Paula describes how she has changed in the more than four years battling ovarian cancer.
I have become somewhat calmer about what’s going on, not that I don’t get anxious when I have to get a report, but I have calmed down. I don’t know how to put it. I don’t get all bent out of shape about it, and it’s kind of acceptance.
I think you kind of acclimate to what is when you live with something long enough. I think that’s part of it is that, I mean, the nurse at Dr. Janasek’s office was the nurse that I had when I first had my first chemo, and, you know, I’ll say to her, I said, “Well, I am lot different than I was,” and she said, “You certainly are.” You know, and I am just kind of calmer about the whole thing, and this last time when they told me I relapsed, it was like, “Well, I knew it. Now what are we going to do?”
It’s, we, as humans, I think human beings just kind of after a while accept what is. And I mean, you look at women who are abused and they kind of just accept that this is their life. Well, I have kind of accepted that this is my life, and that, even though I say I just want this whole thing to go away, I really do, but it’s not.
I think that’s, I am in a different place now. I am a little more educated as to what is going on. I feel very strongly that women have to be educated, which is why I work for the NOCC (National Ovarian Cancer Coalition) and go to expos and fairs and hand out information. I gave them to whoever is in the front office there today, too. I think it’s really important, and the problem is that, the doctors just don’t understand. And I hear that over and over and over from, I have two friends who have gone through this, same thing with the ovarian cancer, and it helps to talk to them, too.
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