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What happened to my boyfriends sex drive?

By Anonymous January 7, 2011 - 7:51am
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Hello, I was just wondering if you might be able to answer a question about my boyfriend. We have been together for a little over 4 years, and he is12 years my senior (39). He just changed his careeer from Wall Street Stock Broker to Chef, I know its a strange change but he has always wanted to be a Chef. He went from office work to physical work, sitting all day (8hrs) to standing all day (11hrs), he went from making 250K to making 75K, and we went from NYC to suburbia NJ. Are these the reason we went from having sex at least once a day, everyday for years to once a week maybe? He also has diabettes, but he has not changed his insulin or anything. And perhaps my biggest worry, i went from a 105lbs to 140lbs (cause I got clean, which he begged me to do, and now i'm eating normal) I just am wondering if I should be worried, cause I am.

Thank You,

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Hi Anonymous,
Thank you for your question and for finding EmpowHER. You and your partner no doubt have been through a lot recently. Your intimate relationship can get lost in the shuffle when you're trying to focus on other things. The great thing about sex is that you can get it back with some work. Are you and your partner intimate in other ways? What in your relationship is good? Focus on that for a while, and see if the sex returns naturally. In regard to your weight gain, you can work on that too. There are some great articles on EmpowHER to help with both creating more communication and intimacy with your partner, and also about taking care of yourself
Additionally, consider this--
Just as every relationship is unique, so are the reasons or causes behind your partner's choices in his behavior towards you. We have compiled the “best responses” received from both men and women in regards to your specific question, and hope you read through them thoughtfully. Women have been going through the same struggles, and have shared their insight and lessons learned. Men have also shared why they did not want to have sex in their strained relationships. Please let us know what “words of wisdom” or “tips” resonate with you from the following articles:

Helpful Relationship and Sex Articles:

Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

January 7, 2011 - 9:15am
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