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Our home is next to the National Forest and we can simply walk through a gate in our perimeter fence to enjoy it, and enjoy it we do. Every day, twice a day, we take our dogs to this glorious ...

The Rocks of Overwhelm

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A friend of mine had just graduated from medical school. She was celebrating with a fellow student who had also just graduated, and they were at a nice restaurant. When it came to dessert, ...

Reduce Stress with Spontaneity

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It happens every year in late November: Orion appears in the early evening. What is Orion? It is generally accepted to be one of the most conspicuous and most easily recognized constellations ...

Use Familiarity to Breed Comfort

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A client (“Sue”) was recently telling me about how frustrating it had been taking care of her grandmother in her declining yeas. As she slowly descended into the abyss of dementia, her behavior ...

Someday This Will Be Funny

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It’s party season, and that means lots of socializing even with people you don’t normally spend much time with. Guess what? There’s usually a reason why some people aren’t high on your ...

Avoiding Unpleasant Conversations

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We live in the forests of the San Bernardino Mountains, and in 2003 we had a disaster on our hands in the form of dead trees -- 60,000 of them. This is a very serious problem. Drought and insects ...

Sharpen Yourself

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Every year the rain gutters must be cleaned before the winter storms. We have a lot of cedar and oak trees which are very messy in the fall. It’s amazing how much accumulates in a relatively ...

A Way Out of Overwhelm

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It’s a bird, it’s a plane, no ... It’s my sister! She came to the rescue this year by hosting Thanksgiving. Here’s the story... We have hosted our family Thanksgiving for the last 5 years or ...

The Thanksgiving That Wasn’t

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Do you know people who don't take care of their own needs because they are so busy taking care of other people's needs? Whether it's your spouse, boss, children, pets, friends etc., there is ...

No Time For Yourself? Baloney!

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My wife, Chris, and I visited Yosemite National Park last week. It’s a glorious place and Chris has memories from there all the way back to when she visited with her family when she was 10 years ...

Choose to Enjoy What You Can

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Picture this: you have actually forgotten your worries for the moment and you are having a good time at dinner with your friends. Everyone is laughing, the conversation is fun, and the food is ...

Stress Pop-ups

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No matter where you live, everybody has something to deal with. In the Midwest it’s tornadoes. On the east coast it’s hurricanes. In the north it is bitter cold. Here in the mountains of ...

Ramifications

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For no apparent reason, my wife started falling. And, when she fell, she couldn’t get up on her own. At first we simply attributed it to her general weakness, caused by ongoing oral ...

She Didn’t Break a Nail

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Last night we had dinner with a friend who was telling us about the birthday gift she bought for her hairdresser, Gretchen’s, infant son. She had it all wrapped and a card all ready to go but had ...

Sometimes You Have to Get Creative to Get What You Need

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There is a popular arcade game called “Whack-a-Mole” which consists of a number of holes cut out of a panel on the machine. You hold a mallet in your hand and push “start,” at which point “moles” ...

Is Your Life Like "Whack-a-Mole?"

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If you are serious about reducing your stress, these two-letter words spell an idea that will help you de-stress and, at the same time, make you healthier. The first one is “exer,” the second one ...

Two Four-Letter-Words That Mean “Stress Relief”

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We all know them: so-called friends who offer to help when you are in need, but don’t follow through. Or, they flat-out abandon you and don’t act like the friend they claim to be. They mean well ...

3 Things to Do When People Let You Down

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Hurricane Irene reminds us that despite our best efforts and best intentions, no one can accurately predict the future. Stuff happens that we don’t expect, no matter how “certain” we are, but no ...

Beware the Naysayers

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I’ll cut right to the chase. The best way to make your aches and pains permanent is to ignore them. That’s right ... “Ignore them.” Does your back hurt? Ignore it, and maybe that simple ...

How to Make Your Aches and Pains Permanent

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If you travel much then you may be aware of Chicago’s O’Hare airport. It is one of the busiest airports in the world because of its central location. It’s huge and a main hub of several ...

How To Improve Your Day with Information and Attitude

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Lily is a cat. A very independent cat. Lily just loves to be outside and chase the birds, squirrels, mice, lizards ... you name it. In fact, she has brought more than a few into the house to ...

How to Get What You Want

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We can learn a lot from horses; I sure did. Before my wife got me interested in them, I couldn’t even spell hoarse; now I am learning from them while learning about them. Today’s lesson was ...

Avoid Making a Problem Worse Than it Already is

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There’s just no getting around it; it’s stressful to be a caregiver. It doesn’t matter who you’re caring for or what their condition, the daily sacrifices, decisions, and situations take their ...

Four Words to Avoid a Lot of Caregiving Stress

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Sometimes you really need to talk to someone about your problems. Your friend, your spouse, your sister, your mother . . . sometimes, ANYone will do because you simply need to vent. But what do ...

Lower Your Stress by Talking to the Animals

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I realize that most of us have pretty high standards by any measure, and we strive to meet those standards every day. Whether it is the way we do the laundry or mow the lawn or do our job we want ...

How to Be Satisfied Even If it Isn’t Perfect

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We all get angry; it's natural and we’re entitled to be. It occurred to me, though, that we may not be angry for the reason it seems. For example, you get mad at the dog because he chewed up an ...

