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Q: 

Is 45 too old to have a baby??

By Anonymous April 9, 2009 - 11:14am
 
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I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.

My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

So what did you decide to do ? And how are you feeling with your decision?

September 16, 2015 - 2:24pm
(reply to Anonymous)

Im 40 just found out yesterday I'm 5 weeks, my husband and I have 3 children 11,8,and6.. We were just getting comfortable, a little freedom. No big car seats, no big babie carrier, no diaper bag...ect.
I'm in shock, I can't imagine the other alternatives.. But I can't imagine a new born either! theres so many scenarios flyin through my head..what ifs, and now whats.. I know I have to call my dr., gotta get meds switched, gotta do many drs. Appts. My job!? Lots of lifting! My insurance!? I understand your fears! Im feeling the sameway...its not morning sickness! its stress! Its not good for the baby! But is the baby good for me? Please keep in touch, and hang in there! All I can do is trust gods decision, because I look at my kids and can't imagine haven done the alternative!

September 3, 2015 - 5:49am
(reply to Anonymous)

Life is so funny...I am almost 44 and can't get pregnant. We are trying to adopt with no luck so far. Have you considered that as an option?

August 25, 2015 - 8:43am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I read all the comments and all are very helpful, especially the one saying that the man doesn't have baby in his first marriage, as i can relate to that issue. Thank you very much and more power to all.

July 30, 2015 - 4:40am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I think this might be a mistake. I think you should enjoy the children you have, and enjoy your life with your new husband. As well as being high-risk, having a baby in your mid-late 40's will be tremendously stressful even if everything goes perfectly. A lot of marriages don't survive this kind of stress. At least make sure you and your husband are fully aware of the risks.

July 20, 2015 - 4:37pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Reality check. You don't have the luxury of waiting a year or 2. Even if you were to begin trying immediately, your chances of conceiving naturally are basically nill. You've got a better chance of winning the lottery.

July 20, 2015 - 9:31am
(reply to Anonymous)

Well, then I guess I just won the lottery... I am 45 and conceived on my won... Currently 7 weeks along....

August 4, 2015 - 10:06pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Blessed momma)

Way to knock out the negative. :) Congrats and God Bless you on your pregnancy.

September 20, 2015 - 11:35am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Blessed momma)

Congratulations!!! Same here im 45 :)

August 23, 2015 - 3:32pm
(reply to Anonymous)

Anonymous, I don't know how old you are but "reality check" for you is that the current boom in babies is predominantly due to women in their 40's having them. As long as we have a regular menstrual/ovulation cycle we can conceive. I am 45 and 38w/4d pregnant. I'm healthy, my baby boy is healthy and he was conceived naturally (no meds/no assistance) in one try. I as well as the original poster married late in life and then chose to have children last December. The notion that a majority of people like yourself think that it is somehow "odd" that women in their 40's can have a baby naturally and with no issues (such as myself) is insane and quite frankly ignorant to the current statistical facts.

I hope you read through this thread to hear the stories and comments of many women in their 40s who have indeed conceived naturally with no issues so that your future comments on threads such as these offer encouragement rather than negativity.

July 20, 2015 - 9:52am
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