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Is 45 too old to have a baby??

By Anonymous April 9, 2009 - 11:14am
 
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I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.

My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!

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Anonymous

I am 47 and had my first child a year ago...completely naturally, without any drugs or fertility treatments.

He is amazing...happy, healthy, intelligent and currently featured in a baby magazine. I was told I had a less than 1% chance at my age to have a baby and even if I was to get pregnant that the child would most likely not be 'viable'. (This from a $300 a hour gynecologist who told me to either adopt or find an egg donor...4 years prior to becoming pregnant)

DON'T believe the naysayers!!! It is completely possible! In addition, you're not too old. I'm having a blast as is my husband. We have the knowledge, time and money to give our child 100%.

Over the past year I have observed in my 'mommy and me group' countless other children of 'younger' mothers where the little one's are shy, timid, sickly or introverted. My son is the opposite. Happy, outgoing, hasn't had a cold and approaches everyone young and old. I believe it's because of the time and attention he gets from his 'older parents'.

My advice...GO FOR IT!!! Good luck!

August 28, 2017 - 5:48pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Wow your baby is in a magazine. What about all the babies born into poverty, do you think your child is special because a magazine focused on you. They just wanted a feel good story, in reality most kids born with old parents go off the rails or have down sindrome.

October 19, 2017 - 3:26am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I really need to hear from people like you i'm 45 n just found out i'm pregnant Congratulations and mi hope my pregnancy turns out well...☺

October 13, 2017 - 4:22pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi dear, Just want to send you support and tell you enjoy life to the fullest. I am 45 with four children! ages 20,16,9,3. Don't let anyone steal your joy for wanting to have another baby.
They are pure gifts! Best wishes

August 6, 2017 - 5:18pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 44 and have a 14 month old and 9 year old- they are the love of my life. The OB who delivered the last baby was 44 and 46 with her kids, and told me if your body is healthy, you can have a healthy delivery/pregnancy. If your heart wants it, and your body can do it- don't think about it twice-God bless you! My Mom was 40 and 42 when she had us (got married at 39) and said we kept her young. That was in the 1970's! Good luck, and best wishes!

August 5, 2017 - 9:50am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I don't agree with having children at 45. The biggest concerns are related to premature birth, downs, etc. Children are born perfectly healthy to older mothers, but the chances of genetic issues popping up are greatly increased. I had both my children at 27 and 32. I'm 45 now and can't imagine going through a pregnancy at my age. I'm healthy, don't take any meds nor overweight, but I also get tired quicker now too. You may feel ok in your mid 40's, but what about 5-6 years later when you're going through menopause?! Food for thought........

July 1, 2017 - 6:59pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 44 years old and am 5 weeks pregnant. I have 3 other children, 26, 16, and 10. I would be over the moon with joy except that I am pregnant by a man (Brent) who is engaged to somebody else. A little back story: Brent and I dated about 22 years ago when I was wild and uncertain. Fast forward 22 years and we are absolutely in love with each other. Unfortunately, he is engaged to somebody else with whom he just bought a house with. He has told me from the first few times we started seeing each other again that he knows he wants to be with me, but has so much money invested in his current relationship. Apparently she is holding on to almost 100k of his money. He doesn't know when he's going to leave the relationship, and since I told him I was pregnant, hes been very distant. I don't think I can go to the "clinic" as I've done it before and swore I'd never do it again. However, I don't want to ruin his life with a baby. I'm afraid if I choose to keep the baby, he will resent me for it. He is a very kind and generous man who cares deeply about how his actions affect others. To top it off, I am 7 months shy of getting my degree, so my income is minimal at best. I want to stress that in all my 44 years, I have never been so madly in love with anybody. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man and have never made that claim about anybody. Something else interesting is that his doctors have been telling him for years that he is unable to have children. Him and his ex-wife tried for over 6 years with no luck. The very first time we had sex, I got pregnant. And apparently, 44 year old women have a 6-7% chance of getting pregnant on their own. I believe this baby is a miracle, but I'm afraid of losing the only man I have ever loved. Any advice?? Please, I need some support. I can't tell a single soul about my pregnancy to protect his situation.

June 25, 2017 - 5:55pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Be honest with you, i don't know why you keep thinking just about him, you have a miracle in your belly, if he loves you deeply who cares about money or investment, he should quit on everything he had with his relationship of he truly loves you, but i guess you are so dumb thinking he is a kind guy, please keep your baby with you,you need a real man in your life, not someone who don't have responsibilities on his actions, if i was him.... I don't need to think twice, you are giving him a baby, and that's priceless. Keep your miracle and forget this guy, he is not loving you the way he is telling you.

September 28, 2017 - 8:31am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I feel you! I'm 45 just found out I'm also progress! I'm going Thur a divorce of 20 yrs got with a man that has been after me for 5 yrs! He is 11 yrs younger! I am very happy but I didn't think this would happen!
He is so excited and he treats me so good but this is so much to handle at one time!

August 27, 2017 - 5:59pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Have the baby and do the best you can. If Brent wanted to share the rest of his life with you, he would be with you now. Life is too short to make it complicated. The child needs and wants your love. Focus on that

July 31, 2017 - 6:33pm
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