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ask: Is 45 too old to have a baby??

By Anonymous

I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.

My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!

Add a Comment128 Comments

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Anonymous

I had my son at 42. It is possible to get pregnant after 40. I started trying to get pregnant at 36, at 40 I started fertility treatments and tried acupuncture a few times. Within the next 18 months I did 6 rounds of fertility treatments resulting in 4 miscarriages. I was in the unexplained category. Husband sperm count was great, all of my numbers were great. After my 4th miscarriage, I was ready to give up. That was in Nov 2010. In January 2011 I met an acupuncturist that seemed like she really knew her stuff. I started seeing her twice a week for 3 weeks and she also gave me bags of "stuff" to make a tea out of and drink daily. It was herbs, twigs, and other stuff. Then I started going once a week (couldn't afford more). I ovulated 5 weeks after seeing her, and 2 weeks later had a positive pregnancy test. I was nervous to get excited and continued to see her weekly until I was 16 weeks. I am happy to report I had my son at 37 weeks due to blood pressure issues and he is happy healthy 2 yr old. I will be 45 in June and we are going to start trying for our 2nd child next month. Hopefully acupuncture will do the trick again and I will get pregnant quickly.

January 27, 2014 - 10:03pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Hello
Congratulations for your baby. I would like to get pregnant too, I am 46. Could you let me know who is your acupuncturist & where is her office located. I'll apreciate it a lot.
Thanks
Mei-Ling

March 15, 2014 - 4:40pm
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

Our readers are coming from all over the world. In case she does not reply, you can look for acupuncturists in your area by a google search or asking friends, family or the medical community for reputable places that specialize in fertility. 

Good luck!

Susan

March 17, 2014 - 10:07am
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

I agree that acupuncture has positive effects on many conditions including fertility. Congratulations to you! Isn't it a pity acupuncture is expensive? I have to limit my visits too but have had great success with my digestive system. And in the end, it's far cheaper than fertility treatments! 

I encourage our readers looking into to this to consider acupuncture. While it's very possible to get pregnant after 40, the truth is that most women trying will have difficulties and these natural remedies can and do work for some women. 

Susan

February 1, 2014 - 2:55pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am happy for all of you. I want to have one more baby but am divorced and 43.
So crossing my fingers
keep me in the loop

January 8, 2014 - 5:50pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

i am 40 been trying baby for 12 months no luck. is that mean i cant get.pregnat? we dont have regular sex with my partner twice month used ovalation test a few times where happy face shows mean you r ovaleted but i still didnt get pregnant. amy period is regulary 26 days. i had blood test about fertility hormons the result was normal 55
i dont get pregnant because i am too old or need more time to try

November 17, 2013 - 7:20pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

If you have a regular 26 day cycle, you should ovulate on day 13 or 14. Watch for sticky clear vaginal discharge. I never really paid attention to it until I was trying to get pregnant and then it was super easy to notice. When you see that have sex that day and for the next day or two. Also, have your husband's sperm count checked to make sure he isn't the issue. I had no luck with the ovulation test kits. Good luck.

January 27, 2014 - 10:09pm
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

Thanks for your post!

If you have been trying for a year now and are 40, you need to see a doctor about IVF, even if your levels are normal. Have your partners sperm count checked too.

Even though some women have no problems in getting pregnant at 40, many do and it's time to discuss your options with your health care provider.

Best of luck to you!

Susan

January 8, 2014 - 11:10am
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

Thanks for your post!

Some women can easily get pregnant at 40 but most women cannot. You need to be having sex a lot more than you are - twice a month isn't enough regardless of ovulation tests. Have sex every other day from days 9 to 20 in your cycle. And I think it's a good idea to talk to your doctor about your options since it has been 12 months. Women over 35 who are trying to conceive are advised to seek medical advice if they are not pregnant within 6 months.

Don't worry yet! You are certainly not too old to have a baby, just have a lot more sex and talk to your doctor about fertility options.

Good luck, I hope you do get pregnant very soon!

Best,

Susan

November 18, 2013 - 1:06pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 45 with 3 kids 16,14,10 and I would love to be a mom again, but I am single please any advise? thanks!
Sabine

November 8, 2013 - 3:50am
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