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ask: Is 45 too old to have a baby??

By Anonymous
 
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I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.

My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I started to have a baby at age 48. Now I am a 54 years and have a 5 years old boy . I adored him every day. He gave me hope, love and made me look younger , prettier, stronger , and healthier .
I do not regret day.

July 31, 2014 - 6:07am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 41 and am engaged for the first time. My fiance and I will likely get married when I am 42 and will likely try for a child. Neither of us have them. I am nervous because I like my sleep (sleep a solid 8 hours a night) and know I wont get much of it with a newborn (unless we get lucky with a good sleeper). However, I figure that if it is meant to be it will be. If not then we will either adopt or remain childless. I always saw myself being a mother so I want to at least try. However, I wont go through IVF (I'm too old and it is too expensive) so if we can't conceive naturally then we will have to look at other options. I'm happy to read of older mothers who are positive about the decision to become a mother later in life. I hear some older mothers say they were too old and it saddens me. Good luck ladies!

July 3, 2014 - 8:59am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I have always wanted children but my first marriage was abusive & resulted in no children (perhaps for the best anyway). When I remarried just before my 40s, my new husband was supportive (even though he has 2 adult children) & had a reversal. Years went by with every treatment under the sun. Nine years later & 48 years old, my dream to be a mother came true. Our baby makes me more home bound & friends have dwindled but hearing the sweet chattering, coos & squeals of delight makes these life changes so worth it. Our baby is keeping both of us young :)

July 2, 2014 - 8:39pm
Sharban (reply to Anonymous)

Hello anonymous. I am in a similar position that you were in. My new husband has children from a previous relationship and I do not. We have talked about having a child together but he's had a vasectomy and I am 45 years old! I am so undecided for a number of reasons. 1. My age associated with fertility 2. The success rate of his vasectomy reversal and 3. The complications that could arise because of my age (defects or abnormalities in the baby). It's just such a worry. I guess I'm just looking for a little reassurance.....

August 24, 2014 - 1:13am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Thats such a lovely story that gives me hope!!! Even better that its recent.

July 28, 2014 - 11:09am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi all I had my daughter at 42 thoroughly enjoyed being a mum again think I had more patience and was more laid back than with my other children x i say go for it best of luck xx

June 3, 2014 - 4:03pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I had my son at 42. It is possible to get pregnant after 40. I started trying to get pregnant at 36, at 40 I started fertility treatments and tried acupuncture a few times. Within the next 18 months I did 6 rounds of fertility treatments resulting in 4 miscarriages. I was in the unexplained category. Husband sperm count was great, all of my numbers were great. After my 4th miscarriage, I was ready to give up. That was in Nov 2010. In January 2011 I met an acupuncturist that seemed like she really knew her stuff. I started seeing her twice a week for 3 weeks and she also gave me bags of "stuff" to make a tea out of and drink daily. It was herbs, twigs, and other stuff. Then I started going once a week (couldn't afford more). I ovulated 5 weeks after seeing her, and 2 weeks later had a positive pregnancy test. I was nervous to get excited and continued to see her weekly until I was 16 weeks. I am happy to report I had my son at 37 weeks due to blood pressure issues and he is happy healthy 2 yr old. I will be 45 in June and we are going to start trying for our 2nd child next month. Hopefully acupuncture will do the trick again and I will get pregnant quickly.

January 27, 2014 - 10:03pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Hello
Congratulations for your baby. I would like to get pregnant too, I am 46. Could you let me know who is your acupuncturist & where is her office located. I'll apreciate it a lot.
Thanks
Mei-Ling

March 15, 2014 - 4:40pm
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

Our readers are coming from all over the world. In case she does not reply, you can look for acupuncturists in your area by a google search or asking friends, family or the medical community for reputable places that specialize in fertility. 

Good luck!

Susan

March 17, 2014 - 10:07am
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

I agree that acupuncture has positive effects on many conditions including fertility. Congratulations to you! Isn't it a pity acupuncture is expensive? I have to limit my visits too but have had great success with my digestive system. And in the end, it's far cheaper than fertility treatments! 

I encourage our readers looking into to this to consider acupuncture. While it's very possible to get pregnant after 40, the truth is that most women trying will have difficulties and these natural remedies can and do work for some women. 

Susan

February 1, 2014 - 2:55pm
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