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6 months ago I had my first genital herpes outbreak. I am 24 years old slowly but surely accepting my condition and dealing with it accordingly. Fast forward.
I met someone I like and told him I had the virus for genital herpes and currently on suppressive medication for two months now (I take 400mg acyclovir twice a day). I explained to him that taking this medication and having protected sex lowers his chance of being infected. I haven't had any outbreak since I begun taking the medication. I know the virus can be shed but shedding reduces because I am on medication. He seemed to understand but yesterday we had protected sex yesterday (the sex was great) but after he had a panic attack :(. It stressed me out so much that for a split second I was thinking about not disclosing my status to any potential partner again. Next day he texted me that the attack was triggered by him thinking about catching the infection and/ or passing it to his daughter.
How can I explain to him that we can still be intimate and protect him? For example,
1. How does one know that they are shedding the virus?
2. Can he perform me oral sex on me?
3. Can he finger me and still be protected?
4. Can we cuddle while naked?
5. Can I spread him the virus if I have vaginal cuts from rough sex?
6. What is the risk of transmission from female to male?
7. Should my medication be changed to valacyclovir to lower the risk of transmission to him?
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Hello Saha14
Thank you for writing!
I will answer your questions as received. Please remember your doctor is the best person to address your enquiries to.
1. One may never know they are shedding their virus. Many people with the virus don't even know they have it in the first place but can still pass it on. That's the nature of this virus.
January 9, 2018 - 3:02pm2. He can perform oral sex on you if there is no outbreak but he still runs the risk of infection.
3. As above, depending on aftercare of his skin.
4. As above, with no outbreak but there is a risk of skin to skin genital contact.
5. Vaginal cuts from rough sex isn't healthy in the first place. Genital damage from sex should be avoided.
6. The risk of female-to-male transmission is slightly lower.
7. We cannot assist in medication decisions - you will have to have a chat with your doctor about that.
Best,
Susan
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