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Q: 

Is 45 too old to have a baby??

By Anonymous April 9, 2009 - 11:14am
 
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I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.

My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 43 years old and my husband is also same age. I have two daughter now i want anather baby. What i do for conceive natural.

May 8, 2017 - 1:24am
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hello Anon

Track your ovulation, you can use an ovulation kit that can really help. Have sex every other day from day 9 of your cycle (day 1 being the first day of your period). If you don't have success in 6 months, both of you need to be seen by your doctors.
Good luck!
Susan

May 8, 2017 - 2:51pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I had my son at 44, and had no intentions of having a baby. There was slight complications, due to my age, but I do not regret it! I think that when you are older that you are more stable and responsible, but time is time, and your body does wear more easily, no matter how fit you are. You may also not be around as long as you may want to see your child grow older. There are a lot of variables, but all in all, it's well worth it!!!

March 19, 2017 - 8:18pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

This thread has been so helpful. I wrote previously about being 45 and having a 26 year old boyfriend. The ONLY thing that keeps up from being forever partners is that I'll be too old to give him babies when he is ready to have them. Mine are already almost grown. I'd be happy to make a baby and carry one, but he's still a few years away from being ready. This is so sad.

February 6, 2017 - 9:53am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm 44, divorced with no children and am in a relationship with a lovely man who has two kids, 9 and 13. He has been slow to admit it, because I know he wants to make me happy, but I see now that he doesn't want more children - I am at a crossroads.
I either leave the relationship and try to have a child on my own or get involved in a new relationship- or I stay with him and two children who don't really accept me and risk perpetual resentment (toward him).
I'm wondering if it would even be enjoyable to have a child alone? I have a full-time job and I know that it would be very difficult to be a good parent with the time I have...
Thoughts?

February 4, 2017 - 11:35am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I think if you really want the experience of being a parent you should try. I married and ended up being a single parent so essentially it was the same as raising a child alon8. Don't wait wondering over it time will pass by. 100pc you can raise a child by yourself.

March 14, 2017 - 2:44am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I am 45 years old and have been married to my husband for a few years now. He has 3 children (two girls and one boy). I have no children but have miscarried several times since I was 20 years old. My husband and I decided that we wanted to try for a baby but with no luck.
Knowing my age and having a sister one year younger than myself that is going through menopause I became to think the same was happening to me.
I was sick and had all the symptoms of being pregnant but honestly though nothing of that. So, I dealt with it for a few months and finally I made an appointment with my doctor and what a surprise to find out I was pregnant.
Very pregnant too, i was 26 weeks at time...I really didn't believe it...but then the doctor got the fetal Doppler and wham...there was the heartbeat.
Now, I'm at 30 weeks and beginning to really show and could not be happier.
The doctor had me do so many test to make sure of no illness, diabetes and so forth...everything came back great....no problems except my blood pressure....
I believe that if you want a child in your life at this point in I say if you want to have a baby; go for it....
Mine was a surprise and a pleasant one at that...just when I was ready to forget the idea of having one...my husband and I were truly blessed....
I wish you the best of luck

March 13, 2017 - 6:05am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

This response has given me so much hope. I got married last year to an awesome man who I love dearly. I was divorced with 3 teenaged children.
I want to have a child with my husband so badly. Twice we had miscarriages that pained my heart deeply. The last was just 4 days ago :(. Everyone says it's because I'm old....45 years...but I have not lost my faith.....and this has certainly been an inspiration to me. Thanks so much!

April 20, 2017 - 6:53pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I just had a baby at 44years old. I was surprised to be pregnant after two years ago I had a miscarriage and with two boys from 24 to 8 years old. So I would said go for it my eggs where great at this age my baby is in great health. Yes I said a have a grown adult child 24 years old is my oldest

May 8, 2017 - 1:06pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

You are so very lucky. I am 45 and been with my husband for 3 years. We fell pregnant only 2 months after we got together and this was a miracle as I had never been pregnant before. Unfortunately I miscarried at 6 weeks. We were devasted. 2 years on still nothing so looks like it's just not meant to be. I have such sore boobs just now and I do pray every month I will be pregnant but never happens.
I really hope it goes well for you. So happy for you. Take care
Vici

March 16, 2017 - 3:10am
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