What is "normal" when it comes to vagina (hymen) size?

Anon,

The hymen is a very thin piece of tissue; it's possible that it might have broken if enough pressure was put on it (even without penetration). It's also possible that you're spotting and it's just a coincidence.

i was intimate with my bf that day but he didnt penetrate, but my private part was sore and i found 2 little blood stains on d bed sheet i m just curious where does there 2 little blood stain coming from and can it be my hymen has already broken?i am still a virgin

I have found that we all can adjust or grow easilty.
I too had trouble getting a second finger in at first.
When I first had intercours with my husband I was scared to death as he is a huge man 6-7 250lbs and has a 10" penis thicker than my wrist. I found that when I lost my virginity to him I had no pain and was suddenly able to take all of it
Liz

Dear Anon,
I think you have been given some good information here. It is absolutely normal to be a virgin and not be able to fit more than a finger inside of you-- pain when doing so is normal too!
At this point it is probably hard for you to imagine how you could possibly have pleasurable sex when a finger barely fits (I have been there--I know!) Well, without getting too graphic, I also wondered how I was going to give birth to a child and I did it :)
Don't worry too much about the size, every woman was created differently.
I can tell you that the first time I tried using a tampon, I was extremely uncomfortable. I didn't do it right because I wasn't relaxed (and I had already lost my virginity). Good Luck to you, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.

Okay, thanks guys, nice to know I'm relatively normal. I am actually already on birth control pills, and my boyfriend warned me when I went to the doctor's to get them that they might want to examine me. My mother, however, scoffed at this - it seems that it is more of an american thing (I'm Aussie). In any case, the pills are for period pain, not birth control (they are thus a low dosage, should I get the dosage changed before I marry?)
I still think I'm on the smaller side of "normal" though, one finger (or the tippy tips of two) is all I can fit, ever. Lubricated just makes it a lot easier. And shh because we're supposed to be behaving, but the largest width I've managed is my boyfriend's finger, once. Since then he hasn't been able to do it without it hurting me, which I blame on buried guilt over the matter. Plus, I'm extraordinarily paranoid about getting pregnant, which surely doesn't help. So yeah, I know all about relaxing being necessary, and am not too optimistic about my chances at a pain-free first time.

I understand it is important to you to remain a virgin until after you have had sex. However, your virginity and your hymen have very little to do with one another.
Frankly, if you are worried about your hymen, I'd go to the doctor and have them just remove it. Obviously, the great benefit is that your first time could be pleasurable without a fear of ripping a piece of your body. Also, as I am sure you know, many women have already broken their hymens through various activities as kids - horseback riding, falling, etc. Obviously, these women are still virgins.
By all means, don't let a little piece of skin dictate how you feel about your virginity, and certainly don't let it ruin your first time!

Every woman is different.

When I was a virgin I could only fit one finger (ring size 5.5) inside me unless I was incredibly lubricated (and sometimes that was hard). Now, I can still only fit one finger inside me unless really lubricated.

I do not know if it will be the same with you or not, but I have pain upon entry localized at my perineum. So far, this has happened every time he goes in and is sore when touched for a few days afterwards. However, this is not a hymen issue. I just have to get that little area desensitized (so it stretches easier or something, I don't know).

Tampons are still difficult to put in, but they get easier as you learn your body a little better.

It did hurt my perineum, but felt great once he was in.
**Being scared will make you tighten up more and increase the likelihood your first time will hurt. If you are not ready, don't do it.
**You need to be VERY lubricated, his penis will be thicker than your finger, and will stretch those vagina walls.
It's likely you may be sore (my vaginal canal wasn't after he was out and even the perineum didn't hurt if nothing was touching it). *Remember, those walls are made to stretch! but take your time and don't keep going if it hurts too much.

I'm not sure if I answered your question at all, but I wish you good luck and a pleasant experience.

Hi, Anon, and welcome to Empowher!

It's common for the opening in the hymen to be just the size of one finger. Here's a page from the Palo Alto Medical Foundation that discusses the hymen. It says it's even common for a small tampon to be uncomfortable when the hymen is still intact:

http://www.pamf.org/teen/health/femalehealth/hymen.html

You should know that it is possible to have a pap smear when you are still a virgin. Women who are virgins but who want to go on birth control before they have sex for the first time need to have a pap smear; the doctor uses a small speculum for this. You can talk with your doctor ahead of time if going on birth control is something you'd like to do (because you can get pregnant on the first time!)

It is common to have a little pain and a little bleeding when you have intercourse for the first time. But both tend to go away relatively quickly, and some women have no discomfort at all.

Here's a page from Discovery Health about the hymen:

http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/sexpedia/hymen.html

There are a few women who do have trouble with their hymens not breaking easily when they try to have intercourse for the first time. Other women have hymens that actually stretch to accomodate the penis but do not break. So there are some cases where it is surgically broken, called a hymenectomy. However, this is in a minority of cases, and is outpatient surgery when necessary.

When you do try to have sex, you may want to use a lubricant, like KY Jelly. And it's true, what they say about being stressed -- if all your muscles are tightened up and you are just worried about what will happen, it will be a different experience than it will if you can relax, go slowly and be patient with yourself.

Take care, and let us know if we can find you more information.