Do You Know Why You Get Angry? Maybe It’s Not What You Think

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I dare you--look behind your computer. My guess is that it’s a big, ugly, horrendous-looking jumble of wires. Looks complicated, doesn’t it? How could that possibly make sense to anyone? How ...

How to Take the 'Complicated' out of Complicated

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I’m not proud to admit it, but I heard this and immediately thought that the passenger was trying to stiff the cabbie; I’m sure it happens all the time. People shoplift and walk out of restaurants ...

Headline: “Cabbie Refuses to Drop Off Passenger Who Won’t Pay Fare” Really?

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Just last week I found myself considerably stressed about our household cash flow; a few large and unexpected bills arrived and I didn’t know if we would have the cash to pay them on time. After a ...

Lower Your Stress by Taking Control

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I was out in the horse area the other day “picking up” after our horse when I had a flash of inspiration. Most people look upon this as an unpleasant and menial task, so straightforward that a ...

How to Get Things Done with Less Frustration

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If you’re like I am, you’re almost always thinking about whatever is stressing you. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, your brain is always going. It doesn’t even matter if you ...

Some Ideas on Ideas

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A friend of mine recently had to make a difficult choice. Her son was having emotional/anxiety problems which was disruptive at school. With the school principal’s advice she hired a tutor to come ...

How to Start a Tornado of Self-Doubt

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We were in the doctor’s office to get the diagnosis following my wife’s first breast cancer surgery. We were told that, although they did remove the tumor, they weren’t able to get all of it so ...

The Big Secret of 5-Year Survival Rates

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Making mistakes can be very stressful. Just the fear of making mistakes can be very stressful. Here’s a concept: it’s good to make mistakes. That’s not a typo, folks, and I have not lost my ...

3 Reasons Why Mistakes are Good

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President Obama and comedian Seth Myers both took plenty of comedic potshots at high-profile people at the 2011 White House Correspondents’ dinner on April 30, 2011. It was all in good fun; after ...

How to Avoid Humiliation

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Interruptions. Argh. They are very stressful to those of us who are stressed anyway. Unexpected phone calls, children who need attention, the dog who needs to go out, the cat who needs to come ...

Taming the Interruption Beast

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My friend Laurie is a brilliant woman, a doctor in astrophysics, an astrophotographer published in National Geographic, and responsible for over 700 employees in a high-security technology ...

Feel Better Knowing That it Can Always be Worse

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I admit it; I’m addicted to Solitaire on my Android phone and iPad. There, I said it. Now let’s move on. The other day I was playing and suddenly remembered something my mother told me when she ...

A Stress Lesson from Solitaire

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Love him or hate him, Charlie Sheen has been everywhere lately and we can all benefit. How? By learning the lessons that his journey has given us. Granted, there are those who suggest that he is ...

3 Stress Lessons from Charlie Sheen: The Ugly, the Bad and the Good

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It’s hard to get started, and the pressure you feel is very stressful. “Getting started” could mean a lot of different things, so let me talk about a few of them. For one thing, getting started ...

Dave Balch commented on Dave Balch's post Stuck? Just Start!

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It’s hard to get started, and the pressure you feel is very stressful. “Getting started” could mean a lot of different things, so let me talk about a few of them. For one thing, getting started ...

Stuck? Just Start!

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Allow me to set the stage for my story. We live in Southern California so you might be surprised to hear that we got 18 inches of snow last night. (We live in the mountains at 6,000-foot ...

The Secret to Doing What You Have to Do Even When You Don’t Want To

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It has been less than a week since the March 11, 2011 drama and utter horror of Japan’s earthquake and tsunami. Our heads are full of terrifying images of floating homes and cars, piles of debris, ...

Two Important Lessons About Stress from the Tsunami Tragedy in Japan

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Catch-22 is a common term nowadays that comes from a famous novel by Joseph Heller, published in 1961. In case you aren’t familiar with it, a simple definition is this: a unique set of ...

The Catch-22s of Being a Good Family Caregiver

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If you or someone you care about is beginning a series of chemotherapy treatments, this is for you, and/or them. Chemo is the Big Kahuna of scary medical things, but it doesn’t have to be. On the ...

6 Tips for Your First Chemotherapy Adventure

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It recently occurred to me that we can generate a lot of unnecessary stress by placing too much importance on relatively minor events in our lives. During the gas crisis in the 70’s, and ...

Are Ordinary Events Too Important to You?

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If you have too much on your plate (which is just about every one of us), it’s sometimes downright impossible to find that happy face of yours. You know it’s in there, but it’s buried under the ...

Throw Some Cheerios--How Doing Something Spontaneous and Silly can Help Us Feel Better

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Raise your hand if you are stressed because people you care about are pulling you in too many different directions! Hmm… I thought so. A lot of you are! Your aging parents, your spouse, your ...

You Can’t Walk on the Moon--Learning to Say No

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I think that most people fall into one of two categories: givers and takers. The givers are those whose personalities guide them to doing for others, going out of their way to please, ...

Dave Balch commented on Dave Balch's post Are You a Giver or a Taker? Why Does it Matter?

4 comments

I think that most people fall into one of two categories: givers and takers. The givers are those whose personalities guide them to doing for others, going out of their way to please, ...

Dave Balch commented on Dave Balch's post Are You a Giver or a Taker? Why Does it Matter?