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I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE ANY HELP. HERE IS MY STORY... I HAVE BEEN WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS. IN THE BEGINNING OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS A BLAST HE ALWAYS GAVE SO MUCH OF HIMSELF AND ALWAYS PUT MY NEEDS FIRST. WHEN IT CAME TO THE SEXUAL SIDE OF THINGS, WELL BECAUSE OF THEY WAY I WAS RAISED AND ALSO MY PERSONAL BELIEVES WE NEVER WENT FURTHER THAN PLEASING EACH OTHER MANUALY, BUT IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT INTERCOURSE DID HAPPEN A FEW TIMES.
WE MOVED AWAY FROM HOME ABOUT A YEAR AGO TO BASICALLY START OVER IN OUR JOBS EXCTR...
I AM NOW AT A POINT IN OUR RELATIONSHIP WHERE I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THING FURTHER AS I LOVE HIM AND WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A FILLING SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP.
I KNOWS THAT BUT STILL SHOWS VERY LITTLE INTRESS IN ME. OF COURSE THIS HURTS MY FEELINGS SO MUCH AS I THOUGHT THIS IS WHAT HE WANTED.
I RECENTLY DESCOVERD THROUGH SELF CONFESSION FROM HIS SIDE AFTER CONFRONTATION FROM ME. THAT HE REGULARY WATCH PORN AND MASTURBATE.
WORDS CAN'T DESCRIBE MY FEELING OF DISCUSS AND HURT!
AND ALL ALONG I BLAMED IT ON HIS WORK STRESS OR ON MYSELF. I FEEL CHEATED AND BETRAYED AND FEEL LIKE I WILL NEVER TRUST HIM AGAIN.
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HIS REACTION. IS THIS NORMAL? AM I OVER REACTING? PLEASE ADVISE AND NO THERE IS NO ONE ELSE OF THAT I AM SURE.
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Porn addiction is so common with the advent of the internet. I too have suffered with a relationship where my boyfriend preferred to masturbate to pornography than to have sex with me, though I was very horny at the time. I too was terribly hurt as I saw it as cheating.
August 6, 2009 - 1:50pmHe would use porn and reject me all the time. He eventually realized that he was addicted and actually, though he liked the IDEA of sex with me, was not able to be turned on by one mere woman but needed all the variation, etc. that internet porn brought him.
The problem with addiction is that the person themselves needs to come to the realization that they are addicted. Your telling him will not do it!
What I did was to tell my boyfriend that I would not accept pornography in MY life and if he chose it over me, then so be it, though that would break my heart. I see it as enabling an alcoholic or a smoker.
Luckily he overcame his addiction and eventually we had great sex without any porn darkening our door.
I am now in a relationship with a different man who never uses porn and we have the best sex life either of us though imaginable.
Porn is very negative in relationships; it emasculates men, leaving them unable or unwilling to have sex with women they love, it makes women hurt and jealous and leaves them unable to get their needs met.
I feel bad for you that you are in this situation. It is not easy. Think about what you want and need from this man and good luck to you.The work stress doesn't help. Often the porn acts as a stress reliver...but you should be able to help him relieve his stress...if he will let you.
Porn is described as the "crack cocaine of the internet"....it is horribly addictive and the fact that there is no "back page" like in magazines of old, leaves a man totally unsatisfied, continually searching for the "perfect image". Some men spend hours daily trying to find it.
When they find images they "like", they usually masturbate and reach orgasm, making the association with the porn a positive one. You have to break the cycle.
Therapy can help but only if he wants help.
And remember that none of this is YOUR fault! You haven't done anything wrong.
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This is so true. and this is happing to me. i am a little heavy but he says it's not that i just ant home when he wants it or we never have time. but he never comes to me anymore or showes me he even wants it so when should i do he says he loves me more than anything but he knows i don't like the porn but when i ant here he does it and then when i want some at night he acts like he doesn't. PLease help me i don't know what to do.
March 11, 2010 - 8:53amThis Comment
Ever thought about that your men maybe didn't like to make sex with you, because youre sexually boring and then he has more needs than just to sleep with a 'willing women'???
February 11, 2010 - 5:47amThis Comment