Facebook Pixel

Chronic illnesses /daily life with them Join this Group

How to deal with Doctors who do not listen?

By March 19, 2013 - 2:40am

I love to hear how others handle doctors who do not listen to their patients. There are stats out that prove over and over that doctors including women doctors do not take women talking about pain especially seriously. Or just any kind of health problem we may have.
I know personally, that if i get stressed, than all my logic tends to go out of my head and instead i begin to doubt myself and even though all my gut instincts may be saying that this doctor is a jerk part of me is trying to get him or her to believe me.
Why do i do this to my self? Do others do this or i wish i was like most men who just wrack up the idiot doctor as just that. I will have to look for it but a woman gave me great game plan about how to deal with difficult doctors.
It was like use the I only in conversation i feel blah blah ..do not argue with doctor instead ask why they feel that way ..what science do they have behind it and say it not snotty but kindly which is hard when you are about to lose your temper...i get.
I cannot recall all her ideas and will try and find it. I my self just lost my great GP doctor who was as much a friend as my doctor.....new guy read his charts and than clearly made assumptions about me with out asking me to feel in the gaps which explain it correctly instead he did it his way which was all wrong and made me look more negative than i am.
SO i like to know how others handle it.....
it sure would help us...also has anyone complained to someone about doctor or medical person to their boss...and how did you or where and how did it go?
i am sorry about not getting better topics going..i forget at times about this group as i belong to many and i could take the best from them and move them here to help those that are busy so you get some great ideas with out having to read lots of support sites.
i apologize and will try to be better.

By HERWriter Guide April 5, 2013 - 8:11am

Hi siskiyou

These are all great points.

I very much agree with staying calm and becoming as educated as possible about your own condition so that your doctor can discuss topics with you without discomfort or the patient feeling out of her league.

Doctors see many patients every day and can get their information mixed up. Listen to what they say and correct them when necessary. I recently had  a specialist tell me twice that I had  "very distant" relatives with a certain kind of cancer until after the second time I interrupted him to say that these "very distant" relatives were my mother,her father and both her siblings! Those are very close relatives! He had either misread my chart or was thinking of another patient so listening to what they say and making corrections is very necessary. My clarification for him resulted in exploratory surgery.

Thanks for raising this topic - it's so important!


April 5, 2013 - 8:11am
By March 29, 2013 - 8:11pm

I actually had another woman answer this problem in another group .
It was the I way of speaking where you stay calm and do not ever you but stick to what you want such as I am having pain here and what can be done.
If doctor ignore you, keep repeating it gently ignoring what he has said to you. If he gives you an answer like I do not believe you have pain there.
She says you ask why medically do you believe that?
Also, wait when meeting a new doctor to really speak. Let them speak first to get feel about what kind of person they are and if you think they are going to be good for you or not.
Most important things since many doctors including women ones, do not believe women when they say they have pain. NY times just did article on this and about 4 studies that back this up.
So stay calm and keep on course on what you need them to help you with do not let them get you off track.
Also most importantly, educate yourself about your disease so you can answer any idiot ideas they have. Like with lupus most people with it will have a false ANA during their life time of testing it. Could be you are in remission or just is negative and you are still active. Any decent Rhem is very much aware of this with about every autoimmune disease...we just tend to not test clearly consistent. Which is why it makes it so hard in diagnosing. Part is the testing and rest is checking out symptoms and signs of the different diseases the person is showing.

I hope others do write in solutions to this problem. I can say that sometimes just a good old yelling at them if they cross the boundaries of touching you without permission will do wonders too! lol!

March 29, 2013 - 8:11pm

Group Leader

Related Topics


Ideas that we can share as whole how to cope with daily living with chronic illnesses. Tips, support, how to make housework, life easier, how to deal with children, spouses, friends who do not understand what it is like...just a support group that will help make living with chronic illnesses easier.


This Group is Open to all EmpowHER.com members