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away at college - missing home a lot?

By August 21, 2016 - 8:18pm
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I'm currently overseas at college until December when I go back home for Christmas. It's my second last year and even though I am nearly done, I've found it more and more difficult being here. It's to the point where I go home more frequently than I did in the beginning because I am so miserable here. I miss home terribly - my parents, my boyfriend, my friends and pets, and I find myself constantly upsetting myself over the tiniest things and tearing up, especially during class, or on the bus or in the supermarket. I also cry a lot at home as well. I'm a lot more irritable and pessimistic here than I used to be, and I constantly find myself thinking up impossible scenarios in my head and then getting upset or worried over them, even though I know they can't happen. I still find it hard to listen to reason when I get into one of those worried states. My hair falls out a lot (although I think it has to do more with the humidity and water here) and I often lose my appetite so I take supplements to bring it back. I try cheering myself up with my favourite foods or snacks, but sometimes I feel guilty about the money I spend on them, even though my parents say that it's okay. Even though I live in the dorms, I don't go out very much here as the city where I am is very dangerous and crime has exploded. I've already been mugged twice here, so I feel anxious every time I go out in the street after dark.

I know that being in a long-distance relationship is stressful, but sometimes I think it's that I'm deliberately making myself unhappy when I am far away from my boyfriend and my friends and family. Like my mind thinks that I am not 'allowed' to be happy once I'm not with them physically. I also find myself alone here alot even though I have friends here. I'm not really close to anyone in my class, and the close friends I have, even though they say that I can always talk to them when I am sad or upset, I feel like I am bothering them (even though they always say no they don't feel that way).

I'm really worried that this could possibly spiral into depression or anxiety, and it makes me sad because I was a generally very happy and optimistic person growing up, before I went away to college. How can I make myself feel better? and especially, how can I stop myself from worrying over things that I know aren't possible? How can I make myself feel better about being away from home? I tried going to see the school counsellor but they were pretty unreliable and said they would call me back for an appointment but never did.

Thank you in advance! any tips or advice I'd really appreciate.

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HERWriter Guide

Hi RK!

Thanks for reaching out to us!

I have to ask why are you overseas at college in a rather violent city with no friends or family within reach? I'm sure there are great colleges where you live. Is it possible to transfer? There seems to be no real reason to stay there and a million reasons to leave. If you have two more years to go, that's a long time when you are depressed.

Have you thought about transferring home? Not everyone is ok with being so far from home in an unsafe city; it's ok to admit that and go back where you belong and study there. It's something to think about...


August 22, 2016 - 6:06am
(reply to Susan Cody)

Hi Ms Cody, thanks for replying!
I've definitely considered transferring, however it's not possible as the university where I live said they wouldn't be able to accept my credits, and that I'd have to start over completely from scratch.
In all honesty I only have a year and a piece to go (will be able to finish end of next year as I took extra classes to finish quickly) so I've discussed it with my parents and close family and decided it'd be best for me to continue and finish, as I wouldn't want all of this strife to be in vain. However, I still am searching for ways that I can cope with the negative feelings that I experience while here, and my almost fear of being alone. is there anything that you would suggest? I'm open to anything haha

thank you!

August 22, 2016 - 8:37pm
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