Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

Does anyone else think that Cosmo and other similar magazines have a lot to answer for? I remember reading all those articles and advice columns that told us if we weren't in the mood that we should just 'go with it' and maybe we'll start to enjoy it. Now, we're all getting complexes if a man isn't in the mood. Crazy isn't it!! I wonder if men ever wrote into their mags saying that 'she always wants it, but I'm just not in the mood' and I would love to read the advice they got. Just a thought.

Hey Anonymous - I so feel your pain. I am also 28 and he is 32 and we have no children and live in a lovely house. But maybe something is missing, the sex certainly is! Christine J seems to have some sound advice. I think just writing down how I was feeling and not being judged has helped a lot. When I did that and read it back to myself I did start to assess our relationship and why we're together. I remember that we have the same sense of off the wall humour. We like some of the same things too. I'm in awe of his intelligence, although sometimes this can make him quite arrogant too. I confronted him today about his job situation and the first thing he said was that he wanted to quit his job and leave the country. A little dramatic, I know. So we spoke about what he could do and he seems to have perked up a bit. I won't be jumping him tonight, but as we lay together in bed I'll think about those other things that make me so in love with him. The sex can be worked on once he's in a better frame of mind to confront it. Right now it seems that he is focused on work stuff. Saying that, I do wonder about our compatibility in bed, I do find myself thinking about other people and have jokingly suggested having an 'open' relationship. But I'm too much of a jealous person to share. This is really helping me though, just to get it out there is really helping, especially knowing I'm not the only one. I hope everybody else on here is finding some peace in our common war.

actually girl i am goin through the same thing but im older one but we are very much alike in the same way attitude the same and personalities but anyways idk i need to have it like all the time it seems like everything we been together for over a year and our sex decreased as well and i didnt know why but my boyfriend told me why we dont as much anymore cause he is busy and dont really have anywhere to do it at (we dont have our own place yet) but im sure something like this has gone down were your really really horny and want it so bad and you kinda expect it to go down but he doesnt want to or it just doesnt end up happening and you get mad well getting mad doesnt solve anything i found out the hard way what you need to do is actually sit down and talk to him what i had to do idk why us girls have to do it but we do sit down talk to him and see when hes not busy and when he is so you cant brace yourself the day you can do it with him and the days hes busy that you know of you wont be as upset and it seems that you to be

Is crazy how many of us have the same situation, is really sad and depressing, well thats how I fell now. Is so nice to have some body that desire you and want you, not just to give you good kises and tell you how beautifull you are, the passion is a compliment of a cople I think. Im the same of most of the stories here, prety, sweet, I do anything for him, I try to be sexy and eaven dress sexy in the house just for him, nothing works. I love him but it makke me fell this situation so bad about my self. I know he love me and dont cheat on me, so what I think is that he is just boring to be with the same person but he love so much that he cant acepted or dont want to lose me. And when we do it generally he dont eaven care of me, is like just to do something and get it out of the way. I just wish it will be like the firsth months we was togueter... Ho well I was thinking to lieve for a wile so maybe he desaire me again, but he never will acepted. Ho well is so ironic, firsth they wanted so much and when they haved then they dont care... Is just sad we are 28 and he 32, no kids, live in a beautiful place and I work from home, he knows im just for him and I will do anything... But well will see what happen...

Please can someone help me! Ive been with my man 5 years, and last april when he asked me to marry him was the greatest day of my life. We decided to rent a flat together and during the run up to moving in he started being off with me. He was saying sly remarks, refusing to kiss and cuddle me- never mind sex! We moved in at the begginin of sept and the first week was amazin! He went back to his old loving self!! But ever since then hes gone cold again! Ive tried to speak to him nicely about it but he goes off on one saying im never happy with what i have and i always want more, but i dont think a kiss or a cuddle a day is really asking for a lot! We're surpose to be getting married next summer, but no matter how much i love him, i just cant commit to spending the rest of my life so lonely, unwanted and unappreciated! Please can someone help me to save my relationship!!?

I feel exact same i love my boyfriend so much but im so hurt and feel so depressed iv tried to tell him how much its affecting me but its like he doesnt even care. We fight about it all the time about it and he agrees that it needs to change but yet does nothing about it. Constant excuses all the time just feel so lonely and makes me feel so bad about myself my self asteem is at the lowest point now. Makes me feel like i repulse him or something but i cant be the worst person because i get attention off other men, but it just makes me feel worse because im not interested i only want to be with the man i love. Feel so unappreciated and unloved just wish he would wake up and realise what we have.

Hi, this site is making me rise from my loneliness and despair. I really did feel like everybody in the world in a loving relationship was having frequent good sex and that I was the exception. I love my boyf so much but the lack of sex is making me wonder what I will do next. I have NEVER had a boyf that didn't want to have sex with me, and not just sex but all the other stuff too. I love the build up if you know what I mean. But with this one we started off having sex 3/4 times a week. Then we moved in together and it pretty much stayed like that for a while. Then it went down to once a week after we'd been together for a year. And now I'd be lucky to get anything every 6 weeks. We've been together for 18months now and I keep trying to talk to him about it but he just says he's not in the mood or he's stressed about work. I can't talk to my friends about it as its too embrassing, especially as they know what my previous relationships have been like, they also know that sex is a big deal for me so might encourage me to take drastic actions. When we do have sex he's so selfish and doesn't check if I'm enjoying it too, he just does his thing and that also upsets me. It seems like he needs to be intoxicated on alcohol or for me to have something kinky on (he's into BDSM) to even stir any kind of sexual feelings for him. Like someone else said, I want him to WANT me and want me to enjoy having sex with him. I think it would be harsh to leave him for this, but I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Just bigger gaps between mediocre sex with him. What do I do??