ask: I'm a virgin. Will men not want to have sex with me because my vagina isn't pretty?

Hi,
Well, just to get the terms right: your vagina is the opening to your cervix and uterus. Your vulva is the outer part, which includes the labia, which include "outer lips" and "inner lips".

It is completely normal: women have labia that are different in sizes, colors, shapes and even textures (some are smooth and some are wrinkly).

It does not sound like you are concerned with anything being wrong with your labia; just that you can not imagine someone else finding them attractive! It is an interesting question, and one that adults even wonder themselves. I would even venture a guess that everyone has felt this way at one time or another--men and women.

Depending on your view, genitalia may not be "aesthetically pleasing" on either gender. Men and women are told to "cover up" these parts. There are parts that are wrinkly, or smooth, or have hair, or are hanging down too much or not enough.

I'm not sure what I can say to ease your fears. Young men who are also 18 years are likely fearing that you are thinking their genitals don't look good: too small, too short, too wrinkly, too this, too that. Another way to look at it: do you find that you are attracted to the opposite sex's "private parts"? (assuming you are heterosexual). If so, that may be all the reassurance you need that the opposite sex also finds your "private parts" attractive, sexy and desirable. Please write back if you think there is something "wrong" about your labia. Have you been to a gynecologist yet? If you are thinking about becoming sexually active, now is the time to go, and your doctor will tell you if anything is "wrong".

I highly recommend reading The Vagina Monologues, as it is an easy read and is liberating to hear women talk about what they hate (and love) about their vaginas, labias, vulvas and the like.

Hi Anonymous,

Thank you for your question. I can assure you that you are normal.

Your labia minora (inner lips) can be naturally larger than the labia
majora (outer lips). This is perfectly normal.

Your genital appearance will change in your lifetime. They can become stretched
out once you have children or sex. According to Student Health from Oregon University,
labia minora can be stretched regardless of how often you've had intercourse.

There is plastic surgery options if you are concerned about your appearance. You
find information here http://studenthealth.oregonstate.edu/answerspot
/message.php?message=1502.

I hope this helps. Let us know what you decide.

I'm a guy (last I checked) and I think I speak for most men when I say that it doesn't matter. And if there is a guy for whom it matters, he certainly isn't worth sharing something as valuable as your sexuality with.

As a mother of a daughter, your not having had sex at the "ripe old age of 18" is a good thing. Don't be in such a rush to lose your virginity, especially in this day and age of rampant sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

It's more important for you to maintain your self respect. The right person will eventually come into your life.

The most common worry for women about their "parts" is that the inner labia are too long and a bit wrinkly...as far as I've ever seen, this is more normal than not. They are meant to be like this, in my estimation.
Surely your face is far more important!? That is what men find pretty!
I hope that it's not just your lady bits that he'll be talking to! If so...he is not worth the time of day!

I've never seen a "pretty vagina"....that's like an oxymoron! Flowers and birds are pretty, faces are pretty, puppies are pretty...lady's and men's parts are not so much!

haha - Anon - you got that right!

i will say guys wont dislike it... i personally likes it tat way. so dont worry.. have a great life .. dont go for premarital sex. its not worth it.