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Women: Why Do They Need To Put Themselves First? - Charly Emery

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Personal strategist Charly Emery explains why it is necessary for a woman to put herself before everyone else in her life.

Charly Emery:
The most important relationship you can ever have is actually the one with yourself and that’s why it’s so important to learn what it means to put yourself first. You see, there’s actually a lot of relationships that stem from you, that have nothing to do with other people.

For instance, virtually anything that you have a connection to constitutes a relationship. So if you are thinking about putting you first and what does that look like, well let’s look at the other things other than people. How do you treat you? What is your relationship to your schedule? Are you a slave to your schedule or do you set your schedule with power and with care? And how about your commitments? Do you over-commit? Do you give yourself the opportunity to actually review and make revisions to the commitments that you’ve made?

You know, some of us, I used to be one of these, not anymore, but I was guilty of saying well if I made a commitment then if it kills me I am going to stay true to that commitment and the truth is there is a fine line. It’s not about being dishonest or not being trustworthy or being irresponsible but you have to have a responsibility to yourself first. So when it comes to your schedule, when it comes to commitments, those are just two areas right there where it actually pays for you to be able to put yourself first and look and say, “Okay, well I am setting these things up, what is the proper schedule for me to set up?”

I mean we hear all the stuff about multitasking. What about single tasking? There was a time when you could go to the grocery store and if that was the only time in your day that you didn’t get bothered you know, pre-cell phone era, you could actually just focus on the fruit and let your mind run.

Single tasking is so important. You have to take time for that. So when you think about the relationship that you have with yourself remember that you teach others how to treat you and if everybody around you learns how to treat you by watching how you treat yourself, what are you telling them to do? What are they learning and how are they going to perceive based on what they see you modeling with you?

Visit Charly Emery at her website

Add a Comment3 Comments

EmpowHER Guest

Isn't that kind of selfish? If a guy dates a girl, and she wants something, but the guy goes to see a movie, or buys, I don't know, a GAME, or some other thing like that, it's putting himself first, and nobody likes that. People that are popular in this time era are the kind, the generous, the like-minded, and the empathetical people.

June 19, 2014 - 1:02am

Great article and video - as a woman I had to learn the hard way why I need to put myself first (it's not that I am anti-family; I have no family at all and do not ever want one - yep I am one of those who thinks families are for other people, not me) and shackle off the socialization I was forced into as a child - putting off my needs so that someone else's can be met, be self-degrading, and other assorted bullsh*it which is extraordinarily destructive to the human psyche. As a woman in 21st century America, I feel women should learn to take care of themselves, never expect a man to take care of them (ever) and develop some sort of self-image that is positive and nurturing. I am extremely successful in my career, make good money, and do not believe in so-called traditional female social roles. My husband does all the cooking and cleaning and I bring home the bacon. We are childfree and I keep my maiden name as it is very rare. I wouldn't have it any other way.

July 27, 2013 - 6:19pm
EmpowHER Guest

I agree 100%. As a woman, I've become a published author and am making my first feature film at age 69 instead of in my thirties, which I would have done had I not been hounded into marriage, no children (I wasn't that self-sacrificing), trying to please men and going in and out of relationships until I realized through writing poetry, that the one person you need to care about is YOU! You will find satisfaction through realizing your own creative talents and seeing them bear fruit. Had I been a man, that would have been self-evident with women ready to serve me since most women still consider a man MORE IMPORTANT than themselves. Wrong, wrong, wrong!

May 23, 2012 - 8:27pm
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