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My boyfriend wont have sex with me anymore

By December 17, 2009 - 8:02pm
 
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my boyfriend for over a year just recently stopped having sex with me, its like it went from 3 or 4 times a week and slowly went to not having it for almost 2 months, every time i ask him why he wont play with me anymore he always says i don't know, i didn't want to make it feel like i was bugging him but i guess it just hurt when he said he didn't know? So i kept asking him and then i finally got a response which i just think he gave me so i would stop asking and he just said i feel like your getting bored of me. I've tried many times to tell him that its not really about the sex its about being with him and he still wont have sex with me.. i feel like i'm not wanted or i'm not good enough. I just want to know what the problem is, sex used to be a big part of our relationship and now its nothing.

I know it shouldnt but this is really making me depressed i've been crying more because of this i get mad easly because he just seems like he doesnt care anymore. Also i know he doesn't have a STD or anything else we get checked.

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Anonymous (reply to Ashleeeeeeee)

I'm going through the same thing. We are 56 yrs old. We always had a. Great sex life for 5 years out of 7 yrs. One day I went into his cell phone and discovered he was looking and disgusting fat woman, looking at the personals in craigs list and he had 2 gmail facts nude r different names. He got mad at me when I woke his ads up and asked if he was cheating cuz that's just not his way. He said no and said that he was curious. I told him I consider what he did as cheating. Porn desensitized men . W false realities. He is also insecure about his small penis. I'm st my wits end. I l ove him and I want him. Etc? Help.

April 22, 2016 - 9:36pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and we've just recently developed a problem with intimacy. It's slowed down to once every couples weeks, with me being the only one to initiate. I feel unwanted and shameful because i feel like there has to be something wrong with me for me to need it more than he does.... we have a good relationship besides that, we get along very well, but this is definitely taking a toll on us. I'm thinking about counseling, but I'm just starting to become hopeless

February 27, 2016 - 10:45pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over two years now. In the beginning he couldn't get enough of me, now we only have sex every few months. When I confront him about it he says it feels like a chore to him. So for the last two months I haven't brought it up thinking maybe it would change. But for these two months he hasn't tried once. He says he loves me and we still have a functioning relationship other wise. However, I have felt so alone and unwanted. It makes me feel ugly and not good enough. So tonight, after two months to the day I stated to touch him but he didn't try anything from there. So I asked him again why it's been 2 months without sex. He once again said because I make him feel like it's a chore to have sex with me, then he rolled over and fell asleep. I've been up crying and looking up online for answers or comfort.

February 23, 2016 - 11:55pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I do the exact same thing! & in fact I've been up crying while my boyfriend is asleep next to me. He tells me he doesn't want to have sex because he has anxiety and he's stressed but he used to want sex multiple times a day. I don't know what's going on. We've been through a lot recently but He just got a new job and Is happy so I don't know what's going on. He also gets really defensive and angry when I bring it up so I can never open up about my feelings. He keeps saying it has nothing to do with me. Although I dont find that to be true.

March 17, 2016 - 1:03am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

My boyfriend and I have been together about a year and a half. I'm 22, he's 34. We recently moved in together and it seems as though once I moved in, all intimacy immediately stopped. I feel neglected, unattractive, and unwanted. He tells me he's just tired because he works 10 hours or more 7 days a week. But he's never too tired to go out to clubs on Saturday nights and get trashed. He keeps telling me that's his escape and that he needs me here. He says sex isn't that important. But it is still an important part of a relationship. He claims he loves me, but I don't know what to believe anymore. I hate waking up next to him everyday and having to feel like I'm not good enough, that something is wrong with me. I do love him with all of my heart, but it seems that he is just plain uninterested in me. He only cares about making money to spend on himself and going out to get drunk every weekend.

February 17, 2016 - 7:45am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm in the same boat... my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months... things we're going great until a couple of weeks ago... we usually have sex at least once or twice a week, but it's been nearly 3, and anytime I try to cozy up to him he just pushes my hands away, says hes tired, and rolls over and goes to sleep... he loved into my house shortly after we started dating and I've been paying all the bills and some of his as well... he has a full time job in construction, and is in a band, but somehow never seems to have money to help pay bills... I know 3 weeks isn't a very long time, but it almost feels like he's with me because I'm supporting him, and he knows I'll do anything and everything I can to make h happy... idk... I guess I'm just confused... :/ I'm so insecure as it is and this is NOT helping at all!

February 9, 2016 - 7:29pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi ladies,

Ive previously commented on this post mine is the anon comment of November 23. I can report that things in my relationship have significantly improved.

There was a point where I really thought that it would never change but I stuck around and tried my hardest because I truly believe I am supposed to be with my partner.

After lots of arguments, heated discussions and effort on both of our parts we seem to have gotten through to each other and we are both making more of an effort to be more considerate to each other.

I can only advise you to do whatever feels right for you! Definitely don't let anyone guilt you in to staying with them because they depend on you but similarly don't be so quick to walk away if there is a way you can BOTH work on your issues.

Xx

January 6, 2016 - 11:01pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. As everyone else here says. Sex was great for about the first year. But on the 2nd year it started slowing down. He is always tired but yet has the time and energy to stay up and play on his computer. Most of his attention is on that thing. When i ask for his attention he just says "i told you im a big gamer". But he didn't game until after we got together. And when i try to please him he rolls over or moves my hands away. And recently when i confronted him on how i feel about our sex life he called me a chore. I feel too insecure to leave him because we live together and have all these bills together. Ive been talking to other guys just to have a conversation with a guy who's not calling me a chore. Im not talking sexual or anything i just wanted to know if im the crazy one. I dont know what to do anymore. I provide for him so he can live comfortably. But if that's the only reason why hes staying with me i need to find the courage to leave. I wish i was stronger.

December 28, 2015 - 12:56am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

IV been with my boyfriend for 2 years. There has been a lot of stress as he doesn't have a source of income. In the beginning we had a normal sex life but the last one year has seen a total decline. He just doesn't respond to me and we average about once a month now.. When and only when he wants it..I talked to him last night about it..rather confronted him as to how I really feel..that he isn't interested or attracted to me anymore..and it turned into an ugly argument. He said I should look for a gigolo and tht as a man he can't force an erectiom which is why we only have sex once a month when he wants. I have been with enough guys to know whats what and his point just sounds weird to me..he won't even let me touch his penis playfully without getting irritated. I don't know what is going on. He is 29 BTW. IV never been in a situation like this..on the other hand he says he loves me and can't live without me...but I dont feel particularly adored..just empty unfulfilled rejected and full of self doubt.

March 28, 2016 - 2:17am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I'm sorry to hear your in this situation. I normally don't respond to things online, but I wanted to let you know I'm in the exact same situation. We've also been together for 3 years, and in the beginning things were great. Now things are non existent. He has some issues with performance, which I believe is making him insecure. Personally, that issue doesn't bother me, as I understand it happens to some as we get older, but it seems affect him terribly. I'm also concerned that it's become more of an excuse for him other than what is actually going on. Obviously it's a factor, but he has completely lost all affection for me as well. If the roles were reversed, I would do something if it's just a physical issue (like go to the doctors). I'm to the point where I'm going to make a decision for our relationship because I've previously addressed the issue, and unfortunately nothing has changed. It's starting to negatively affect my emotions and I feel I deserve better, but it is also very hard to walk way from him because over all, I do love him. I guess I need to figure out if it is worth working through together or if I should just get out now. We are engaged, and I couldn't imagine the rest of my life without sex! LoL best of luck to you!

January 6, 2016 - 7:45pm
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