Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

If we just listen to most of the men about this subject then we would be way better off. They know of what they speak when they are speaking of their gender! If he's not having sex with you and he's between the age of 18-40 then most likely he's cheating on you. If he's over 40 then it may be a prostate issue or some sort of penial issue. But TRUST when a men gives you advice on another man 99.9% of the time he knows of what he speaks! And that's pretty much all the praise men will get from me. :)

i know how u feel. i have been with my partner just over a year now, and like many of you we had sex all the time, and i live with my partner and his dad, so hes always telling me he doesnt want sex coz he doesnt want his dad to hear, he says we can when his dad isnt at home but he always is, and hes always saying its hard coz we both work stupid hours so we dont see each other much, wick makes me want it more when i do see him, but hes always too tired, he doesnt even look, touch or speak to me in a sexual way anymore, he always says hes lost his sex drive, i know its not his fault but im getting a bit frustrated now, and i feel a bit like its me hes not intrested in anymore but he swears its not. i really dont no whata to do. hes still only in his early 20s aswell so its not age. HELP!!!

Yes, he's probably cheating on you

Whether he’s cheated or not, try to move forward and improve your relationship if you really want to stay with him. Rather than speculating, assuming and stirring up drama – just do your best to be the most confident, sexy and appealing choice he has. You can sensually seduce him in many ways. Here are two great articles that may help: http://www.oceanusnaturals.com/blog/sensual-massage-for-him/ -and- http://www.oceanusnaturals.com/blog/how-to-get-your-groove-back/

You girls, just don't forget men are simple.
As a guy, Ill tell you 4 possible reasons and thats it. Nothing else could be reasons for that.
1. you're getting waight/he's getting bored to have sex with you
2. he recently found his new sexual identity
3. he's cheating on you
4. he's under an once in the lifetime stress
Okay, for you Miss_kitty, if the reason is 4, you would know. cause just under some normal stress doesnt make a guy not think of sex. so thats not a reason. If youre not getting waight recently, its either one of two reasons. He's gay, or he's definitely cheating on you.

Hi Alex,

Thank you for sharing your story and yes, this is a very common occurrence. The main thing I wanted to point out in your story is that you are losing YOUR self-esteem. There was one thing I read before and I always like to share this idea, no one can raise or lower your self-esteem but you. Try not to seclude yourself from your esteem due to the lack of sex in your relationship.

Think about this, men are attracted to women for their confidence (and I am sure other things, lol) but if you are in control of yourself, he may follow suit. Would you rather follow someone that is positive or someone that complains all the time. This is what he may be feeling because men never like to hear, “We need to talk”.

Maybe trying to boost your self esteem will help in the relationship. Do you workout, feel confident??? These are very important issues to maintain for you! Be strong and just maybe he will recognize that and not feel threatened by the dreadful talk. Try it out and let us know what happens.

We are happy that you found EmpowHer, this is a great place to vent as well as learn about women's health. We certainly would love to hear from you again.

Best of Luck!
Missie

Hi Everyone,
I'm new to this site but I was searching for this very subject when I found it. I'm so surprised that there are so many women going through the same thing that I am. It's funny to me how the stereotype is that women don't want it and yet it seems that there are many of us who do and yet are "starved" by the ones who mean the most to us. I've been pondering this dilema for a while now and I'm at a loss for a solution. I've tried it all. We've talked it out many times and he seems to understand when we talk but nothing changes.
Here's a summary of my personal situation. I'm a very young 41 and he's 39. We've been together for 3 1/2 years now. He's lived with me for almost 3 years and our sex life has steadily declined. From the start, he knew that I had a very high sex drive (along with some alternative preferences). He also knew that I was previously married and my ex and I also ended up in a basically sexless relationship long before it ended. That relationship lastest 13 years and by the end of it we were intimate only once every two or three months. This relationship is already at that point and it's driving me crazy. He loves me dearly and is very affectionate but I think the passion is dead. It's just not there anymore. The bizarre part is that he asked me to marry him a couple of months ago and I said yes. He's wonderful and if we could fix this problem for the long term I'd be very happy.
However, as it is I feel like I'm slowly dying inside. My self-esteem is at an all time low. My resentment and anger towards him is growing daily and I don't know what to do. If he does touch me now, I either think "He's just doing this because I've been bugging him about it." or "He's just horny and I happen to be the available body." I'm at the point that I would like to stop our sexual activity altogether so that I don't get my hopes up that things will change anymore. It's almost like as it's happening, I'm thinking "So what. It's going to be three months before anything happens again so why bother?"
I'm very close to asking him if he'd agree to ending the sexual part of our life together and whether he'd be okay if I found a lover on the side. I don't want to end a relationship that is otherwise good but I don't want to resent him for killing off a big part of me. I could never cheat on him without his knowing and understanding why. Does anyone have any thoughts on this idea? I'd appreciate input. I'm thinking of talking to him about it AGAIN tomorrow.

Thanks for listening.