever."

According to ABC News, prioritizing intimacy and scheduling time together can be very important to the longevity and health of a relationship.

"For couples in long-term relationships, planning a romantic interlude leads to a higher-quality, more enjoyable sexual experience," Victoria Zdrok Wilson, JD, PhD, who co-wrote The 30-Day Sex Solution told WomensDay.com.

WomensDay.com continued, instead of thinking of calendar sex as unromantic, view it instead as a delicious form of foreplay. Send each other anticipatory texts, plan what you’ll wear (or not), and so on.

Scheduling sex can also help if one partner typically wants sex more often than the other. AARP.com wrote that differences in desire are one of the main reasons couples consult sex therapists.

To resolve this, sex therapists often recommend scheduling sex dates.

Scheduled sex dates reassure the higher-desire partner that lovemaking will in fact take place. They reassure the lower-desire partner that it will occur only when scheduled.

Many are resistant to scheduling sex, said ABC News.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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