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ask: Is 45 too old to have a baby??

By Anonymous
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I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.

My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!

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EmpowHER Guest

I met my partner just before I turned 44 & miraculously found out I was pregnant 8 weeks later.
I have had endrometriosis which was removed at age 33 and never reoccurred, but I was convinced I was unable to conceive let alone carry full term after 2 previous miscarriages. I was also scared to be honest, as I have never had a full term pregnancy.
I terminated due all of the above and my partner already had two children he is responsible for - and since we did not really know each other, I thought it best. I had a IUD Merina inserted as contraception so I would not need to go through the tough decisions again.
Now almost a year later, I desperately want a baby.
My partner and I are still together and I am thinking about removing my Merina to try again.
I am scared - am I making a selfish mistake?

February 24, 2015 - 12:22pm
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

Nobody can say you are selfish, that is not anyone's place.   Do what is right for you and your partner, with a future baby's best interests at the forefront. Good luck! 


February 24, 2015 - 4:40pm
EmpowHER Guest

Thank you for all of these wonderfully inspiring stories!!! I will turn 45 later this month and just recently discovered I am expecting. I am recently remarried and my husband has 3 children from a previous marriage (all teens) and we tried to conceive right after we married with no luck, opted not to try fertility treatments, and just sort of readjusted our vision of the future... and what do you know, I turn up pregnant!! It has been so hard to find ANYTHING positive about pregnancy at this age- I have been searching for anything positive to hold on to. I know we have a long road ahead of us but these posts give me hope and make me think I am NOT crazy for doing this!!!

February 13, 2015 - 10:16am
EmpowHER Guest

Just turned 44 yesterday, and 24 weeks pregnant with my 5th baby. Everything is going well, and I feel great. It was a big surprise... i have a 23yr boy, and 19, 18 and a 4 1/2 yr old girls. We were using the fam method and i keep good track of my cycles, so it appears i ovulated many days earlier this time round, and feel so blessed that there is another little beauty coming into our lives.

Only at my family Dr. insistance did i go for a quad scree and 20 week ultrasound. i didn't want to get tests, because it woudn't have changed anything, i will love this baby no matter what... tests came back with excellent results. while i know it will be a while before i have "my freedom", the blessing of these little ones is a far greater gift. if it is what you really want in your heart, and is meant to be, it will be a blessing.

February 8, 2015 - 11:55pm
EmpowHER Guest

i had 2 kids at my 39 and 42s....... Im happy Physically and mentally... You can ...... Enjoy

January 19, 2015 - 3:24am
EmpowHER Guest

I had my 6th child at age 45, he is 2 now and perfectly normal. It was not an easy pregnancy. My next child up was 10 at the time so it had been a while. What I can say is that I don't have the energy that I did in my 20ies and 30ies, it's hard having a toddler running around! He is so worth it though. There are risks to everything in life. Woman miscarry in their 20 ies. I don't regret having him so late.

January 14, 2015 - 2:52pm
EmpowHER Guest

I just had a healthy baby girl at 44. It was my 5th child and probably my easiest pregnancy!! I say go for it!!

January 9, 2015 - 11:53am

I have to tell you I was sitting in my living room tonight literally in tears. Long story short, I finally had a long over due myomectomy in 2012 when I was 42 yrs old but did not meet with a fertility specialist until earlier this year to start the long process of IVF. But we had to stop in the middle of our fertility treatment because the accountant changed the price without notice or better yet they charged our health insurance which covered some aspects of our treatment and still wanted us to pay the price of IVF as if we were not insured. Sooo illegal but another topic for another day. When we brought this to their attention they denied billing our insurance even though we had billing statements??? Can you say undue stress? I was 44 then and my AMH was .66. And now, were stuck with a ton of expensive fertility medications we'll never use. I should be in tears over that but here's why I am in tears. I just turned 45 this month I have moved on to yet another fertility specialist who offers Mini IVF which - from my understanding - is better for women my age. Feeling a little worried about my ability to produce my own eggs I asked for another AMH and its came back at .12!!! :'( I'm feeling really down because the doctor said he would like to see at least a .3. I guess I am having a little trouble with how quickly it dropped from a .66 in Jan. to .12 in Dec. BUT I am feeling inspired again after reading many of your post. (Thank you!) On the upside (somewhat), I have an appointment on either New Year's Eve or New Year's Day to do a baseline and praying for some hopeful news. Thanks again everyone for the encouragement.

December 29, 2014 - 7:15pm
EmpowHER Guest

I say go for it. Your older now and you finally found the love of your life who you want to have children with. It may take time so I advise to start trying now if you guys are in agreement.
I pray for you good health, health baby, and healthy marriage and relationship with older children. May you all be blessed.

December 26, 2014 - 9:49am
EmpowHER Guest

Wow all of your stories are so encouraging. Thank you to the first young lady who started the session.
I just turned 45 this month. I finally met back with the love of my life after over 20 years. I was married for twenty years had three children, 21, 19, and 10. I never thought after my divorce, that I would ever consider having children again nor getting married. But God had his on plans. We had been trying since I was 43 to see about having a baby. My love has no children and he is now 45. We finally found a doctor to check everything for us. I had my fibroids removed and my tubed reversed. I have one ovary because I had to have one removed years prior. The doctor has now stated that my tube is blocked because of the scare tissue. Currently I'm praying. I recall years ago when I was pregnant with my other children, I was younger and always had fibroids and still had them. So mericuls can happen.
I thank you all so much. This gives me hope. I really pray for a healthy, beautiful, blessing for us.

December 26, 2014 - 9:16am
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