Listen as Dr. Brotto explains if sex should be spontaneous.
Well, I mean, the research tells us that in the majority of women it’s not spontaneous, not to say that it’s not in women some of the time. We know, I’ll give you a couple of different examples, women in new relationships, in the throes of passion, plenty of spontaneous sexual desire where there is no obvious trigger; women just want to be sexual. They think about this new love and they want to be sexual.
We also know that in some women who are more sensitive to changes in their menstrual cycle, that they report peaks in spontaneous desire at different phases of their menstrual cycle, not necessarily at ovulation when testosterone is at its peak, and other women’s actually, you know at the time of menstruation.
So I do believe that in some women, some of the time that that desire is spontaneous. However, I also believe that in the majority of women, the majority of the time, especially women in long-term relationships that it’s not spontaneous. It doesn’t mean that it’s not sexy, doesn’t mean that it’s not passion-filled, but it just means it is planned, it's deliberate.
And sometimes that can go along with some planning, some anticipation, which may translate into better sexual function because there’s actually some thought that went into it ahead of time. So spontaneous sexual desire isn’t necessarily the gold standard.
About Dr. Brotto, Ph.D., R. Psych.:
Dr. Lori Brotto is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of British Columbia and a Registered Psychologist with the BC College of Psychologists. She conducts research on women’s sexual health and difficulties, develops and test psycho-educational interventions for women with sexual desire and arousal complaints, and studies additional sexual health topics including, culture and sexuality, hormones and sexual desire, cancer and sexuality, HPV and sexuality, and asexuality. She received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from the University of British Columbia and trained at the University of Washington, completing a one-year internship in the Department of Psychiatry, and two-year Postdoctoral Fellowship in Reproductive and Sexual Medicine.
View Dr. Brotto Videos: