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ask: Why has my boyfriend stopped having sex with me?

wHi, my boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 4 months. We spend about 3 days a week together and talk a lot. We are very compatible. I am 34 and he is 37. I just got out of a relationship with my ex a month before we started dating but I broke it off with the ex and felt ready to get back out there to find what I was looking for. The guy I am dating now was in the same boat but I don't think he has healed from his as quickly. As I said, we have been together for 4 months and have been very sexually active with each otheer. But, in the past month it just stopped. He stopped the sex but is still affectionate and cuddles with me. He tells me he is going through a blockage right now that he did not have enough time to mourn the breakup and that I bounced back quicker. He said that he did not expect to find someone so quickly that he really likes and feels longevity with but he is not emotionally ready to deal with what comes with it. He said he wants me to understand and be patient and be ok without being physical right now until he figures it out. I am trying to be supportive and he said that he is not seeing anyone else and that he really sees a future with me he is just in a rut right now and can't think sexually at this time. It hurts me when we sleep in the bed together and he does not want to be with me but he does cuddle and kiss me. What should I do? He is not saying that he wants out, he is saying that he can't be physically available and emotionally available right now but he is trying because he opened up to me about how he was feeling. So, what can I do in the mean time so I don't get hurt but so I can still be with him?

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Pat Elliott

Just as every relationship is unique, so are the reasons or causes behind your partner's choices in his behavior towards you. We have compiled the “best responses” received from both men and women in regards to your specific question, and hope you read through them thoughtfully. Women have been going through the same struggles, and have shared their insight and lessons learned. Men have also shared why they did not want to have sex in their strained relationships.

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December 27, 2010 - 6:53pm
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