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Why cant I have an orgasm?

By March 19, 2009 - 8:28am
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I am 18 yrs old and just recently lost my viginity. We have had sex three more times but for some reason I cant have an orgasm. My boyfriend feels as though it is something that he is doing or isn't doing but I dont think that is the case. I am very attracted to him and I am in the mood but when it comes to actually feeling an orgasm, it just doesn't happen. Am I doing something wrong?

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Don't rush. You're discovering your body and everything is new. Just enjoy yourself and learn which "buttons" stimulate you.

October 6, 2009 - 1:49am
EmpowHER Guest

I couldn't have orgasms until I tried Sentia pills which increase women's libido and make women able to feel orgasms. Highly advise trying this supplement if you really have problems in reaching orgasms.

August 31, 2009 - 11:57am
EmpowHER Guest

Hi Alysec,
I agree with Rylons that you are young and it does take time. I lost my virginity when I was 17 and I didn't orgasm straight away it took about 4 months before it did. Try not to be so hard on yourself so soon, it is all still new to you and you will need time to find out what works for you. If you find that you haven't had an orgasm even after awhile and you are really worried about it, there are a few things that you could try. One thing you can try is a stimulating cream for women you can buy at any adult shop, I have used it and it has worked wonders for me. Another is a power bullet, It is a small vibrator that you can use by placing it on your clitorus during sex, it will stimulate your clitorus so you to reach an orgasm. It will definately work. I had trouble reaching orgasm after having my 2 children and after 5years of not having one orgasm I decided I needed to do something and both of these things worked great. I hope you find what works for you.


April 8, 2009 - 9:55pm
EmpowHER Guest

You ever get that feeling like ya gotta pee? I once read an article about squirting and I wanted to try it but i didn't want to accidently pee on him, and I wanted to practice so I went to the restroom first, and then tried it with a vibrator. While you're being penetrated, just try to flex that muscle you flex when you pee, and you just might get a great orgasm. I consulted my girlfriends about this and they said intercourse orgasms feel slightly different from masturbatory orgasms

March 22, 2009 - 5:07pm

Hi alysec,

I agree with rlyons, that these things take time...sex and orgasms do not necessarily come to us naturally; they are learned behaviors...and take time, patience and practice. I have a question for you: are you able to have an orgasm when you are alone? If not, it really does take practice to get to know your body, before you can "instruct" or "guide" another person.

Here are some resources from Empowher for you regarding this topic. These women are in all different phases of their life, so some of the information may or may not apply. Please read through them, and let us know if you have any additional questions!

- Why Can't I Reach Orgasm?
- Orgasm
- Don't Understand Why I Can't Orgasm
- I Can't Reach Orgasm, What Can I Do About It?
- Orgasm Frustration

March 19, 2009 - 12:01pm

Give yourself a break...you are new at this! It took me YEARS to learn how to move to best position myself for an orgasm with intercourse! Have you tried being on top? This is the best method for most women to orgasm through intercourse...and you really have to move yourself to hit the spot....it's kind of true that you are responsible for your own orgasm...well....it's a combined effort but it's no one's FAULT if you can't come. You kind of have to push down and forward a bit to hit the sweet spot.
Try not to stress....this will only make it harder to orgasm. It's important to relax , take it slowly and go with the flow. It shouldn't be work.
It will happen...like I said, it took me years....it takes some time and effort to get "good" at sex. LOL

March 19, 2009 - 10:11am
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