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ask: Is 45 too old to have a baby??

By Anonymous April 9, 2009 - 11:14am
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I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.

My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!

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EmpowHER Guest

I'll be 44 in March and I have a 10 year old form a previous marriage. My husband is 6 years younger and doesn't not have kids. We went see an IVF specialist and was told my egg count was very low and changes of having a goo quality egg was low too. So we gave up on the idea because we did not want to use donor eggs and came to term with not having a child.
Three weeks ago I had nausea and my stomach was just feeling weird. Then I realize I had not gotten my period and decided to take a test. I was shocked that it was positive. I went to the doctor and he confirmed that I was 8 weeks pregnant. I'm now 10 weeks and I'm a high risk pregnancy because of my age, weight and because my first birth I had really bad preeclampsia and had to deliver at 31 weeks. The more I read the scare I am, but I know so many off you have delivered healthy children. Reading your stories gives me home and faith.

November 25, 2015 - 10:12am
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

Yes, there are more risks with someone your age, for both you and baby but modern healthcare is very good so try not to worry and put your faith in yourself and your doctors!


November 25, 2015 - 3:30pm
EmpowHER Guest

Hello I gave birth to triplets at 48 they are perfectly healthy 2 year olds now!!! Anybody can have an autistic child or one that has disabilities I don't believe age makes a difference go with your heart, Whatever's meant to be will be . Don't let age play a factor in you being a mom

November 7, 2015 - 4:42am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Congratulations we must of had our Triplets around the same time... I was 48 also when I delivered too and they just turned 2 in July . When were yours born?

November 16, 2015 - 12:39pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Were they your eggs?

November 15, 2015 - 6:31pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Yes I had eggs of a 35 year old!!!! Carried till32 weeks babies were perfect just small. The uterus never gets old did you know that? PS the best part is I got pregnant the night before naturally, the next DAY I had my IVF done implanted two eggs that took too!! My email is Roxanne@angelic-care.com if you need advice and a positive ear :)

November 15, 2015 - 7:04pm
EmpowHER Guest

Just turned 46 October 24th & I just gave birth 3 weeks earlier to a beautiful healthy baby boy. It's our first child and probably our last but we feel incredibly blessed.

I'm outraged by the disparaging & discriminating comments about older momma's. I was told repeatedly throughout my pregnancy about all the issues...and I ignored each & every guess. Because that's what it is...a guess. And I am holding my wonderful boy in my arms now as I type this.

I encourage the woman who wrote this & any other over 40 to stay away from these boards. They are opinions and opinions only. Only you & your husband can decide if it's a good choice for you. It was the right thing for my family but it may not be for everyone.

November 6, 2015 - 2:10pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Congratulations Mom of Triplets at 48 :) I agree with what your dying people are so quick to judge!!!!

November 15, 2015 - 7:06pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

My spell check is drunk ... I am a Mom of Triplets at 48... I agree with what your saying....

November 15, 2015 - 7:22pm
EmpowHER Guest

Do not have any children at this point. The risk to have a child with a severe disability, and the amount of pressure it would put on your aging system, is too high.

If you child was born with autism/ down syndrome, it would be your fault.

Adopt a child together. DO not risk your life, or the quality of life of the child.

October 17, 2015 - 7:38pm
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