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ask: My boyfriend is younger than me and I am afraid that people notice.

By Anonymous
 
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I am 37 and my boyfriend is 30. We have been together for over five years now and are very much in love. We are on the same page about marriage and babies and are figuring things out together. I have never been so happy with a man or been with one who, though younger than me, is so at ease with himself and mature for any age. And he is super crazy about me.
The problem? It's me! I look young for my age and am what most poeple would call very pretty. I am super fit and active and bubbly and youthful. The issue? Well, recently an aquaintance of mine asked me if my boyfriend and I were "different ages". I just knew that she meant that she felt he was younger than me. I know that I shouldn't care and that in five years, this is the only time that this has happened but it upset me a lot. I see us as similiar. We are. If someone sees us together they usually say "hot couple" or "you would make beautiful babies". My guy is handsoem as I am pretty.

This aquaintance saw me as older than him. I know that this is probably going to happen at least occasionally as we get older but it hurts me. I spoke to my man about it and he just old me that he sees us as the same age and that I am beautiful and she probably didn't mean anything by it but I can't get it out of my head. I am NOT the cougar type and don't care about Demi Moore...besides there is only seven years between us. The thing is that my man looks young too! So if I look 28, he looks 22!
Any advice? I need to let go of these negative feelings as i don't want to soil our realtionship with my insecurities.

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Most people do not believe I am 41 years old, I do not believe it myself. Most would put my age at late 20's , early 30's. I actually do not know where time went but my boyfriend is 28years old, soon to be 29yrs. He treats me like a queen and says Im the sexiest girl ever. We have a 12year age difference. I do not act or look 41yrs old. I have a high fertility rate too!. Niether of us has kids but im secretly trying to convince him to have kids. He is the best boyfriend I have ever had. And he is absolutely gorgeous. So for the poster a 7yr age difference is Nothing.

October 22, 2014 - 9:09am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Girls! I am 31 and my beloved boyfriend is 24! I have never met better person in my life so far! He is just amazing! He is so loving, carrying, sensitive, respectful, responsible and has a great sense of empathy. He is a great listener and so wise and mature! I was able to see his kind personality since I saw him for the very first time! So honest person!
I have never been happier in my life! He treats me like a princess! We spend the time together, we talk about having family in the future like something very natural to us. We just have the same attitude to life and the same values! I just can go on talking about how much I adore hime and love him and how happy he is making me. But of course the age difference!!!! So judged within the society! But I am tired of it! GIRLS! LADIES! WOMEN!!!! We should be proud having younger partners! They see us as sexy, beautiful creatures despite we are older. And be honest here! Its not aging what make us being mature! There might be the age difference however you can be a perfect match to each other just because you are at the same level of understanding the life!
Just be happy and live the life as you want and not how the society wants you!!!!

August 3, 2014 - 3:01pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

If a a man is attracted to you and u are older, chances are you look younger and are attractive. Just realize it ! And so you might age faster, so what. If they love you theyll mention it and talk about it. Its better than being ditched. It proves they love you. Just fix it if its bothersome. Really? Yeah. Really. If my man got fat or grew a beard I hated..... well, you b the judge.

July 17, 2014 - 5:44pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I have a friend that she is 33 and a 21 yr old guy like her a lot.she enjoys his company and she smiles a lot with him.she hasn't felt like this in a while,cuz of her last relationship she's been in with other guys. She know he is much younger than her but she worried about the age in difference. What can I tell her? Is even ok for the big age in differences.,to even work out?

June 4, 2014 - 10:10am
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

Tell your friend to enjoy her life as it is and enjoy the company of her boyfriend. As you said, he makes he smile! What other people think should be irrelevant. Whether it works out or not remains to be seen and like all relationships, will depend on lots of factors and not just age. 

Best,

Susan

June 10, 2014 - 10:29am
Anchalee

same issue !!!

34, my bf is 23. He treats me in best way that a person could be treated.
I compared from my ex, totally the opposite side. I actually feeling happy everyday with him...I laugh more, smile more than i use to be. But still Im hurting myself by the thought of "I must pull back." I shouldnt completely give all myself to him becuase i might get hurt anytime by this awkward relationship. "I cannot allow myself to get burened by this!!!" I always urgue with myself like a crazy person!!! Its so hurtful !!

Although he alwys confirm me strongly that he is very serious with our relationship and he is not playing around with me and he hope that Im not playing around with him too !!! Well I always find myself stuck and being cornerd by not knowing what else to do or to think about this since its not fair for him if Im being the onlyone who will always being prepared to leave this relationship anytime while he is not, instead that he is giving all of himself to me. But !!! we are women. What if we got dumbed in old age??? And our nature >>> We will stick with the man we loved, thats for sure!! and the fact is, we women could easily got dumbed whenever we give all of ourself to men we loved>> sometimes even without knowing >_

February 12, 2014 - 9:50pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm 32 and my boyfriend is 28 but he looks even younger than his age.. We've been together 5 years and in this time 4 complete strangers thought I was his mother :-/ everyone else who ever met us didn't think that but these 5 strangers bother me a lot. Relationships are supposed to make you feel good not feel 50 20 years too early :-( . It is so depressing...so I know very well how you feel but haven't got a solution yet. Personally, nver had an issue with age but thought of ending the relationship many times nobody wants to feel like their boyfriend's mother..

May 1, 2013 - 11:19pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

OMG 5 years is not a big difference at all! My boyfriend is 24 will be 25 in November. I'm 29 and will be 30 in June. People can't tell an age difference between both of us. Why do you think you look older? Maybe is more of an insecurity of yours. You shouldn't look old enough to be his mother at age 32 when really from 28 to 32 isn't really a big difference. Maybe try to change your hairstyle, go to the gym, dress more fashionable. The other day we went out with a friend of his who is also 24 and his girlfriend that's 21. She asked my age and I lied and told her 25 and she didn't believe me because she said she thought I was 23 or so. So I highly doubt you look like his mother but if you feel like it and act like it then you will look like it.

May 2, 2013 - 5:56am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

it sucks - we had our time great 2.5 years and he broke up with me because of the age difference ... like he noticed it after those years ....

YEARS should not matter - if there is love it great if it is not than the age gap is just excuse

April 16, 2013 - 7:29pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm gay, and 20 years old. My boyfriend is 34. Age is always on my mind but I feel we are on the same level of maturity. I shouldn't actually say always but it is on my mind a lot. I can say we have a lot in common and he makes me smile and laugh. But like all relationships we have some issues. I wish the world was more excepting to age different relationships but it isn't and I deal with it. I would give him the world and he would do the same for me. Human is human, u cant say because someones skin is older then the persons skin they are in love with is wrong, because skin is skin. Animals do it too. If u are in love nothing should tare you apart, ESPECIALLY the judgemental viscous grip of society.

March 17, 2013 - 11:45pm
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