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ask: Is 45 too old to have a baby??

By Anonymous
 
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I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.

My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

If you decide to have a baby, don't delay by a single day. Try, pray, hope...

July 31, 2015 - 12:54pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 45 and currently trying with my partner/soon to be husband. I wanted more children despite my two boys being 25 and 26. My last partner was selfish and during the four years I was with him he didn't want children and he didn't have any from any other relationships. In the end I just knew our needs were different. I met my partner with children from another marriage also in their twenties and he is 54. The best job either of us have ever had is being a parent and soooo hoping we can seal our love together by having a baby together . I suppose I am saying don't waste time, its time you could be spending with your new baby.

July 30, 2015 - 12:18pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I read all the comments and all are very helpful, especially the one saying that the man doesn't have baby in his first marriage, as i can relate to that issue. Thank you very much and more power to all.

July 30, 2015 - 4:40am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I think this might be a mistake. I think you should enjoy the children you have, and enjoy your life with your new husband. As well as being high-risk, having a baby in your mid-late 40's will be tremendously stressful even if everything goes perfectly. A lot of marriages don't survive this kind of stress. At least make sure you and your husband are fully aware of the risks.

July 20, 2015 - 4:37pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Reality check. You don't have the luxury of waiting a year or 2. Even if you were to begin trying immediately, your chances of conceiving naturally are basically nill. You've got a better chance of winning the lottery.

July 20, 2015 - 9:31am
hockeygirlda (reply to Anonymous)

Anonymous, I don't know how old you are but "reality check" for you is that the current boom in babies is predominantly due to women in their 40's having them. As long as we have a regular menstrual/ovulation cycle we can conceive. I am 45 and 38w/4d pregnant. I'm healthy, my baby boy is healthy and he was conceived naturally (no meds/no assistance) in one try. I as well as the original poster married late in life and then chose to have children last December. The notion that a majority of people like yourself think that it is somehow "odd" that women in their 40's can have a baby naturally and with no issues (such as myself) is insane and quite frankly ignorant to the current statistical facts.

I hope you read through this thread to hear the stories and comments of many women in their 40s who have indeed conceived naturally with no issues so that your future comments on threads such as these offer encouragement rather than negativity.

July 20, 2015 - 9:52am
hockeygirlda (reply to Anonymous)

Anonymous, I don't know how old you are but "reality check" for you is that the current boom in babies is predominantly due to women in their 40's having them. As long as we have a regular menstrual/ovulation cycle we can conceive. I am 45 and 38w/4d pregnant. I'm healthy, my baby boy is healthy and he was conceived naturally (no meds/no assistance) in one try. I as well as the original poster married late in life and then chose to have children last December. The notion that a majority of people like yourself think that it is somehow "odd" that women in their 40's can have a baby naturally and with no issues (such as myself) is insane and quite frankly ignorant to the current statistical facts.

I hope you read through this thread to hear the stories and comments of many women in their 40s who have indeed conceived naturally with no issues so that your future comments on threads such as these offer encouragement rather than negativity.

July 20, 2015 - 9:52am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to hockeygirlda)

You're right. My earlier comment was very negative, and I'm sorry for that. However I do believe that waiting a couple of years would be a mistake.

July 20, 2015 - 3:17pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

If you and your husband want to add an addition to the family. I would say go for it. If you and your husband are healthy and have the energy to have a baby go for it. I personally would start trying right away time is ticking. The longer you wait the more risks involved. I'm sure your teens would be happy to have an addition to the family. As you know a baby takes away alot of your freedom but when you need a break I'm sure your teens would love to spend bonding time with the precious baby. I would love to have another baby. I love the way they smell, I love holding them, rubbing there head, tapping there bum. I love watching them grow and figure out new things. The cute noises they make. Babies are a blessing and if we raise them right, they will be there for us when we need them. If you and your husband truly want a baby start the process now because risks get higher and higher as we age. Good luck.

June 22, 2015 - 4:30am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi my comments probably will be quite different from other people, but all I would like to say is, as your husband has no children it may be very important to him, and it may be very sad for him if he misses out. I know this is not the only reason to go for it and have another child, but I am married to someone who I love very much, who has two adult children, and did not want anymore. While this was my choice, I have really grieved not having children. Hope you don't mind my comments, just some thoughts.... All the best with your decision. KX

June 17, 2015 - 12:32am
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