How did I allow myself to get to a whopping 346 lbs after losing 150 pounds five years prior? I’ll tell you
how, through depression, anger, and bitterness. I was emotionally attached to food. I sought out refuge
in fast food and chocolate. It provided a sense of comfort when all else failed. I didn’t realize that my
negative outlook on life or just my skewed perception of life held me in captivity. I’ve worked so hard
for everything I have, yet I couldn’t understand why I was borderline unemployed, at one point in my
life homeless sleeping in a shelter and at rest stops in my car. I felt a sense of entitlement; as if life
owed me something more than what it owed the next person. I didn’t realize that this negative thinking
perpetuated a vicious cycle that left me dependent on food. It became the metric for measuring my
self-worth. The strategy it took to hide my addiction and commitment to binge eating was uncanny.
There were mornings I would enter a restaurant with a plan to hide my addiction from others and yet
somehow “trick” myself into believing my eating wasn’t any different from anyone else. And that my
weight was a result of life’s many burdens placed upon me. Boy was I fooled!
After many years of battling obesity, in 2010, I committed myself to improving my health and fitness. Just 10 pounds shy of my Body Mass Index, and having lost 152 pounds in less than a year, standing a
proud six feet tall, I reached a “happy” place in my life. Week after week I started making healthier decisions in my diet. I went from consuming a medium pizza for lunch to cooking baked tilapia, steamed broccoli and brown rice. I went from gorging myself with second and third helpings to eating the serving size, weighing my food and measuring out my portions. I took pride in my health. I started incorporating exercise into my daily routine. I’ve severed ties with emotional binge eating. I am healing from my past
struggles and continue to triumph adversity. One thing is certain, I’ve not only gained a sense of self-
worth but I’ve acquired a strong commitment to helping others in their struggle!
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