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My question is about my adult boyfriend who has Asperger's

By Anonymous August 10, 2015 - 9:51pm
 
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My boyfriend is very important at his job and has a lot of responsibilities there. It is a very stressful job that he hates, but I know He won't leave. He sometimes must work long hours months on end. For six months thing were going very well. Then he had this big project that he was responsible for. It was coming time for it to be due, so he couldn't see me often. It didn't get finished on time and there were serious computer problems with it. That was a project that was extra - not his regular job. Now it is his company's busy time, so he had the project and the busy time to deal with. He also has kids and they come first. He becomes so hyper-focused and busy that he says he does not have time to read my texts or send any. We don't live real close so we can't see each other when those busy times happen. He told me that he wants to marry me and knows I want to marry him. I know He loves me. I love him very much. He is very kind, loving, and affectionate. He is very generous and willing to help me if he can. He is a wonderful man and very gentlemanly. He has many other awesome qualities too. I am insecure sometimes and when I don't hear from him in days or weeks I worry that he doesn't want me anymore. We were in a long distance relationship years ago, but we live closer now.

It has been two months since I have received a text from him. In that text he let me know that things were really bad at work. He had been working for days straight without sleep. I feel very bad for him. I can't reach him. You wouldn't know He has Asperger's except for this one problem. I am so afraid he will never talk to me again. He knows it hurts me and worries me when he doesn't let me know what's going on. Why can't he just text me once a day during these times to tell me he still loves me and hasn't broken up with me? It takes like 30 seconds to read a text and send one. I try to be patient and understanding, but I'm so depressed right now.

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Anonymous

As an aspie myself I can tell you that a text like that can take half a day to get right. You might want to be explicit and tell him what you think and what you need (a few minutes of attention every day.) He can't do much about your interpretation of his actions, but he can certainly give you some time. It might be blunt in your eyes, but communicating your intents and wishes clearly will help him. Really.

December 19, 2015 - 5:17pm

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