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Why won't my boyfriend have sex with me?

By October 13, 2010 - 9:35am
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We have been dating almost 2 years and lived together for the last 4 months. In the beginning we were having sex at least 4 times a week. I think that it was a very healthy sexual relationship and we were both very pleased with each other afterwards every time. At the beginning of this year we went for a two month dry spell. I explained to him that I was having a problem with that and we eventually had sex again. After that we went on vacation together twice, no sex either time. It has been over six months since our last time and I am starting to feel like he is not in to me any more. I try to talk to him about it and let him know that it is really bothering me, and effecting my self esteem, and he insists that he loves me and still finds me attractive. We hug all of the time and little pecks here and there, but definitely no make out sessions (which I long for). I feel as though sometimes I am begging for it. He always has an excuse when I ask, "I'm tired, I want to watch this show, I did not shower yet, I do not have time." I know that he is not cheating, we live together and work at the same place, though we do not see each other at work much, I know that he is not interested in any other women. We both still have seperate lives, I am getting my masters and involved in the union, he goes to the gym on a regular basis and is a beer snob with some friends one or twice a week. He has been in several long term relationships. I am starting to get at my wits end. I want to feel like a whole woman again and I just don't know what to do.

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Cutie

Thanks for your question and welcome!

I'm sorry you are dealing with this situation - it is one of our most common questions asked here on EmpowHER.
Your boyfriend may have a medical issue going on or he may just not want a sexual relationship with you anymore (and he may be cheating even if you think there is no way - you said yourself you are involved in many separate activities).

There is not a lot you can do if he keeps making excuses and won't communicate with you. However, many many other readers are going through the same thing and have been given hundreds of ideas and suggestions so check them out here and tell me what you think!: http://www.empowher.com/community/ask/why-doesnt-my-boyfriend-want-have-sex-me-anymore


October 13, 2010 - 12:09pm
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