Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

I am in a serious relationship, me and my partner have been together now for 3 n hlf years and live together. We used to have sex daily, sometimes up to 3 times a day, i have always had a high sex drive, but recentley, we have not been having sex as much. I have tried so many things to get him in the mood, dressing up, cooking, wine etc, nothing seems to work. I have spoken so many times to him about it n he just doesn't seem to listen or give me the answers that i need to hear! I don't know why he won't but its really getting me down because i feel rejected and hurt. I don't know who to talk to, i dont want to talk to my friends because i feel ashamed and embarrased. We only have sex every month n a half, sometimes longer, and I don't know how much longer we can keep going like this because its started to effect other parts of our relationship.

Marry him. Then you won't want sex either. Problem solved.

I just want to say that y'all are obviously young and I wish you the best. One thing you might possibly consider is that there are highly pervasive messages force-fed to us by the media. After a while, they make their mark. One of the most prevalent is that the male is the sexual aggressor and that the majority of females indulge their partners for reasons other than sexual pleasure. But, that's just my take on things. I'm older, male, and I admit very bitter. Regardless if I'm right or wrong, I hope your situation resolves itself. Take heart in the fact that despite the arguments and issues surrounding sexuality, the Caucasian birth rate has been so suppressed that not only will there be an Hispanic majority in the U.S. by 2049 (hard fact check the U.S. Census Bureau and the P.E.W. Institute), but some speculate that extinction is on the visible horizon. Of course, we would all eventually inter-marry so I suppose that's inevitable. I'm white but I'm sure have African blood in me somewhere and I don't have a problem with that. But be vigilant that there is an ever broadening schism separating white males and females. As to the real reason...who can say? It is what it is. As for me, I can't help but feel somewhat vindicated because like yourself, I always thought there was something wrong with me. The larger vision is that sexless relationships are a mathematical reality for my native culture at large. Questionnaires and polls can be inaccurate or mislead but birth-rate statistics and the projections based on them do not. I'm Catholic and envy the value system of Hispanic people. Hopefully they'll do great things with America. God Bless.

Here is a not-so-obvious solution to your dilemma: SPACE.

I do not know if this has been covered in the previous 79 pages of comments but the reason for sexual decline in long term relationships usually has to do with the frequency and consistency of spending time with the other person. The biological reason for a man having sex with a woman is to prevent her from giving birth to a child that is not his. The minimum required for satisfying this goal is around 1-2x per week, which is why most long-term relationships revert to that average level. If you want to increase that average, you have to "trick" the man's body into thinking there is a greater reason to have sex. The way you do this is by not seeing him for prolonged periods of time (1-4 full days per week). Even if you are not cheating on him, his body will perceive the possibility that you have, and will make him want to have sex with you upon your next meeting.

In summary: if you are in a long-term relationship, seeing your partner every day, and watching your sex life drop to zero, change your routine. Give your man a few days of space a week so he can do his own thing and you yours, and watch as he suddenly develops a greater interest in you.

Im having similar issues, I am the female but I am the one with more of the sex drive and I am the one who makes the move. He is 25 and I am 21 so its not that hes old or cheating on me. I have talked to him about it and he is just super stressed out fincancialy, it affects his confidence in our relaionship because he cant take me out as much or pay for everything. I think its an insecurity. He let himself go, he gained like 10 pounds, think were just really comfortable with each other as well and hes getting lazy. we still have sex but I take the lead more often. Dont think your guy is cheating on you automatically, guys are sensitive too to stress, it can affect their mood and make them want it less.

Ok ladies, let me put in my two cents as a guy who was married to the same woman for 23 years. Firstly, she was not that imaginative in bed. The same two positions for years upon years. Sorry to bear the bad news but it would be nice to get a little more kinky than missionary and doggie. Second, she didn't like to give head, but had no problem getting it. Sorry if men thangs are kind of a turn off, we need some kinky oral once in a while. Third, ladies, I love you all BUT so many of you are carrying around extra weight. Men like SKINNY women. You want us to be turned on? Get to the gym. Yes, I agree that men should too. Too often, people let themselves go when they have a solid relationship - me included. Can you admit that you are not as sexy as that twenty something hard body he is working with at the office? Fourth, yes, me do lose their sex drive when they are working too hard and losing sleep! This happened to me many times where I put in 14 hours at work regularly, then could get enough energy to 'produce the goods' for my wife. When I was unemployed, I wanted it all the time! And lastly, I regret to say that after you have done with the same person a million times, even if they are a super model, it just gets old. I adored my ex-wife but I completely lost my desire for her several times during our marriage. I really had to work to get it back! So even though your boyfriend or husband loves you, he may not want to F**K you for one of the reasons mentioned. And of course, he could be cheating. BUT, if he's cheating, please look in the mirror and see what he is really cheating ON. If you're really as hot as you think you are, why is he down the street? Message to both men and women - you need to keep working on your body and watch your diet to stay sexy. Those saddlebags are a true turn off no matter what your mate says!!