Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

My situation is a little different, we've only been together for 4 months, and we'd have sex 1-3 a week (we have conflicting schedules, and even when we fix them they're still kind of conflicting). He got a new job in August, in which he surveys piplines in the wilderness, and he's gone for weeks on end. He can work 10-14 hour days, walking through all sorts of wilderness (forrests, swamps, even farms, etc). We didn't have sex the last few days before he left because I was getting sick. This last time he was gone for 5 weeks (the longest), this trip was rough for me. He's more independent than I am, and so he wouldn't call/text very often. We got in a small fight, because he said he didn't miss me because he was so busy with work. Regardless of the fight, I asked him to pay a little more attention to me, and he did exactly that, more phone calls, texts, even online chatting. It made me feel a lot better (even though he didn't miss me). He's home now, he came over for a little bit last night (I was writing a paper), and I ran to the store with him to get something. As he dropped me off (he was going to visit his uncle, and I was going to finish my paper), we chatted, and I joked about "sexy-time," he said, "I just want to tell you, I don't have the same drive anymore...I don't know why?" I think I'm only the 2nd or 3rd girl he's ever been with, and he's only 19 (isn't that a guys prime?). He also said "I hope that didn't hurt your feelings...maybe I'm maturing?" Then he asked when I worked this weekend, and we made plans to meet up, and plans for Tuesday. At first I was fine with it, but then when I remembered reading in a magazine, that if the sex stops, then they're most likely cheating. That threw me for a loop, and I am an extremely paranoid person. So now, here I am. I've come up with several possible reasons: (we'll get the hard one out of way) 1. He's cheating. 2. He's bored with what we do(He's only the 2nd person I've been with, so I'm not that experienced) 3. He and I both abstane from sex when we're not in relationships, and maybe his libido has gone down during those 5 weeks, since he's traveling and I'm not around. Also he's with a bunch of guys in hotel rooms so probably doesn't have much privacy to masturbate. 4. Maybe he is maturing? Cares more about the relationship than sex? 5. Perhaps the afterglow of the "new relationship feeling" is gone and he's just not as horny.
I do feel that he does care about me, otherwise he wouldn't have put much effort into making me feel better, or even make plans to see me while he's home. Also I know it's not my weight, I've lost 10 pounds since we've been together.
I'm freaking out a little. I hope it's anything but the first one.
Any thoughts?
-Traveling BF

