My boyfriend never wants to have sex with me. It's killing me.

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years this month. I'm 28 and hes 31. We moved in together a few months back. When we first started having sex, it seemed like he had such an urge and desire for me. Fast forward a couple years later.. I'm lucky if we have sex twice a month. I try to initiate sex or make a joke about it so that he doesn't feel pressured, but I'm constantly getting shut down. If I
Try to plan sex bc we both have busy work schedules he says, "you can't plan these kind of things." Yet yesterday he made a comment about having sex with me today, and here I lie, next to his sleeping body without sex. I know he probably masturbates at least a couple times a week. I've tried talking to him and telling him how badly this hurts my
Feelings and makes me feel undesirable, but it always just goes back to this. We talk about marriage and having kids, but how am I going to even get pregnant with someone who barely wants to sleep with me? And why would I just want my body to be used as a baby making machine and not pleased? I am getting frustrated. I don't want to break up with him over this but sex is so important to me. He is a good man and cares for me otherwise. I just don't know what to do...

Before I met my boyfriend of now 4 years I was never into sex. I was always very indifferent towards it but I had never been familiar with sex then. When I met my boyfriend it was like a whirlwind because, with him, I found myself actually attracted and willing, wanting, to have sex. In the first few months we had sex constantly, always initiated by him. But after those months sex stopped all together. He had bruised himself in a household accident and I thought "well, it makes sense that he wouldn't want sex now because he's in pain" So I tried to be attentive and caring. But it's been four years now. And he's healed. And we've maybe had sex 4 times maybe 1 of those time initiated by him. I get turned down constantly and when I do ask for sex (which is starting to get embarrassing) he only does foreplay. He always has seen excuse and I want to believe him but he still watches porn (from what I've seen from snooping) . I'm young, just turning 23 and I wonder if wasting my youth? I love him but the caring I had for him and the passion has gone. Whenever I bring up the problem with him he gets very defensive and even blames me. He's apologized but it's hard to forgive. I've never been in another relationship before and I'm nervous to throw it all away.

I've been going through the same thing with my boyfriend ever since I hit my 2nd trimester with our daughter (who is 10 months now) it eats me up inside everyday. He tells me all I care about is sex and that sex doesn't matter in a relationship. I strongly disagree. I know he loves. And wants to spend hours with me. But it kills me and he doesn't care about sex WHATSOEVER anymore. The first few months of our relationship, sex was a nightly thing. It's completely different now. He won't even talk about it with me and gets angry when I try to have about a mature discussion about it

I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 36 when we first started seeing each other he would get hard if I even came near him. He lived 45 mins from me and would drive to come have sex with me on his lunch breaks. I moved closer and the sex has almost completely stopped. We have been seeing each other a little over a year. Honestly it started about 3 months in so I always gave him blow jobs to at least keep him pleased... but I stopped in hopes he would miss them or me and come on to me but it didn't work at all. He has Not came onto me in MONTHS and we have only had sex maybe a total of 15 times in a 14 months. I can't say I know he loves me bc he has never told me. But I basically live with him and he works from home. There is no way he's sleeping with someone else.

Hi!
I am having similar issues. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now, and he has so many great qualities (respectful, honest, stable), however, he has trouble showing me affection. I was in a previous relationship for almost 8 years with a man who showed me so much passion and love, however, it did not work out due to other issues. I feel that the lack of affection and sex in my current relationship is definitely taking a toll on my self esteem, because i am always the one to initiate sex and affection. 90% of the time I am the one asking for a kiss or asking for sex, and my boyfriend seems disgusted and turned off. He also says that he "is not in the mood" and it makes me feel rejected and unwanted. I am not used to this because my ex boyfriend was very sexual and showed affection all of the time. I love the guy I am with now, and I know that he loves me also, but I need him to be more sexually intimate and affectionate. We have spoken about this issue but he says I am being too sensitive. I hate having to be the one to constantly initiate sex! He is the man! He should be jumping my bones! Like I said, he has great qualities, but I just need more from him. Do I see if he can change or find a new man? Helppp please

He probably is desentized by sex .
Make him go a couple of weeks with out porn.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. We are both 29.In the first month we had sex every day, it was passionate and sensual, it was amazing. I felt i was the luckiest girl in the world. He was always complimenting me, holding my hand and cuddling me. It was perfect !
But as time went by, things started to slow down a bit. there is no more affection, i have to beg to have sex, and i always initiate it. My boyfriend doesn't show any affection, i need to ask him for a kiss. a little kiss once a day. I feel worthless and lonely. sometimes i just test him, how many days will he realize we haven't kissed... i gave up after 3 days and told him we haven't kissed in 3 days ! i did not get any reaction from him. Sometimes i just want a big passionate kiss to feel those butterflies inside of me. he always comes up with an excuse not to kiss me like that.
When he agrees to have sex it should be on the bed with light off before going to sleep. i tried initiating new places we could do it (sofa or shower) always go NO for an answer.
I love my boyfriend to death, he is the love of my life and i want this to work between us.
He says i have mental problems because i always want to make love! i cannot be sorry for wanting sex from the person i love. i tried sexy clothing ,i tried dirty talking i tried everything and he thinks i am crazy. I just want his attention. I just want him to want me.
Making love to him makes me closer and i feel the bond we have together. Now i feel it's like a chore for him to make love to me.
I feel ugly, sad, lonely, unwanted, old, unattractive and i feel i am living with a friend not a lover.