What do you see when you look in the mirror? February is Body Awareness Month
We all (ok, most of us) moan and grown when we discuss fitting into our summer wardrobe or looking good at holiday parties. We reminisce about how we used to look wonderful and wonder - what happened?
We women are the best in world at making others feel great about themselves while verbally (or silently) putting ourselves down. How many times do we assure our girlfriends of their beauty and value? Yet we overtly call ourselves fat, slobby, haggard, past-our-sell-by-date and a hundred other mean things we'd NEVER say to our friends.
Why?
Is it just the thing to do? Are we just used to calling ourselves names? Are we fishing for compliments? Do we really believe our self name-calling or are we afraid to appear conceited by saying we're happy as we are? Or do we have a distorted notion of what "healthy" and "beautiful" actually is?
Maybe it's a combination of all of the above.
I'm NOT how I used to be. My weight is good, my health is fine, thank God. But I'm not quite as lean as I used to be. My belly is not rock hard anymore. And I'm getting lines at the sides of my eyes.
But I need to remember that three human beings grew in that belly. Lines around my eyes are going to form because I laugh - a lot. Ain't that grand?
February is National Body Awareness Month. A month where we need to focus on not putting ourselves down and learning that healthy does not necessarily mean skinny and a few facial lines don't mean that Death is knocking on the door. We all know that large amounts on fat on our bodies are not good. Being over-weight can lead to heart disease, type 2 diabetes and a higher risk of certain cancers.
While some are naturally thin, starving ourselves into being a size 00 (yes, that's actually a size now) is not healthy or beautiful. It's torture. And these unrealistic expectations are causing women to form a dangerous body perception. They see ultra thin celebrities on magazine covers and fail to recognize that they are air-brushed to within an inch of their lives! And have professional hair and makeup that took two or three hours to create. They also have personal chefs and trainers and more money than most of us to get the body they think is expected of them. But they may also face eating disorders, and other conditions like osteoporosis that could eventually creep up on them.
So bear in mind that a healthy diet is vital. So is exercise. But being a size 7 or 8 is not bad. It's not ugly and it doesn't need to be changed. What needs changing is our perspective about what health and 'beauty' really is. We need a 'body awareness' that is both realistic and healthy. Because the unrealistic view we have of what the human body is supposed to look like, inside and out, is affecting millions of women every day.
And our daughters (and sons) are always watching and listening. They hear their mother - usually the most beautiful woman in the world to them - put herself down and call herself names because she doesn't look like a movie star. Remember, the movie star doesn't look like a movie star either! And behaviors and patterns are repeated by our children. When your kid tells you that you're beautiful - say thank you! And tell them how much fun exercise is (it's ok to fake that part if applicable) and how good it makes us feel.
For more information about Body Awareness Month, check out the NEDA here:
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
and if you'd like to talk to someone about issues you have with body awareness or self-image, you can call the National Eating Disorders helpline at 1.800.931.2237. You don't have to have an eating disorder to call. But they can help you achieve a healthy attitude toward your body and leave the self-criticism behind.
Incidentally, the week of February 23 is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.
Tell Us
What is your perception of your body? What's your self-image?
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I think I'm OK with what I see in the mirror, but like every other woman, there are things I would change too. The wrinkles, tightening this, lifting that. But will I? Probably not. I think everyone goes through a phase where they want to fit in and look like everyone else. They want to look like Hollywood celebrities who don't -- to your point Susan, look like what's portrayed on the cover of magazines. And even if they do, it seems they have to sacrifice a lot (Think food) to do it.
Several years ago, a celebrity said something like "It's better to change your attitude about your body than it is to change your body." Don't remember who it was, but I like it. And as long as a woman's health isn't compromised, she should accept herself.
What I see in the bathroom mirror is scary. What I see in the corner of my car's rear view view mirror is one eye, that looks okay; but, the rest of the face, or the body, oy vay!
I'm actually aware that I don't see myself "correctly" in the mirror, meaning I don't actually see what's there. It's a visual perception / mental issue, I think. I was incredibly thin during my 20s -- at 5-10, sometimes I was 125-130 pounds, just because I was very very active and I ate very healthfully. I ran, I played racquetball, went out dancing with friends, etc. It was just activity all the time, and my lean body became my standard for what I was at "my best."
I still remember, on my wedding day at 31, realizing at 140 that I felt "fat." Keep in mind that for 5-10, this is still thin. But I was 10 pounds over what I felt my "best" weight was, and therefore I must be fat.
I still, to this day, don't see myself right in the mirror at home. My mind exaggerates how "bad" I look and I end up cringing. But what's weird is that when I accidentally catch a reflection of myself in a store mirror or a windowfront, the me I see there is different than the me I see at home. I see the whole, then, and I don't zoom in on the more troublesome parts. And I find myself saying wow, that's not so bad after all.
I do need to lose weight, and I am working on it. But I will be happier at a healthy weight for my height and I'll concentrate on how my clothes fit and how I feel rather than how my body looks in the mirror, because I'm not sure I ever see myself "correctly."
For me, it depends on if I've worked out recently or not. I also need to lose weight (according to my BMI, not just for appearance-reasons!).
So, after I work out, it is so funny---I (think) I can see more muscles, my tummy looks flatter...I look good!
If I haven't worked out for more than 3 days, I see more of the flab and not so much muscle. It's disappointing to look in the mirror, b/c I expect to see my 20-pounds-lighter self. I've lost 10 pounds in the past 2 months, and feel good inside about it!
I have my days. Both good and bad. I think overall though each and everyone of us tends to not like SOMETHING about ourselves. I can say I feel very comfortable in my skin although there are always those special days that you can certainly appear enormous no matter how hard you have worked out. Isn't life grand.
One of my dear friends told me once that when she reached a certain age, she simply stopped wearing her glasses whenever she looked in the mirror. She says she still feels as young and as beautiful as she did when she was in her 40's. I've never forgotten this -- it still makes me laugh.
I have always made it a point, when I'm with my two daughters and in front of a mirror, to say out loud, "I'm a beautiful woman." It's rubbed off on them -- they'll get in front of my full-length closet mirror and say the same thing. Or I'll say, "Aren't we three the most beautiful girls?" I've done this since they were toddlers. My eldest daughter, who's just about to turn 13, has an enviably healthy body image. She's never had an issue with food, is comfortable in her own skin, and exudes confidence in her body, the way she moves, and how she looks. I just love that. My youngest, who is 7, appears to be following in her big sis' footsteps. Now if we can just get through Jr. high and high school with these healthy attitudes intact, I will have done my job......