Facebook Pixel
EmpowHER Guest
ask: 

Is 45 too old to have a baby??

By Anonymous April 9, 2009 - 11:14am
 
Rate This

I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.

My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!

Add a Comment306 Comments

EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I just read all 300+ comment. I'm 45 now. My periods are regular and I am on the pill. I'm dating a 26 year old who wants kids...but not yet. My oldest is grown and the other is in her late teens. If I wait, I'm in serious risk for having a child with special needs. I don't want to knowingly do that. I may have to back out of this very loving relationship because I can't give him a baby in a a few years. This makes me so sad.

September 26, 2016 - 10:15am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Similar situation... My gf was 33 at the time and I was 44. I already had three smart, athletic and fun daughters... She didn't want kids at the beginning of our relationship but she changed her mind after a couple of years... We broke up over a year ago... I will give my life for any of my daughters: but starting over at 45 !!! I think that you are making the right decision to let him go and make his own family. My ex is getting married soon and I'm enjoying my kids and single life. I bet that he enjoyed dating you!!! good luck.. He will be fine, and you too!

September 26, 2016 - 2:04pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Aw, thank you. I haven't given him up yet. And he doesn't want to give up me. This isn't easy. You are a better man than I. He will make his own family one day, I know it. We've known this was temporary all along.

September 27, 2016 - 3:12pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

I'm sorry you're in this predicament but your boyfriend knows your age and the obvious issue of fertility that goes along with it. And at 26, he may not be ready until his early thirties.

Enjoy the relationship for what it is for now and hopefully you can remain good friends for the years to come!

Best,
Susan

September 26, 2016 - 1:19pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 45 years of age and I am 5 weeks. My four other children are grown. We weren't trying to children, but it happened. Me and my husband have successfully avoided unwanted pregnancies during our 20 year marriage with counting, clearly I forgot to add the one or something. Because this has happened. I am willing to give it another try and if Gods sees fit, it will work out for me. Regardless of the crass and obvious reaction from family and friends....

September 8, 2016 - 11:56am
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

45 isn't even that old anyway! My SIL had her one and only at 45 and she was born healthy and is two and thriving! Enjoy every minute!

Susan

September 8, 2016 - 12:47pm

I really glad that I stumbled upon this post. I was feeling a little discouraged until I read all the comments. I'm 45 & my cycles are still regular. I have 4 kids, ages 24, 23, 17 & 8. We've been actively trying to conceive naturally for the past four months. I went to the doctor in February & she said that everything looked good.

I was wondering if anyone has ever tried serrapeptase & the natural progesterone cream? IVF is our last resort as my health insurance doesn't cover infertility treatments unfortunately.

July 20, 2016 - 5:34pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 44 and turning 45 this year ,, l have had 2 miscarriages , 1_ just this month 12,weeks 4_days ,, l rally wanted this baby . l want to try again but scared to now , worried about what people think ! If people want a baby in there forty's l say should try ,, don't wait ! Do assp l had my last child at 40 everything was great he's 4 yrs now . just take your folic acid ladies very important x

May 31, 2016 - 1:35pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

The most important thing is the love and involvement you have with your children ....especially when they're young and forming the foundation of their little personalities. Reading a lot of these comments, people focus on ho "old" you'll be when your child is in their 20's, or whether you'll even be alive!!! Personally, I believe you can give your child an amazing foundation as a parent -- whether that's five or fifteen or fifty years!!! If you raise them with love and respect, all else will work out!! I have five children 3 - -22 and 3 grandchildren. The easiest child has been my last when I gave birth at 42 -- go with your heart. Each age has its challenges.

April 19, 2016 - 8:37pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 44 and just lost my only biological child to a MVA. I have three very precious step-children who are all grown. My husband and I are considering having a baby. I have considered all of these comments as this is a huge decision. Regarding OLD FOLKS embarrassing the teen at school...I would have to say we are as young as we feel. If you do not think you will be involved in your child's life when it comes to sporting events, sleep overs, movie nights, outdoor adventures...then do not have a baby. If you know you are up for it and plan to be an active parent then go for it. I personally feel like the child I lost is the most perfect and I do not need to have another one to make myself feel any better...there is no getting over the loss of a child. My husband is totally on board and actually excited about having a baby. All I know is I am going to put in some serious prayer time on this topic. If God wants me to have a baby, then I will. Good luck on your decision.

April 2, 2016 - 3:59pm
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.