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Pain During Attempt at Sex

By Anonymous May 31, 2017 - 12:37pm
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Not sure why but everytime I try to have sex with my boyfriend, it is far too painful. I've read a few girls have said it took them a few times for the pain to stop when they had intercourse, while the lucky most said it was just mild discomfort before they were pain-free.

*Note: my first gyno visit, I received an exam (not sure what kind exactly) but I was a virgin and I know it involved a speculum. It hurt/burned INTENSELY, felt almost traumatic.

So.. the first time I tried sex it was without a condom, he was able to go in a little less than halfway, but it hurt/stung too much, feeling quit similar to the exam except he didn't force his way in there, which it probably would've felt that way if he did. We stopped.

The second time we tried, it was without a condom again, it was the same thing, less than halfway. We tried with a condom after, and he managed to go in quite a bit with less pain than before but it kept slipping out, so we tried again without the condom, and this time it went in what felt like all the way (albeit with pain and stinging in each push) but it hurt still so we had to stop again.

I didn't try after that anymore, but felt completely defeated and frustrated. It seemed like it felt easier with the lubed condom, but I can't even tell if it's able to go in all the way due to the fact that it kept slipping out. Otherwise, it hurts like hell. Could it be because I need lube? I am currently on birth control and I feel as though it's brought my sex drive a bit down, as well as makes me more dry, which is sort of a paradox since it protects against pregnancy yet makes me feel less aroused.

I've also read about vaginismus, which is another terrifying possibility, but I have no psychological nor physiological issues that could've caused it, and I've heard when one attempts intercourse, the vagina closes, causing the penis to "hit a wall" but my vagina did not close during the exam nor during intercouse so I'm unsure if it's that.

I suppose I am just wondering if it could be because I need more lube, vaginismus, or an unusual hymen.. I plan to try another time, and if it seems to be the same, I'm going to make another visit to my gynecologist, but I'd still like some insight.

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Hello Anonymous,

Welcome to EmpowHER. I am glad you reached out to our community.

Try spending more time at foreplay. Engage in a relaxing romantic atmosphere before getting into intercourse. Maybe, more lubrication is necessary.


May 31, 2017 - 12:50pm
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