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Why can't I get wet or have any sexually desire??

By Anonymous October 7, 2015 - 8:23am
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This is a huge problem with me right now.. I don't know why I can't get wet during intercourse. My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now and I have never got wet.. It becoming more of a problem! I have orgasms but nothing comes with it like it's still dry beside the lubrication we use! I don't know what to do anymore

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I have a similar situation to that. '
I'm married, love my husband, especially since he has a new haircut, I am super attracted to him. He would have sex every night if he wasn't working, but, because he is too tired sometimes, we usually have sex every other night, twice.
First time is very short, the second, since it's more difficult for him to climax, it lasts too long for me, and I get distracted in the mean time, and get drier. Since we're trying to have kids, the second time is much better after he ejaculates inside me, obvy. But the first time, especially if it's the next night, I mean, if we've had sex the previous night, it's just so impossible for me to get wet (and I also think, I might be wrong, that when you feel aroused, the vaginal canal gets wider). I also notice that I'm tight down there. Sometimes, if we've argued that night, unless we talk about our problems, I don't want to be touched, but that's his way of saying I'm sorry, let's be Ok again. He initiates sex.
I want to ask specifically about the after effect of having sex while your body refuses or is not ready. I feel sore down there, I don't wanna touch it, let alone have sex. I don't wanna drink anything, because there's a slight pain while urinating, and I'm in the middle of healing from cervical inflammation. The gynecologist said my cervix is fine, since I did take some medication. When I talked to her about my pain, she gave me a cream that I used, and it feels even more inflammed. I feel like there's a big difference from the burning sensation an the soreness. It doesn't feel like I wanna scratch it, it doesn't feel inflammed (originaly, before using the cream), it feels sore, tired, it feels like it wants to be left alone until it heals.
I am making this long explanation of my situation, because these are not things I can tell my gyno, and she would understand, since I live in a foreign country, and there's a language barrier. So, it feels like my vaginal canal is sore, tired, put off from any activity, touching, I don't even want to use the bathroom, I just wanna lie down all day. Can somebody please help?! Please!

November 10, 2015 - 5:45pm

Hello Anonymous,

Welcome to EmpowHER and thank you for coming to us with your concern about lack of vaginal lubrication and low libido.

Vagina atrophy also called atrophic vaginitis, is thinning, drying and inflammation of the vaginal walls due to your body having less estrogen. Vaginal atrophy occurs most often after menopause, but it can also develop during breast-feeding or at any other time your body's estrogen production declines.

Decreased vaginal lubrication during sexual activity is one symptom.

Since you are not satisfied with the results from over-the-counter lubricants, please consider scheduling an appointment with your gynecologist. Topical or oral estrogen is an option to consider.

If you have a persistent or recurrent lack of interest in sex that causes you personal distress, you may have hypoactive sexual desire disorder, also referred to as female sexual interest/arousal disorder.

A wide range of illnesses, physical changes and medications can cause a low sex drive, such as pain during intercourse, medical conditions including diabetes and hypertension, lifestyle habits such as smoking, and hormonal changes typical of perimenopause.

Anonymous, it is important to identify the causes of both of these sexual issues. With a cause, treatment options are available.


October 7, 2015 - 8:56am
(reply to Maryann Gromisch RN)

Thank you I will look it to all of that. I just feel like I'm young I should have all the sex desire and everything but I've never experienced any of it before.. And it just really embarrassing for me. But thank you once again

October 7, 2015 - 9:11am
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