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My boyfriend wont have sex with me anymore

By December 17, 2009 - 8:02pm
 
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my boyfriend for over a year just recently stopped having sex with me, its like it went from 3 or 4 times a week and slowly went to not having it for almost 2 months, every time i ask him why he wont play with me anymore he always says i don't know, i didn't want to make it feel like i was bugging him but i guess it just hurt when he said he didn't know? So i kept asking him and then i finally got a response which i just think he gave me so i would stop asking and he just said i feel like your getting bored of me. I've tried many times to tell him that its not really about the sex its about being with him and he still wont have sex with me.. i feel like i'm not wanted or i'm not good enough. I just want to know what the problem is, sex used to be a big part of our relationship and now its nothing.

I know it shouldnt but this is really making me depressed i've been crying more because of this i get mad easly because he just seems like he doesnt care anymore. Also i know he doesn't have a STD or anything else we get checked.

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Anonymous

I haven't been together with my boyfriend for very long, but we used to have sex fairly often and now it's been almost a month. I play with him and he gets hard, but then he just goes to bed or doesn't want me to finish what I started. He masturbates every morning when we could just have sex. He doesn't play with me anymore and it's honestly to the point that I feel he is no longer attracted to me sexually and it is frustrating me so so much and I just don't know what to do anymore. Anyone have a suggestions for me?

October 15, 2015 - 2:52am

It's sad but great that other women are having the same problem I am. I finally don't feel a lone. Me and my bf have been together almost a yr at first we had sex everyday and it was amazing. then it decreased to now maybe once a wk but every time we have sex now I can tell he doesn't want it and I feel like I'm forcing him. I ask him what's wrong and he says he doesn't know. I feel terrible like he's not attractive to me any more or doesn't want me it's the worst feeling ever. Top that off we are trying to get pregnant and I'm already having trouble with that and us never having sex doesn't help. I asked him if I'm pressuring him and he said he felt a little pressured when we were first started trying to get pregnant but not any more so idk what's wrong he's perfect and we have the greatest relationship besides this one thing . I am so up set I can barely sleep at night bcuz I'm so worried.

October 13, 2015 - 4:56am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and we use to have sex multiple times a week for almost the whole time we've been together. But within the last probably 5-6 months, I have to bring it up or initiate it and it feels like he only does it because he thinks he has to. He said when I ask i make him feel pressured and he told me to just let it happen. I've stopped bringing it up for like the past 2 months but nothing happens. He masturbates frequently, even on days we were together and could've had sex. It doesn't bother me that he masturbates, i just don't like how it seems like he'd rather watch a video and use his hand then to have sex with me. He doesn't even get into it anymore. He doesn't try to please me as much or anything, I play with him, I get a little but then he goes straight for it and that's it. Does he not get attracted by me anymore? I try to be romantic and sexy, kiss his neck, try to play with him to turn him on but it's always "I don't feel like it right now, I'm not in the mood, I'm tired" it hurts when it's turned down all the time and then like he doesn't even enjoy it

October 11, 2015 - 7:03pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi everyone, i have exactly the same trouble but with my girlfriend been together almost 20 month, at first we where having sex almost everyday, but got less and less now it's been like 6 weeks I feel so down and depressed feeling life isn't worth living anymore, all I get from her is im not interested or I'm tired yet she stays up till early hours in the morning drinking, is she getting it from someone else? Please help me

October 11, 2015 - 9:28am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

From a girls perspective, it sounds like she could be cheating. Have you confronted her about it?

October 11, 2015 - 7:09pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I have that was one of my firsts thoughts, when I confronted her about that she went all defensive saying don't be so stupid I juse too tired from work, but I don't know what to think ?

October 12, 2015 - 12:23am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

My boyfriend is doing the same thing. It makes me feel so unattractive and unwanted when he turns it down or doesn't even try but when I bring it up he gets mad like "I'm sorry I'm tired or just not in the mood" but I can't even et him in the mood. I don't know what to think. I know for a fact he's not cheating, we spend almost every day together. I just don't get it

October 12, 2015 - 6:54pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I didn't know there were so many women feeling the same thing. My boyfriend and got out of hand on our very first (and second) date and ended up in the back of his truck in a farmers field (oh how I miss those moments). I remember the third date I had to refuse sex because I didn't want our relationship to be only for the sex. Now it's been over 2 years, I love this man more than anything in the world, and we've had some crazy amazing sexual adventures together, but now for some reason he keeps avoiding it. I've done everything to try to encourage him but I don't wanna push sex on him when he doesn't want to, and even when I do get a little, he doesn't even seem interested. I can't even begin to describe how awful this has made me feel, so unwanted, unattractive, etc. Like, i cant even watch romance movies anymore. I just want to find a way for him to want it as much as I do! We love each other, until bedtime..

October 1, 2015 - 9:54pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I'm not entirely sure on what's going on with him, but maybe you should (if you haven't already) being more assertive in bed. He might feel like he's doing a lot of the work to please you.

You could try being more aggressive in bed with him. Instead of letting him make sure he pleases you, you could make sure you please him just once to see how it goes.

I know guys can feel a bit overwhelmed sometimes that they have to satisfy their partners, almost to the point where it can feel like a chore, so turning the tables on him every once in a while might mix things up just enough for him.

As for how aggressive you should be since I'm sure you might be wondering, I honestly can't say. Depends what your both comfortable with and how far your willing to go out your comfort zone.

Since you didn't say anything about him being stressed or just tired from work, this is really all I can say. But before that, try talking to him. He might try to avoid the topic or something but at least try because you never really know, maybe he's itching to get something off his chest.

October 1, 2015 - 10:45pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Wow, this is crazy how many other women are going through this. I thought I was alone. Me and my boyfriend have been dating a little over a year but have known each other for about 7. In the beginning of our relationship sex was fun and amazing. Just like the majority of you ladies it just started to basically disappear. Then I got pregnant. Yes pregnant by the one guy I've dated that will barely touch me... lol. Sorry it blows my mind. Honestly our relationship is pretty great besides the seal parts of it. But it's also not that great because it makes me feel horrible about myself and makes me resent him. He says things like he's tired or he doesn't feel like it. I convinced him to go to the doctor which ended up basically being he had low testosterone but the doc won't give him medication due to him being too young? Also the doctor says it's physiological more than anything. He made it pretty clear he wasn't going to go to a psychologist. He says he.lives me, he's attracted to me...that it's plain ..not me. I don't believe it and.told him if things do not change I don't want to be with him. I love him so much and I'm very attracted to him but I cannot deal with this for much longer. After I have the baby and get into shape again, if he still doesn't want me...oh well. Things have been very stressful latley but it had been going on before i was pregnant. Hopefully he will be a good father to our son.

September 16, 2015 - 1:13pm
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