Dear woman,
For some reason, my posts keep getting removed from the server, perhaps moderators don’t want people to be truly helped on this site, but I am determined to help you find a solution to your problem. First of all, I would like to congratulate you for caring enough about your boyfriend to love him and remain with him even though he is refusing to have sex with you. Not many women out there would stand by their man and admit their love for him when he has lost interest in them sexually. Perhaps there is something about him beyond the sexual satisfaction he can give you that convinces you to remain with him. Maybe you see something in his heart that makes you want to not let go of him. The question that needs to be addressed is whether or not he truly loves you for who you are, or he just regards you as a sexual plaything that he has become bored with, and now he wants another sexual plaything to fill his days with pleasure. Well, before maybe you just had guesses for what might be going on. But I’ll tell you this much, it’s not diet, exercise, other things going on in his life, or any of the typical responses you might get. There is something fundamentally changing in the nature of your relationship, and it has to do with the way he perceives you in his mind. If he truly loves you, he may just not know how to show it. So it is your job to walk him step by step, and help him understand what it feels like to be you. Tell him the thoughts of your heart. Tell him you love him even though he has stopped having sex with you, but you want to be sure that he loves you too. If you find out that he does not truly love you, you will know deep down that you are wasting your time with him. The relationship is doomed to fall apart if the love is not genuine. So how do you know if he genuinely loves you, or he is growing bored of you? Well, how would you know that his love for you is true? Suppose he walked up to you one day, looked you in the eye, and said to you, “Honey, I know I’ve been distant lately. There’s some things I’ve been struggling with inside myself. But I want you to know that I love you and I care about you so much. And then he wraps his arms arounds you and holds you for a few minutes, stroking your hair gently, all the while whispering sweet declarations of his love for you in your ear, tell you that you are the princess of his heart, or his fairy girl, or whatever sweet statement you’d love to hear. After that would you know his love for you is real? Pretty much. So you’ve gotta put him to a test. And I know this will be tough for you to do, but if you don’t do it, you’ll never discover the truth about how he really feels for you and what his devotion level to you is. Tell him your true feelings. Open up to him and be completely transparent. Something like, “Sweety, I love you so much, but you’ve really seemed distant lately. I know we haven’t had sex in a while, but I want you to know that I still love you and would stand by you even though we are not having sex. But I miss your touch and your gentle caress. I really just need to be held by you, and told by you that you really love me. Will you please just hold me for a few minutes, and stroke my hair. You know how I love it when you stroke my hair?” Continue to look him directly in the eye, and pay close attention to his next few moves. If he diverts his gaze away from you, and finds some way to break eye contact with you, and then mutters or speaks nearly inaudibly that he has got other things to do, or he can’t do it, or he won’t do it, then that is your answer. Watch his eyes very carefully, for they are the windows to his soul. If his eyes appear shifty, be very careful. If he is not willing to give you a simple hug and stroke your hair when you ask him to, then he’s only interested in you for sex. And since he’s not having sex with you now, he’s probably interested in another girl for sex.
Sex can blur our image of the other person. It can blind us to the true nature of the other person, their true personality. That’s why it is such a sacred thing, Created by God to express the fulfillment of love between a man and his wife and a wife and her husband. When we jump into the sack with people we barely know we are just asking for pain down the road. It acts like a drug, increasing dopamine in the brain and releasing chemicals into the bloodstream that make us feel “good” all over, but the goodness of that feeling, if not expressed through a true loving commitment to another person, is like eating snickers bars every morning lunch and dinner, and doing it again and again and again, with no real substance. Eventually, you’re teeth will rot out, and your body will turn to mush. Sex can be the most amazing and sacred experience on earth, as it is a glimpse into Heaven for the man and wife, who daily submit to the guidance of God through prayer with one another, with the ultimate goal of complete union of body, soul and spirit, in heaven. This experience will be unlike anything you can think of or imagine. And marriage is the preparation for this sacred experience. Not casual sex. Not recreational sex with as many people as you can, who eventually become nothing more than notches on a bedpost. People who treat sex that way will eventually become out of control animals, raving wild and uncontrollable. Those who fear God will treat sex with respect.
The man is the rock of the relationship. And that is who you need, dear woman. A man who will honor you and cherish you for your mind first and foremost, who respects your boundaries enough to not try and conquer you as though you were some prize to be won. I’m not saying this man you love isn’t that rock. Maybe he just needs some encouragement to be stronger. If you love his soul, pray for his soul. Pray that he will become more sensitive to your needs, and be able to cook you a nice dinner, or leave a rose for you every now and then. But eventually, if you do as I have instructed, God will reveal to you the true nature of that man’s heart, and his intentions towards you. If he is not the man you thought he was, continue loving him and praying for him, but end the relationship so it does not cause you to stumble any more. And pray that in your next relationship, God will bring a man to you who is sensitive, kind, caring, and thoughtful to your needs, and who loves you as a child of God, and who loves you before himself. Expect the best, and God will bring the best to you. But in order to receive the best from God, you must do only one thing. You must put God first. Think about why you are here on this planet at all. Think about the nature of reality. Understand that the universe has God at its center, and he is in Charge of it all. Give up your desire to be the God of your own life, and yield control to the one would created you and breathed the breath of life into your nostrils. See through the curtain of lies put out by the media and the scientific community that we are merely modified apes, living a purposeless life in the middle of a purposeless universe where everything just popped into existence from nothing called the Big Bang, and all of life evolved out of sludge. When you believe that world view, life seems pointless, and our highest aspiration is to live from one meaningless pleasure to the next. Unless we get a major infusion of meaning and purpose in our lives, we will have absolutely nothing to live for and we will live utterly trapped in a world of despair, where nonsense rules. But inject God into your life, and you inject purpose, passion, hope, love, devotion. Life becomes so much more than a rat race, a race to see who will be 1st. Jesus said that whoever would be first would be last. And of what use is gaining the entire world if you lose your very own soul in the process. Treasure your soul. BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONE. AND YOU DON’T WANT TO LOSE IT. But those who live for pleasure will lose their souls forever in Hell. They will put themselves first before all others, and in doing so, they will find themselves last. When you start doing good for others, and you develop a love for others and a yearning to do good, God will bless your efforts, and much fruit will be returned to you. More than you can ever ask or imagine. So do something kind for someone today. Go out of your way to make someone smile, and feel good about themselves. Do that long enough, and soon enough, Karma will come back to you, and all the positive energy you put out into the universe is brought back to you manifold.
God bless you woman in your search for passion, truth, beauty, and purpose, and may God have the man of your dreams visit you shortly.
Much Love from Above,
Christopher David Moyer
[personal information deleted by EmpowHER moderator]

