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ask: My boyfriend is younger than me and I am afraid that people notice.

By Anonymous
 
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I am 37 and my boyfriend is 30. We have been together for over five years now and are very much in love. We are on the same page about marriage and babies and are figuring things out together. I have never been so happy with a man or been with one who, though younger than me, is so at ease with himself and mature for any age. And he is super crazy about me.
The problem? It's me! I look young for my age and am what most poeple would call very pretty. I am super fit and active and bubbly and youthful. The issue? Well, recently an aquaintance of mine asked me if my boyfriend and I were "different ages". I just knew that she meant that she felt he was younger than me. I know that I shouldn't care and that in five years, this is the only time that this has happened but it upset me a lot. I see us as similiar. We are. If someone sees us together they usually say "hot couple" or "you would make beautiful babies". My guy is handsoem as I am pretty.

This aquaintance saw me as older than him. I know that this is probably going to happen at least occasionally as we get older but it hurts me. I spoke to my man about it and he just old me that he sees us as the same age and that I am beautiful and she probably didn't mean anything by it but I can't get it out of my head. I am NOT the cougar type and don't care about Demi Moore...besides there is only seven years between us. The thing is that my man looks young too! So if I look 28, he looks 22!
Any advice? I need to let go of these negative feelings as i don't want to soil our realtionship with my insecurities.

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi everyone.
I just broke up with my bf because of the age difference. Although I look younger than my age.. He's almost 30 and I am 37. We were together for 5 months - but literally together, sleeping over almost every day. He treated me probably the best than any other man I dated. He loved me a lot, or at least he thought so.. He took care of me, took me out whenever he could, exhibited his affection always and everywhere. Age was never an issue, although I spoke to him regarding the fact that I don't want to waste years getting to know someone etc.. I want kids soon. I feel I don't have too much time. He wasn't scared. He told me that he has no problem with that and everything was great, besides the fact that he was a little immature in insignificant things, but which man really isn't? Until one day a colleague of his was a little drunk and asked him if I was older than him and added "why don't you like younger girls, they are cuter"!!! And then something struck me! I will have to go through this all the time..
I told him that we are probably not good for each other due to that fact in brief. I hurt him.. He spoke with his friends and they actually agreed that I was probably right! So now he told me that I insisted so much on that, that I persuaded him..
I had my thoughts on the future before, regarding my looking older and him wanting a younger girl at some point, we are women and we know how men are.. although he never let me think like that, it was my own insecurity.
In the beginning, he was chasing me, then I missed him too much. The fact that he changed his mind, isn't a good sign. Either he listens to other ppl too much or he's just hurt. Not sure. Time will tell.
Either way I feel terrible. It cost me more than i thought. If this actually ends here I will make every effort to never be with a younger guy again, although I attract them. As someone wrote before, its hard enough to build a good relationship, putting a 7 yr difference in can't make it easier. I do know a married couple with the same difference though. They've been together for years and now she's expecting her first child at 42.
I feel so lost with everything and sad. So much prejudice. Why does the woman always have to be younger? When and why was this established? Back in the day when women were not educated and didn't make a living and their sole purpose was to reproduce, cook and clean, so they married very young to older men. How nice.. Things have changed. I feel I was a coward.
These are my thoughts. Good luck to any woman in the same situation. All the best

February 7, 2015 - 12:26am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Hi there, I am two posts beneath you. I also seem to only attract younger men. If you ever figure out why that happens, please let me know.

February 7, 2015 - 8:27am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 36 and he is 23; we are so much in love :) Sometimes I feel insecure of myself. I am used to date guys who are really sex addicts but this boy seems to be more interested in cuddling, playing, watching movies... I mean, is this normal?

February 6, 2015 - 12:10pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I wrote on this site before. In my experience, all of my fears about him not being mature enough to handle my lifestyle came true. Now he is my ex boyfriend. He didn't understand why my teenage kids couldn't see him as a father figure. He didn't have patience with the two jobs I have in order to pay my mortgage and support my family. He was upset that I don't have a lot of time for him. And my kids were upset that he was always around and we couldn't have family time alone. We broke up and all of that stress is gone. I don't have to deal with his immaturity. I don't have to explain life and my kids to him all the time. He doesn't suffocate every second of my free time. I'm dating someone my age who understands my life and has similar life experiences and problems. I am so glad I'm in a more compatible and happier relationship.

February 2, 2015 - 7:04pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 26 yrs old and my b.f is 3yrs younger to me but he really loves me...but age differnce is the prblm due to which sometimes i want to break up with him.what shall i do?

February 1, 2015 - 7:06am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

i am 14 and my boyfriend is 13

February 1, 2015 - 7:04am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 23 and twice older women in their 50s asked me lf he's my son. It really hurts my feelings.

January 18, 2015 - 9:16pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 23 and twice older women in their 50s asked me lf he's my son. It really hurts my feelings.

January 18, 2015 - 9:13pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Okay,I have you all beat. My boyfriend is 34 and I am 51. He looks younger and so do I but he definitely could be, looks like and is young enough to be my son. I am successful and comfortable financially and I am sure that helps. We have been together for 1 1/2 years and love each other very much. People have commented on his being my son and he says he is my step-son and his father passed away. I say, yes he is my son, except I sleep with him! Often I want to break-up but he adores me and I adore him! Our plan is to get married but I feel very uncomfortable with the age difference. Good Luck!

January 9, 2015 - 11:52pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

How do you manage it? I mean, sex... I am 36 and my BF is 23; the first weeks he was like a sex addict but now he seems to be more interested in cuddling, planing the future, convincing me to move with him. -in 2 weeks we have done it twice... I mean, with my ex partners, who were some years older than I, it was completely different, they seemed to want more all the time. And he is faithful I know because he is with me all the time. I know I am not an ugly woman but I wonder what's happening and the worst part is that I am in my 30s' and I am hornier than ever before! Have you had the same problem?

February 6, 2015 - 12:16pm
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