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My boyfriend is younger than me and I am afraid that people notice.

By Anonymous September 1, 2009 - 11:53pm
 
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I am 37 and my boyfriend is 30. We have been together for over five years now and are very much in love. We are on the same page about marriage and babies and are figuring things out together. I have never been so happy with a man or been with one who, though younger than me, is so at ease with himself and mature for any age. And he is super crazy about me.
The problem? It's me! I look young for my age and am what most poeple would call very pretty. I am super fit and active and bubbly and youthful. The issue? Well, recently an aquaintance of mine asked me if my boyfriend and I were "different ages". I just knew that she meant that she felt he was younger than me. I know that I shouldn't care and that in five years, this is the only time that this has happened but it upset me a lot. I see us as similiar. We are. If someone sees us together they usually say "hot couple" or "you would make beautiful babies". My guy is handsoem as I am pretty.

This aquaintance saw me as older than him. I know that this is probably going to happen at least occasionally as we get older but it hurts me. I spoke to my man about it and he just old me that he sees us as the same age and that I am beautiful and she probably didn't mean anything by it but I can't get it out of my head. I am NOT the cougar type and don't care about Demi Moore...besides there is only seven years between us. The thing is that my man looks young too! So if I look 28, he looks 22!
Any advice? I need to let go of these negative feelings as i don't want to soil our realtionship with my insecurities.

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi I am 18 and my boyfriend is only 16 and I am being teased over that what should i d.. I really like him and he really like me

February 1, 2016 - 11:10am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Your age difference seems so minor to me. I'm 48 and my boyfriend is 28. We've been together a five years now. Most people don't care/notice - we're pretty silly together so I guess most people find us a bit curious but happier than most couples so we don't get too heavily judged. But yeah - I've had situations where I felt self-conscious. Waitresses pointedly carding him and not me. Direct rude questions on my age from jealous girls his age. Still, I try to remind myself - no thanks to society - that older does not equal less attractive. I'm attractive, and not just "for my age" and he is too - but even if we weren't -- there's way more to us than that and in the end of the day - we try to make one another happy and I think that's the most important thing.

October 3, 2015 - 11:49pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Your age difference seems so minor to me. I'm 48 and my boyfriend is 28. We've been together a five years now. Most people don't care/notice - we're pretty silly together so I guess most people find us a bit curious but happier than most couples so we don't get too heavily judged. But yeah - I've had situations where I felt self-conscious. Waitresses pointedly carding him and not me. Direct rude questions on my age from jealous girls his age. Still, I try to remind myself - no thanks to society - that older does not equal less attractive. I'm attractive, and not just "for my age" and he is too - but even if we weren't -- there's way more to us than that and in the end of the day - we try to make one another happy and I think that's the most important thing.

October 3, 2015 - 11:49pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi
I am 37 and my boyfriend is 26 I have a daughter she is 13 he accepted everything he loves me and I see and feel it but I am so scared I no he wants one day children I can't wait years we never talk about it what should I do leave him for him to meet a younger girl or talk to him I love him so much what should I do???

September 10, 2015 - 7:31pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon
Of course you should talk to him! People need to be able to communicate together or it's not much of a relationship.

Your boyfriend knows your age, I assume. So he knows your time is limited to have a child. Be practical and talk together about your options. If he wants to wait another 10 years to have a child then the relationship may not work. Don't have a child to keep him, only have a child if you yourself really want one. It's a lifetime commitment, unlike many marriages!
Best,
Susan

September 11, 2015 - 4:23am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I see where you are coming from. Have you managed to overcome the age issue? I was seeing a younger guy for about three months. When we met he told me he was 23 (i'm 29) and i had no reason not to believe him. I have since found out that he is actually 21 which means he lied to me for three months. He said it was because he thought i wouldn't be interested in him and wanted to get to know me first. I dont know what to do now. I feel so angry that he could have lied to me. I dont know what to do.

July 18, 2015 - 11:45pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I totally sympathise with you. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and the relationship is great, but when we first met he told me he was 28 (I would have been 34 at the time) but in actual fact he lied and was actually only 23! I was pretty furious at the time, but his explanation was that I wouldn't have given him a chance (which is true) and that he was scared to tell me incase I left him.
The point I'm trying to make is that yes lies are bad, but if there is a real spark there and you have fun together, what do you have to loose? I made it clear that I would not tolerate any more dishonesty, and the relationship is the best most healthy one I have ever had.
Xx

January 12, 2016 - 3:00am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Forgive him...samething hapen to me with my boyfriend. I was disappointed he lied but if you guys love each other dont let it go.

August 24, 2015 - 9:15pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

My boyfriend lied to me about his age he said he was 22 when we first started dating i found out 2months later tht he lied he was four years. Younger than me and by then my family. Already knew we were together and they liked him so i continued dating him because i love him when im 30 he wil be 26

July 14, 2015 - 3:37pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Im 22 and my boyfriend is 18 years old and we're expecting a baby but im still bothered by our 4 year age gap.. His mother adores me and has accepted me but i dnt. Whether il ever be ohk with our age difference

July 14, 2015 - 3:23pm
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