Facebook Pixel

Depression that has killed our family- ideas?

By November 26, 2011 - 4:21pm
Rate This

I currently live in a toxic environment where I know my husband needs some help. He doesn't believe he has a problem. I see him spirialing more and more downward- for the past year and a half. We don't do anything as a family and can barely eat at the table together. He won't take Prozac and refuses counseling (we can't afford anyway) ... this all stems from an unfortunate job elimination from an executive level position - he has fallen hard. I'm afraid we will never replace the lost income and he is older (almost 64 now) and the discrimination is palatable for older workers. No one wants an older worker and doing minimum wage jobs is humilating for him. This situation is also horrendous for our teenagers and with that, it puts me on the 3rd rail. I am working...24/7 but it's still not enough. I am at my wits end. We don't dare speak to each other or we will fight like electric barb wire. I hate the idea of ripping my kids hearts out with a divorce, but it just might be the best thing for all of us. Anyone else out there experiencing this quagmire of a problem? This rotten economy has really ruined lots of families because their is no movement in the job market. It's like an opportunity-less economy. I'm just lucky we can live in different places of our house.

Add a Comment2 Comments

EmpowHER Guest

Hi Lisa,

Your story is very similar to many stories and yes, the economy is just out of control. I share in your story as I too will be losing my job in about 3 months with nowhere to go. My house will be foreclosed on and not sure what the next step in life will be. I am very proud yet have found myself in that situational depression that is caused by the unknown. I finally went to the doctor as I am 34 years old and thought I was having a heart attack only to find out that I am having panic attacks.


This situation is tough for anyone, not just the older generation but this is seen for my generation also. Unemployment compensation doesn't even make the mortgage payment and even I am turned down for jobs daily. Please don't think it is only you, there are so many of us going through the same process. Family will be the strongest and most important thing right now. Yes, I know what it feels to go through the proud feeling that your husband is going through, but reality will set in quick and we must learn to let go of our egos for a job. I am optimistic that there is a brighter future but it may take some time to get there. Don't give up...tell him every day to not give up hope. Keep trying for those jobs, try to keep him busy with possibly learning a new skill...we are never too old to learn. I often made a joke, as I am currently working on a doctoral program that I will be standing in a window saying, "Welcome to McDonalds, my name is Dr. Cortes, may I take your order?" Unfortunately, we still have to survive and cover our basic necessities of life regardless of our ego.



I am not sure if this will help but perhaps knowing that your family is not the only one will help with a little more patience and understanding that this is a growing problem but with lots of love and understanding, the family is what will help us all get through the rough times.


I am sending you a hug so tight through the technology that has provided us the ability to talk. Keep the faith that there will be change. It may not happen overnight and there may be that period of the McDonalds stories but one day, there will be a period of time when you can say you made it through this. Please keep us posted.



November 27, 2011 - 5:44am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Thank you Dr. Cortes! :) I actually smiled! appreciate your kind words. Best of luck to you in the future too!

November 27, 2011 - 9:53am
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.



Get Email Updates

Related Checklists

Depression Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!