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Mirena IUD

By June 4, 2012 - 9:36am
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I'm not a her, but a him. I'm hoping this question can help me and my wife as I'm at a 100% loss here. I am 33 and her 27

About 3 years ago my wife got the mirena IUD and since then her sex drive has gone down so much that now we have sex maybe 1 time a month. At first when I brought it up she blamed me and my anger (i do get upset and yell, nothing more), so I worked on it. It's tons better, but nothing changed. We work together and drive one car to/from work so I know there is no cheating going on. She just has no drive at all. I read all over the net about women with mirena having this happen, but everytime i bring it up she states the reason she isn't interested is because of me and no matter how nicely I bring it up she gets offended and says I am pressuring her. So for 1-2 months I won't bring it up and we won't have sex at all. When i bring it up enough eventually she will do the "okay, fine, lets get this over with" as if it's a chore.

I am just at a loss to do because she won't even consider it being the IUD at all. It's always me and I think 3 years of this is being pretty patient? My anger is way less then it use to be, I've tried doing things for her, making dinners, going out on dates, bringing her breakfast (like this morning), and nothing ever changes. She just has NO interest in sex anymore...

Help? I love her to death, but I am so frustrated it kills me. We have friends who are close to divorce and going through a bad time and they even joke around about having sex last night, etc. As if even though there marriage is having problems they still have biological desires that need to be met?

I'm hoping some women can give me some suggestions here as honestly I feel beyond unwanted and am at a 100% loss at what to do after dealing with this for years now.

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HERWriter Guide

Hi justcorey

Not every woman has a problem with Mirena so you will have to take her at her word that it's not Mirena. If you have suggested this over and over and she says that's not the problem, then you have to go with that.

She has already told you what the problem is - she says she's just not interested in you - sexually. It sounds like she's being truthful and that you want it to be due to the Mirena because it's naturally a horrible feeling to think that she's just not interested in you. Nobody wants to think that.  But if she is being honest and telling you this, you can't deny that it may be true, as unfortunate as that is.

You can ask her if she wants to remain in this marriage as a husband and wife (technically, you have what's called a sexless marriage) or if she wants out. If she wants out, she needs to be honest with you so that you have the chance of happiness that you deserve.



June 4, 2012 - 11:47am
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