Dear Kitty,
Your love for your boyfriend is admirable. The fact that you would stay with him even without the sex shows that you truly care about him a lot. Although sex can produce some powerful emotions in us, it can also get in the way of truly getting to know the person. We start to crave each other's presence because of the physical intimacy, the good feelings we feel from having sex. Two years ago I met a woman who introduced me to sex for the first time, and we were sexually active for about 11 months, but in the beginning of our relationship, we were not having sex and we were praying to God and going to church together, and the intimacy I felt with her was amazing. However as we continued having sex, eventually sex was all I could think about, and I began to objectify her and crave her body more than her mind. This is the pitfall men fall into when they start having sex with a woman outside of the context of a loving, committed relationship called Marriage. When God is not the center of the relationship, Sex can become like God. It's addicting, and it feels fun at the time, but over time, it actually distances the minds of two people from each other. If your boyfriend is not only not sexually active with you, but also distant emotionally- like he is in another place... like he doesn't want to cuddle with you or kiss you or share intimate details of his day with you, there is a good chance he has fallen victim to seeking the fulfillment of his desires in other places than you. There are ways you can find out whether this is the case. Don't be afraid to ask some really tough questions, but you have to know that he still loves you or the relationship, I'm afraid, is not worth saving. If you feel the need to be affirmed in an affectionate matter, say to him, "Sweety, I would really just like you to wrap your arms around me and hold me for awhile, and tell me that you love me. I'm feeling distant from you, like you've been somewhere else lately, and I miss having you close to me." His reaction will tell you everything you need to know. If he denies your request, doesn't look you in the eye, and comes up with some excuse for why he cannot do that, I'm afraid his affection for you has ended, and he's only sticking around because he's grown accustomed to being around you. Any man who truly loves his woman is much more interested in "just" sex. He wants to make her feel like a princess. That is his goal in life- to make you feel precious. If he is not willing to give you a little affection when you sincerely ask for it, it is time to move on. But if you do move on, before you get into your next relationship, pray to God to send you a man who will honor you and love you for who you are. Not a man who will look you up and down like a piece of meat, and tell you whatever you want to hear so long as you will fulfill his sexual fantasies. The man needs to be the rock in the relationship. And when you sincerely ask God and trust him to find a man for you who will love you for who you are, instead of manipulate you with smooth words so you will have sex with him, your eyes will start opening, and you will begin to make better choices about who you bring into your life. Now, if you truly love this man, with all your heart soul and body, and would truly die for him, then perhaps it is a good thing that he no longer desires sex with you. As I said before, sex can blur our eyes and emotions about the true reality of who the other person is. If you pray to God for your boyfriend's soul, if you desire to spend eternity with your boyfriend in Paradise with God and Jesus and the rest of the saints, pray for him. And ask him to pray for you. Eventually you will start to see his true character, God will make it as plain as the Sun in the sky to you. You'll either see a knight in shining armor, who just got a little roughed up along the way and needed some guidance of his own, or you'll see a true coward- a man who cares for nothing and nobody but himself. The sooner you find this truth about your man the better. Best wishes to you and your future relationships. Remember, Put God First.
Blessings
Christopher
The Bipolar Man
[personal information deleted by EmpowHER moderator]

He is cheating......

I am in this same exact situation. I have been married for almost 5 years now. My husband never want to have sex. It is extremely hurtful. I wrote him a six page letter explaining how hurt I am. I just don't think that he truly gets it. He keeps saying that we don't have the time, because of our 2 year old daughter. That is just an excuse in my book. He could make time if he really wanted to. Our daughter is fast asleep right now on the couch, and he is just sitting there watching tv. Right now would be the perfect time, but evidentally he would rather watch tv. I really wish that he would be honest with me. Maybe it is because I have gained weight after having our daughter? I just don't know. I can't live like this anymore.