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depressed ..need help please

By Anonymous July 9, 2009 - 5:18am
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Hi .I am 24 years old and I think I am into depression.I am a very talented person(always topped the university),very passionate about my work.I startd off well but lately i have made wrong decisions and ended up my career badly.I also lost my guy whom i loved so much.I always have health problems-its been 2 yrs now that i am on medication;on and off.These things have made me weak.I have lost my confidence compeltey.Feel no interest in living. everyone had so many expectations from me and i have let down.

My parents are very supportive.they are trying to help me as much as possible.but i am just quiet all the time.i dont feel like talking to anyone or when in a group.all say that i am lost.its been 4 months i am like this and i want to get out of it.its painful.please advise

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thank you for a wonderful reply Daine.It seems to be so true.Yes I am a perfectionist and as you described these poeple - i am just so similar to them ...infact i exactly act/behave the way you described them, and may be thats the root cause for my problems/state
And with regards to depression- i have not been into it anytime before as the way i am now.I do have my low times when i am totally down and high times when i am really excited.also i agree with you that sometimes i just feel that all is fine and there's nothing to worry about.i feel blessed ..on the contrary sometimes i feel too worried and that there is no way out.
whatsoever one thing that i am certain about- i am a strong person and i dont want to depend on any therapy or medicines.I would rather prefer to work it out myself and hence i posted my problem on this community.i heard yoga helps good to destress yourself.i have been through few sessions and i found it to be good.
is it possible for you to share some articles as to how "the perfectionists " could tackle themselves.it would be very interesting.
Request you to post your comment on what you feel about my description above.
thank you rosa for your kind words.thank you both of you.

July 11, 2009 - 12:06pm

Hi, Anon. I'm so glad you found us at EmpowHer.

I want to agree with Rosa -- what you are experiencing is very normal and happens to a lot of us at times during our lives.

At 24, you may feel like you have made a lot of mistakes and that you have screwed everything up, but you are actually really young -- and I'll bet that you have learned a lot from every road you have taken. The truth is we all make those same kinds of mistakes. We want to do well and then we screw something up. We fall in love, but it's with the wrong person. We make a bad judgment here or there. And we end up thinking that we're in a ditch that we can never get out of.

I can tell that you are really hard on yourself. Are you a perfectionist? I am. I suspect you are, from the way you write about yourself. And here's what's hard about perfectionists: We tend to believe that if we don't do it to the VERY best it can be done, it's not worth doing at all. If we can't get an A, we almost don't want to try. If we can't excel, we feel almost worthless. And if we risk something, or make a big mistake, we feel like we can never catch up again.

Does any of that sound like you?

Depression does go away. Sometimes it goes away on its own. It can go away with therapy and it can go away with medication. And studies have shown that people get over it more quickly if they use a combination of both. Can you go to a doctor and talk to her or him about what's going on? You will be surprised how much it will help you to just have an appointment on your calendar with someone who will understand what you're feeling.

The feelings of having let people down are normal, but honestly, I don't think they are nearly as strong or true as it feels like to you. You say your parents are very supportive, which is absolutely wonderful. Lean on them and ask them to help you find someone to go see if that helps you do it.

I have been through a depression and I know how painful it is. You just have to take one baby step, and then another. That's all. First, get an appointment. Next, go to the appointment. And next, see what that doctor or therapist says, and try to focus on little things.

And if there's one thing you can do on your own -- more than anything else -- it's to get a little exercise. Even if it just starts with a walk around the block. Exercise helps depression a LOT because of the chemicals that get moving in our brains.

Please write back and update us. And like Rosa said, if there's any more we can help you with, please let us know.

July 10, 2009 - 9:16am

Dear Anon, thank you for your post.

I'm very sorry that you are feeling depressed, though I do want to reassure you that everything you are going through seems very normal to me, we have all done things and will do things in our lives that we are not so proud or had less than great outcomes, the key is knowing how to put it past us as a bump in the road and moving on to make the necessary changes.

To get the help that you rightfully deserve, I recommend seeing a psychologist to properly diagnose your illness. Depression is extremely common and can be treated. If you need help finding a doctor in your area, I recommend using this website. http://www.mentalhelp.net/ and it will help you find a therapist around your zip code. If you feel like you cannot afford a therapist, do not let that stop you. You may start by contacting different therapists and asking if they work on a sliding scale, in which they charge you based on what you can afford. If you have a large University around your area, you can also call them and ask for their Psychiatry department and sometimes they will refer you to a doctor who will be significantly less expensive than a therapist in private practice.

I wish you the best of luck, remember you have already made the first step to your recovery simply by contacting empowher. If you have any other questions, please do not hesitate to ask.

July 9, 2009 - 5:57am
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