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ask: Is 45 too old to have a baby??

By Anonymous
 
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I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.

My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

If you and your husband want to add an addition to the family. I would say go for it. If you and your husband are healthy and have the energy to have a baby go for it. I personally would start trying right away time is ticking. The longer you wait the more risks involved. I'm sure your teens would be happy to have an addition to the family. As you know a baby takes away alot of your freedom but when you need a break I'm sure your teens would love to spend bonding time with the precious baby. I would love to have another baby. I love the way they smell, I love holding them, rubbing there head, tapping there bum. I love watching them grow and figure out new things. The cute noises they make. Babies are a blessing and if we raise them right, they will be there for us when we need them. If you and your husband truly want a baby start the process now because risks get higher and higher as we age. Good luck.

June 22, 2015 - 4:30am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi my comments probably will be quite different from other people, but all I would like to say is, as your husband has no children it may be very important to him, and it may be very sad for him if he misses out. I know this is not the only reason to go for it and have another child, but I am married to someone who I love very much, who has two adult children, and did not want anymore. While this was my choice, I have really grieved not having children. Hope you don't mind my comments, just some thoughts.... All the best with your decision. KX

June 17, 2015 - 12:32am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

My heart goes out to you for your grief, you only have one life if you want a baby have one although that is easier said than done think about it. My husband left me after 18 years two children then I met someone with no children I had a little boy in my 40's best thing ever. Men are a very selfish breed lots of love and best wishes s xx

June 22, 2015 - 10:26am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm 45 yo and 23 weeks pregnant naturally. My husband is 13 years my junior, first marriage for both of us, no children. Believe it or not, the most stressful part of this pregnancy has been to find an OB/MW team that doesn't treat me like I have a disease because I'm pregnant after 40! Three practices later & I finally think we found a match. My pregnancy has been fairly symptom free...heartburn & fatigue being the prominent nuisances. A Materniti21 test reflected no chromosome abnormalities, no nuchal issues & 21 week US shows all normal growth %. This all while no drugs/scripts...just prenatals & good nutrition. It'll be a tough road ahead due to me not getting any younger but I'm so looking forward to having being blessed with this baby boy coming in October before it was to late.

Good luck to you!

June 11, 2015 - 2:45pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Hi there,
I am so happy to read your post! I found out I was pregnant 2 days before my 45 th birthday. Iam now 5 weeks along. My husband is 6 years younger than I am and has no kids. I have 3 from a previous relationship. We are excited and I am terrified to lose this baby! It is so reassuring to read your post, not much good news out there for our age! Wishing you all the best.
Juniper

June 20, 2015 - 7:29am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 45 and in 3 mo. Be turning 46 and just went on an emotional rollercoaster ride. My husband had vasectomy 22 years ago and I started taking birth control 10 years ago for cycle issues and stopped taking them about one year ago because things became better with my cycle.
Two mo. ago I became pregnant I was a mess. I didn't want to be and refused that this could ever happen to me. Well my husband assured me everything would be okay so I excepted it and became very excited with him. At 3 mo. I miscarried and now I want to have a baby but he is more worried about the risks for me and a new baby. Also to add we have two other children who are 23 and 22 years old.

June 9, 2015 - 9:57am
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

That sure is a roller coaster to deal with and I am very sorry for your loss. 

You may want to let nature take it's course and see what happens but it's not likely a pregnancy will come to term - simply based on the odds.

If you both really do want a baby then you would need to take the IVF route immediately.

If, in the end, you both decide against it, your husband needs to see a doctor about sterilization again. 

Best,

Susan

June 9, 2015 - 2:48pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 45 and in 3 mo. Be turning 46 and just went on an emotional rollercoaster ride. My husband had vasectomy 22 years ago and I started taking birth control 10 years ago for cycle issues and stopped taking them about one year ago because things became better with my cycle.
Two mo. ago I became pregnant I was a mess. I didn't want to be and refused that this could ever happen to me. Well my husband assured me everything would be okay so I excepted it and became very excited with him. At 3 mo. I miscarried and now I want to have a baby but he is more worried about the risks for me and a new baby. Also to add we have two other children who are 23 and 22 years old.

June 9, 2015 - 9:55am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm 45 and just had a scan today to confirm that I'm 9.5 weeks pregnant! After 4 years of trying through IVF and many many miscarriages later, my son was born when I was 42 yrs old. I'm now 45 and we conceived naturally but I'm concerned about baby's health and being a much older mum.!

June 2, 2015 - 10:38pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

That is awesome! I came here to read some encouraging comments because I'm having a very sad day. I just got pregnant with iui in Mid May but today my betas were very low and I started spotting. I feel that my time is running out and I don't have the money to do ivf. I'm 41 and my husband and I want a baby so bad. We are going to do iui again.

June 5, 2015 - 4:15pm
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