I am 30 and my boyfriend is 40. We've been dating 1 year. We started out having a great sex life. Then 4 months into the relationship he started having to travel for work and got a really busy schedule. He recently got a promotion and is under a lot of stress. He doesn't like that he has to travel very much and has told me that he is looking forward to not having to be in Sacramento so much. We still hang out as much as possible. However I have an opposite schedule (work the evening shift 2-10:30pm) and he works during the day. On weekends he is exhausted. I am very frustrated because I would like to have sex 1 or 2x a week, and in the past 6 months it has been a struggle. He will occasionally say "ahh, I have to get to work!" and jump out of bed in the morning really stressed like and get on all his clothes before we have any intimate time. His other excuse is I have to be at a meeting. I am at the point where I am just so frustrated. We both love eachother and I know he is under a ton or stress with a new promotion that requires 12 hour days. He says he cannot handle me pouting or being sad. When we have sex it good. He has said that I am "the best".
I waited until I was 25 to have sex. He's had many years to have this enjoyment. I'm not a crazy sex addict, I just need sex (it's essential) 1 or 2x a week. We average 4x a month. But occasionally if I'm on my period or he's dead tired I'm scared to initiate sex. I don't want to be turned down.
Is there something wrong with me having to ask him questions and need to have sex. I am in my prime and don't want to waste my time. However, I love him, and I know that we both want to stay in the relationship. Do men's sex drives slow down in their 40's?
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I am not dating but friendly with a guy who is 40, super athletic professionally (super hot), never been married, nice guy. I picked him and initiated conversation which led to more. He's a person who never gives a straight answer but more diplomatic so you never know what he is thinking. We kissed and had a 20 second of sex once. He is definitely not good at handling woman and start intimacy. We have discussed that neither of us want a relationship but at least i want to have sex with him but he is so hard to get through. We are super flirty over the phone but when I am with him, looks like he is afraid to get to it. Question: how straight forward can you be with a man? Is it taken clingy if I ask him about this? We live in different cities and I only see him every now and then, so I honestly do not even understand why would he not want to just do it whenever possible?
September 3, 2017 - 3:30amHe has no other woman in his life and otherwise well equipped to perform. In texts he is brave to say he wants to do this and that, but nothing when I am standing in front of him and wanting to rip his clothes off. I care for this man so much but starting to give up on him as I have not found the way to be friends with benefits. I have my own insecurities as he is super toned but I am not as much. Maybe he does not want this whole thing but too nice to say it? I really have no clue what is going on.
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How old are you. I am 19 and I am in the same situation as you right now . I also have a boyfriend buts
March 17, 2018 - 7:09pmThis Comment
I have the same problem my guy is 51 iam 41 and very sexual I have to tone down for him I would like it once a week also his excuses work school tired or maybe tomorrow we would be right there turned on and he would say tomorrow is better I have to get up early in morning since we don't live together yet or wait until we find a place I feel like I'm bursting out most of the time waiting I know that he like me also because of your plan together but I'm tired of wanting be with him sexual and it s not happen for weeks at a time I feel unwanted most of the time I'm doing pushed to the limit for not having sex when natural I'm a very sexual person.
February 15, 2016 - 8:52amThis Comment
Hello,
November 11, 2016 - 10:26pmOMG, this is exactly how my situation is except im 26 and my husband of three years is 43. I love him to death. I being a very sexual person in my prime would like to be intimate 1 to 2 times a week at least.(unless ovulation is in effect). Im having a really hard time and get soo mad when my husband make excuses like "oh, i have to be up really early" or " give me a min'. A minute turns into 5 minutes 5 minutes turned into 10 minutes 10 minutes turned into an hour and pretty soon we wont be intimate at all. It very frustrating. Not only that he has no children and would like to have at least 2. I on the other hand have a 4 1/2 year old from a previous relationship. I have not had many sex partners and was wondering if this is normal or what can i do to help him? Or myself. I dont want to look else where to get my needs met. Also, the fact that we have not gotten pregnant at all im starting to wonder if he has any fertility issues. Any advice is welcomed... except for the judgmental and rude ones. Thanks and Kind regards.
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The one issue that's a problem is the age difference. You have a more higher drive than him. A lot of men in their forties tend to slow down don't be offended. Stress of work lack of sleep any and everything.
August 1, 2017 - 3:18pmThis Comment
1. Lose some weight
December 24, 2015 - 3:48pm2. Get your hair done
3. Apply some make-up
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To whomever posted a response lose weight. Get hair done and wear make up is seriously in need of help. That is possibly theee stupidist response of all time. Keep throwing us back into the Middle Ages. Smh. Idiotic. These women sharing their issues are NOT the problem. Men in their 40’s and 50’s sometimes suffer from lessening sex drive. It’s mental and situational. Putting lipstick on will do nothing to change this except possible moisturize ur lips. Moron
June 20, 2018 - 7:51amThis Comment
Hi I'm 26 and have a 40 year old lover. He seems to be interested then time he is not. My drive is a lot higher being considerably younger. I like him a lot and making love isn't everything but I don't feel very intimate towards him when he's not and I fveel are relationship dwindling. Any suggestions?
October 14, 2015 - 6:39pmThis Comment
Hi I'm a 44 yr old guy and for the past 2 yrs or so my sex drive has all but disappeared, I've been married (faithfully) to my darling wife for 22 yrs and right up to a few years ago we used to screw like rabbits, she was so active I was seriously considering taking on a laborer :) but in all honesty when she hit 40 her sex drive diminished considerably , she would still put out but it was labored and even repulsive (from her point of view) I know she loves me and she put it down to menopause which is kind of funny when you break it down, men ? O Pause. I don't know if her lack of drive was a reason for my later disinterest but It's definitely a problem for me lately. I still find her attractive , other women too but its like I've been castrated, I've been resolved not to take viagra or watch porn or cheat in any other way, but I do feel quite inadequate considering I'm only 44 . I am under quite a bit of pressure as I own my own business and this is quite a new concept. My wife is quite supportive as her drive is low as well , well except when she gets pissed then shes like May friggen West, but I often reluctantly turn her away , only because nothing is happening for me :( . I just wanted to throw this out there after reading some of the other posts from younger women in relationships with 40 yr old guys. I've always loved sex and have always considered it a major part of my relationships , I used to be quite insecure in myself as I was abandoned by my birth mother but my wife did a lot to restore my faith in women. We sometimes try role playing, well more me (she hates acting ) and that was helpful , even sick stuff where she pretends she's sleeping and I sneak in and very slowly pull away the bed sheet firstly exposing her breasts and well yeah I'm sure you can guess the rest but even that kinda of playful stuff has stopped. I'm not here to complain , just throwing it out into the world letting people know that this kinda shit happens , it's not planned and nor is it welcomed it's just how it is :(
July 1, 2015 - 6:32amThis Comment
Thank you so much for your open and honest writing. I am very appreciative.
April 16, 2016 - 1:52pmThis Comment