Lately, the relationship between me and my boyfriend has gone through a very rough patch but I now think we are on the end, however, I still feel sad, different and unloved. It all kicked off when I found a photo of Hayley Williams topless on his laptop, saved in a secret file, back in September. It hurt me unbelievably, but he promised me that his mate Paul had saved it on his computer. The other night, we discussed it again and he finally admitted that he had saved it after he had got home from Paul's house that night, after A LOT of different lies and stories. Straight away, I wanted to break up with him, as I never thought he would do something like that. He has always said he'd never do something like that but he said he did it because he was curious and wanted to see her boobs as she was a well-known famous person, but how could he be curious when his friend Paul had already showed him the image a couple of times before my boyfriend Will actually went home, searched for it himself, and saved it in a secret file. On Monday, we cried all day and he begged me not to leave him. We parted both agreeing on some sort of 'break'. When I got home, he phoned me and he was a totally different person. He said he was not sorry and that he was just being a normal man and that he is not going to be walked over by me any longer, and that he only lied to protect my feelings because he knew how I would react. We are on the mend now, but he still isn't sorry for saving that image, even though it hurts me so bad, as it's just horrible to imagine my boyfriend looking at another woman's boobs and saving them, when he has pictures on his laptop of me! He says that he might do it again but I said I wouldn't like him to because it upsets me and he seems to think that is my problem because he still loves me, he just wants to look at other women's boobs. Some people don't mind this, but I do, and why should I change! I love him but the 'old Will' as he said it, cared about my feelings even if he did lie, this one just doesn't understand why I get upset. His mates have probably made him think this way as well, to be honest, which annoys me as I just feel like the pathetic one in all this, but I can't help my feelings? He also wants to start buying Nuts, Zoo and Front magazines and that just makes me sick. I feel like I don't even know him any more but I do want to be with him. I want a compromise but I have cried ever since I found out he saved that picture on his laptop, as he always told me he was never ever looking at any other woman in a sexual way, but what way was he looking at her then? If he had already seen the image before, it can't have been curiosity. I am still mad over what happened, but just scared of going off on one, in case I lose him, as he wanted it to be over the other day, but I talked him round. I am a genuinly nice girl with feelings and I don't want my boyfriend looking at other naked women! Is that such a crime and why should I accept it? I can't stop thinking about him saving that picture when he had good enough pictures of me at his fingers. He had mentioned it a few times in the past, and that his mate has a picture of her topless but I never thought Will was even bothered about looking or going to actually save a picture on his laptop! I can't talk to him about this over and over again because he doesn't understand. Please help. I never wanted my boyfriend to look at another woman's boobs and lie about it and now he has, and I just feel like so destroyed and he thinks that all this behaviour is okay and it just isn't! We haven't even been together a year yet. We should be loved up, not looking at other people naked! He said he was stoned at the time he saved the image. Why did he really save the image? And he has swore to me that he has never looked at porn since we were together and I do believe him but he keeps saying things like "What if did, would it bother you?" but then still says he hasn't and that he doesn't want to. What does he mean by that? Also, he read a 'Front' mag last night as we were both 'single' yesterday, but not really in my mind, and that makes me annoyed too. He said he looked at the boobs, flicked past them and that's it. I don't want this kind of attitude in our relationship. I am a Conservative person and he is trying to change me. He says I am trying to change him but surely his little urge to prove a point and look at boobs isn't really as important as my genuine feelings and beliefs? Why can't he just sacrifice it? Is it that important to him really? And why?
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