My boyfriend never wants to have sex with me. It's killing me.

I am also happy to see that I am not the only one. My problem is that I get very emotional when he denies sex. Been with the bf for 4.5 years, we both lost the v cards with each other. But, we did do it lots before and now, he tells me tomorrow we can have sex, the day comes... I'm too tired or I can't I need to wake up early. Tomorrow I promise. I only had sex twice within two months... I also try to talk to him about how I feel like stop saying you will but then you don't do it. I also ask him if he still finds me attractive and of course he says yes. I ask him why he doesn't want sex and then we get into an argument every time and then he pulls stop, you are not making me want to have sex with you... I'm like excuse me?? How can you say that when you haven't even tried to have sex. It is getting really hard for me when he denies, I think sex is important for a relationship and to me, it brings me closer to him emotionally. He doesn't understand that but I had already mentioned it to him plenty of times. I sometimes think if we should break up because of it, but I am not going to because I love him a lot and I know he's the one. But he's never sexually active which is frustrating for me.

This sounds familiar, I'm currently experiencing this problem with my boyfriend now and am very interested to read all of your stories. We've been together for 2 years now and are both young (he's 23 and I'm 20) but for some reason he just doesn't try ANYTHING sexual with me and I find myself always being the one trying! We still have sex 1-3 times a week but that's because I really have to try and feel like I'm forcing him and have a higher sex drive than him. The fact that I always have to try and get rejected so much makes me feel so unattractive and useless. I know he still watches porn behind my back which makes me feel completely redundant in the bedroom and hurts my feelings seeing as we live together and see eachother all the time. Whenever I do try with him he always makes the same old excuse of 'being tired' or 'having a bad back' to avoid sleeping with me. Much like all of you, I'm sick of having to deal with constant rejection! :(

I'm so glad to read this. It makes me feel like I'm not alone. We have sex but its like I have to make him. I tried tonight and he yelled my name and told me to stop touching him he was too tired. It makes me feel so bad because I have tried EVERYTHING to get him to notice me. After I tried tonight I asked him why we haven't done it and his excuse was " I always find you attractive and I always want you just not tonight." it honestly makes me feel like crap. I tried to explain how I felt and I couldn't hold the tears back. Then all the sudden he is snoring and asleep. When I try to wake him up he pretends asleep and ignores me. It makes me feel so unattractive and so unloved. It is not the same as it was 6 months ago. Its boring and you can tell he isn't even enjoying it.

So happy to see there are others like me... I have been with my boyfriend for more than 10 years & we have 2 kids... When we first started our relationship we had sex ALL THE TIME & it did not matter where we were because we had sex EVERYWHERE.... I would say the last 2 years has been difficult as we are not having as much as we use to... I always had a very high sexual appetite compared to him & i had felt in the past that he would struggle to keep up with me.... NOW? Theres not enough sex to even attempt to feel satisfied... Being denied everytime i touch him is killing me... I love him with all my heart but cannot deal with being in a sexless relationship.... We use to be so active & spontanious & now its "wam bam thank ya mam"... The sex lasts as long as it takes you to say that saying... Its been over 2 months & nothingggg & even that one time 2 months ago it was less than satisfying.... I kno its not that i am unnattractive as i get alot of attention from guys when i am out... Eventually i am going to go insane with my sexual drive... Not sure what to do anymore !

I'm so glad I found this. The most horrific part of this issue is feeling like there's something wrong with me, I feel like a big part of womanhood is being sexually attractive to men so it feels like if even the one who loves you isn't you're like failing at being a woman. My boyfriend and I were having sex and hanging out for two years before we finally got into a relationship. From the beginning he always had a lower sex drive than me, but I wouldn't say it was as much of an issue. Although I will say from early on he projected it onto me saying I'm a nympho and my sex drive is abnormally high and there's nothing wrong with him. The first few times we had sex were amazing, he was so into me and it went for ages. Everytime after that has generally been less than 5 mins but he'd always compensate for it by going down on me. Now I've reached breaking point. He forgets to have sex, I've heard the same excuses you've all heard a million times over, and I've brought it up with him periodically ever since. I really love him and were always affectionate but this is driving me crazy and making me feel horrible about myself. I too am looking in the mirror wondering what's wrong, I'm overweight and he wants me to lose weight but says he's still attracted to me no matter what. Just all feels like bullshit and everytime he rejects me I would cry, beat myself up about it and start a fight. Its gotten to a point now where I don't even care I just turn to the wall and cry and just wipe my face pretend nothings wrong. Reading all you ladies responses even though no ones got answers made me feel better, its horrible because today I reached my wits end and I broke up with him. I feel as a woman you should never have to go through that. I know he still watches porn too. I wanna find a man who wants me, he makes me feel inadequate and unwanted. I hope you ladies found a solution to your problem and I hope I work something out too, thank you for sharing your stories and letting me know I'm not alone. If you're reading this, this has happened to so many of us, but you're worth way more than what you're getting now. Do what's best for you, do what you want for yourself.

Same situation here. We've been together a little over 2 years, I'm 27 and he's 30. We haven't had sex in over a month and he says he's "been too stressed out about work", but this sucks! I love him but miss and crave that physical intimacy. When we do have sex, it's over almost before it begins and it's all about him. He doesn't make sure that I am physically pleased, and most times he doesn't orgasm either. Not sure where to go from here.

OMG, so happy I'm not alone! My boyfriend & I been together 5yrs and he treats me like I'm ugly or not attractive. I wonder am , I fat unattractive or is he just not into me anymore because he finds someone else attractive? It hurts ladies! I feel like everytime I say something about sex he changes the topic and talk about something all the way off track, or if I say lets have some wild fun he gets upset and says a 3sec nut isn't important is that all you do is talk about sex? The 5years we been together he only came on to me 2-3 times any other time its been ME. I only want him he is amazing in every way but lacks sex with me?

I have same problem. He acts extremely loving, but is not interested in sex, even though we used to have amazing sex twice a day. I wonder how much porn he watches. We have a wonderful relationship, except for that. I do not want a life without sex. I either need to find a side lover, which I don't want to do, or break up. No attempts to talk or fix this have helped.