I'm 19 years old, My boyfriend and i agreed to wait but, my sex drive is so high.. when my boy friend gets me started (which is not really hard) he literally has to hold me down so i do not force myself on him.. is there anyway i can control this?!?
please help,
MKF
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Hi, MKF, and welcome to EmpowHer! Thanks so much for your question.
Let me ask you a couple of questions. How long do your boyfriend and you plan to wait to have sex? Are you planning marriage? Or is this possibility a long way off?
Because the key to this is going to have to come from you, MKF. Sex drive is an individual thing, and a decision to wait is a big deal. Do you really want to wait? Or are you sort of wishing that that wasn't the case?
Have you had sex with other boyfriends before? If so, is that partially why it is hard to wait with this boyfriend?
When you say that you have to be literally held down to keep yourself from forcing yourself on him, is that really what you mean? That you have impulses that take over that you are not in control of, and that you would force your boyfriend -- which is rape -- to have sex with you even if he doesn't want to?
Somehow, I am thinking it's not quite that far, but that you just really really love being with him and that when you feel good and are kissing or messing around with him that it's hard to stop. Maybe even VERY hard to stop. But that's still different from forcing yourself on him.
Can you tell me a little more about all this? Do you think you need help with impulse control? Are you like this in any other areas of your life?
July 21, 2009 - 8:45amThis Comment
Hello and thank you for replying. our current plan is to wait three months. I have not had sex before so it will be my first time, and i want to be sure. we have only been dating a couple weeks.
I am not sure if i would actually rape my boyfriend but it is impossible for me to stop.. so much that my boy friend has to hold me until i calm down. i have not had this problem before, so it worries me alot.
I am an implusive person. i smoke ocasionally and when i am around some one else smoking i have to smoke.. it has always been hard for me to resist impluses. is there anything i can do?
I have not seen a doctor for this yet but am considering it.
July 22, 2009 - 9:31amHi, MKF. Here's a great page on impulse control disorders. There are several; some are very destructive (pyromania or kleptomania) and others are less destructive but are in the same category (not being able to stop picking at your skin, for instance). If any of this sounds familiar or important to you, I'd be glad to try to find you some more information:
http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/impulse-control-disorders.html
July 22, 2009 - 10:24ami am 27 year old men my issue is i do not sex yet what i do n what can i do i am muslim person thats why i avoid sexusal activity
October 25, 2010 - 1:47pmHi, I have a similar issue... I cant ever seem to get enough sex... since i got pregnant my sex drive has been so high, and i dont know how to control it. Any suggestions?
November 14, 2011 - 3:13pmHI i am 20 years old
December 13, 2011 - 6:29pmi always talk with my husband but he stays in different state which is far away from me but while i talk to my husband i feel sex inside like i wish i could get him right now which is my sex gets out of control . sometimes i m passing hard time and everything gets wet. can u give me any idea like what can i do about it?