ask: My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me. Is there anything I can do?

Try sleep naked with him.

From what you've written, I think you two just need to relax. Nightly sex does NOT equate to love, and it IS possible to feel daily stress from work.

Stop beating yourself up mentally and give the guy some space. Communication is important in a healthy, lasting relationship. It sounds like you two need to talk this out.

Anon

Thanks for your question!

I'm sorry you are having difficulties in this area; I'm curious - are you having sex at all, or has the frequency decreased?

The first three years of a relationship often see the most sexual activity. After than it tends to be slightly less frequent, although some people are hot and heavy for life!

Your boyfriend may be feeling he is in a bit of a relationship slump. He may not be feeling the same way about you and is afraid to face it, or he may genuinely be facing such stress that his sex drive is really affected. This happens to people a lot; stress and fatigue are often to blame for loss of libido. So is depression - do you think he may be depressed?

Congrats on working to get fitter and healthier but I don't think some extra weight is the issue.

What else is going on besides no sex? Are you still cuddling, holding hands, chatting together and hanging out? Is everything in your relationship still the same, besides the issue with sex? Or have you noticed changes elsewhere, too?

I am going through a bit of the same problem. Except my boyfriend keeps telling me he doesn't want to have sex because it makes him really really tired afterwards where he just wants to sleep. And he hates that sleepyness, as do I. So I feel as with me it's more of a medical problem, but it still makes me feel insecure because I feel like he doesn't even want to make love to me. We've been fighting about it and I don't like it at all.

But anyway, I've been researching this all on the internet at it seems that the lack of sex from guys does sort of comes from the lack of mystery. And too much time together too, I feel, might be the problem. When you're with someone all of the time that sense of wanting sex attraction kind of goes. Of course they still think that you're sexy and hot, but to actually feel aroused by it might be a different thing. It's kind of like people just getting used to things. As the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I don't know how much time you guys spend together, but I suggest for all those women who do spend most of their time with their loving man, that you should seek some quiet or even fun time by yourself while letting your man indulge in his own time. Then when it's time to meet again, dress up super sexy, but don't tell him you want sex! I guess my guess is to just try and reenact that feeling of when you first met your lover.

I really don't know what to think except its very stressful to me !! You feel like it's you that he's not attractive to anymore. I've got all these reasons why he maybe doesn't want to have sex anymore but all it does is hurts my feelings and frustrates me to no end!! I have also been with this guy almost three years. I love him to death but sex is not that big of a deal but it could be I have Multiple Schlerosis and I'm just the opposite not having sex is not a option with me. Please any input I would appreciate!!

Thank you for your question Billie. I understand your frustration. Is your diagnosis of MS new? If you had your diagnosis for the past three years, I doubt it would be effecting your relationship now.

The above post is very important to understand. I think that spontaneity is pretty important in a relationship to keep the spark alive and this may be a great idea to try and distance yourself so he misses you. Mystery is simple but as stated above, so important. Do you both live together?