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Is 45 too old to have a baby??

By Anonymous April 9, 2009 - 11:14am
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I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.

My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!

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EmpowHER Guest

If you have a baby at 45, when the baby is your age now, you will be 90 or more than likely dead.

January 27, 2016 - 12:57am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Your comment is ridiculous, no one lives forever. Being a young parent does not guarantee you a long life, any more than being an older one. Young or old, I would not waste time figuring in my mind how long I may or may not live.

January 27, 2016 - 9:45am
EmpowHER Guest

So this isn't me but more my dad and his wife. My mom, my dad, and my stepmom were all the same age and went to school together. My stepmom got herself caught up with another guy right after school had a baby at 20 and another at 24. My mom and my dad got married and had me and my two sisters at 24, 27, and 29 respectively. My dad and my mom fought a lot and one night while my mom was pregnant he went and sleeped with my stepmom resulting in my other sister when they all were 30.

12 years pass no more kids everyone is growing up. My stepmom and my dad get married. Her doctor told her she couldn't have another kid so they didn't bother with protection they are 42 what does it matter. They tried for years but gave up. They are going to have a granddaughter in a month.

Well my stepmom found out she was pregnant yet again at 42! She freaked. I remember it to this day. Her oldest was pregnant and so was she!

Around 6 months later she had a perfectly healthy little girl. She is my baby sister and is now 27. She is perfectly fine. I asked my stepmom would she rather have a baby in her 20s or 40s. She said 40s.

She says that even though you are the old parent, you have lived your life and will give that child so much love. She felt more prepared later in life. She wanted to run around and did with her first two kids and even a little bit with the third. While with the baby in her fourties she cared more for the kid and was able to spend a lot of time with her. She says if you want a baby go for it! Even if it isn't your own and you adopt.

January 14, 2016 - 7:45pm
EmpowHER Guest

I am 43 and have kids from ages 2-24. My husband and I find life with our children much more enjoyable now that we are older. i was more task driven when my older children were younger. Keeping up on kids activities and being busy doesn't make you good parents. Spending time, listening to them, and maybe just an evening relaxing , enjoying them with a game is something they might cherish more.

January 1, 2016 - 6:27am
EmpowHER Guest

is it fair to a kid to have old parents? You get pregnant at 46... You have it when you are 47. Your child is going to be 13 years old when you are 60? Prime age to start the teen years, sports, activities, team drama, etc. You don't need a kid to be happier! You happiness is within you!!! it doesn't depend of external actions. I'm a young parent and its very sad to hear stories of my teen friends being embarrass of having old folks. They always complain that their parents don't participate in their lives. They just provide stuff for them... Sorry, but that's another angle that you need to consider. Perfect age to have a kid... early thirties.... I had them in my mid 20s.

December 17, 2015 - 3:18pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

that is the most ridiculous comment! I know so many women having kids in their 40's. I am more active now than in my 20's. I'm 45 and I ski, play softball, hike and camp every chance I get and also do yoga and hit the gym a few times a week and in the best shape I've ever been. Age doesn't matter, it's how you live your life.

February 1, 2016 - 12:52pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

What world are you living in ? In my world 60 year olds are still very active . I'm 40 and go speed walking fishing and bounty hunting with 60 year olds . Lots of good life left at 60 .

January 20, 2016 - 10:23pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Anonymous, you seem to have a very limited worldview. There's nothing wrong with a 60 year-old parenting a 13 year old. Indeed, I believe older parents are usually bettwer parents. Mist 20-somethings are far too immature to parent well.

As for me, I am 45, with a wonderful 16 year old step-child, and am about to have a baby. As a well educated professional woman, I look forward to maintaining my robust family and professional lives well into my 80s. I have an 81 year old neighbor who just tried the trapeze for the first time in her life!

To the woman wondering about later parenthood: I say GO FOR IT.

January 8, 2016 - 9:31am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I'm considering whether I'm able to have my first child at 44 with a partner I'm going to marry. I'm really thinking of going for it as I'd love nothing more than a child, especially now in a wonderful loving relationship. I remember a schoolfriend whose parents had her late in life..they adored her. Her folks adored each other too, it seemed a close family unit. To have children in mid 20's is a perfect scenario yes. Unfortunately we can't all do that nor turn back the clock. Go for it x

January 3, 2016 - 1:59pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I'm 45 years old and had my kids at 37, 39 and 40. My kids are now 4,6 and 8. Yes, I'm an older parent but I disagree that this is a negative thing. In my early thirties all I cared about myself... Now, as an older parent I am 100 percent ready to sacrifice all that I need to for my kids. Aside from that, I take care of myself better than I did in my 20's.
Your 40's are a great time to have a baby if you can pull it off. Much better than in your 20's when it's all about you.

December 22, 2015 - 9:47pm
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